[Video] - Privatetop_magicianJanuary 21 2011, 03:18:08 UTC
[There are days when Fran sits and thinks. And when he thinks, he always keeps his thoughts to himself. No one needed to know how his mind works, that would take away all the fun. And in all the time he's had to sit and think next to the rivers and trees of Amesato, all the times he sat on his balcony at night and stared into the starry sky outside the Varia manor... ]
Byakuran-san. Thinking too much does a lot, you know? But most of the time, it does nothing at all.
[ One of the things Fran's always thought about, just where does the line between good and evil lie? Good guys and bad guys. If someone were to ask certain people, then Master was evil. If one were to ask the police or 'good upstanding citizens', then the mafia was evil. And if one were to ask the Vongola and their allies, then Byakuran and Millefiore were evil. Xanxus wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi dead so he could take over the Vongola. Master wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi's body so he could take over the world and send it into Chaos. Byakuran wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi dead so he could remake the world into something better. All selfish needs, and yet all with the same basic design. What Fran can't understand is why they're all so different to everyone else. It's simple, all just a matter of perspective. ]
You've never actually been happy, have you? Or does that not even matter to you? You can die, so you're obviously human. I kinda wonder, when did you stop caring?
[ Enemy to the Vongola, killer of countless people. But how many people had the Vongola killed over the years? Ten generations, the most prominent crime family in the world. Millefiore was powerful by circumstance, but also brand new as far as he had heard. Could their body count even begin to add up to what the Vongola has done over the years? Somehow, Fran really doubts it.
A world crumbling around them. Isn't that how life goes? Nothing's ever as planned, and if there's a way to make things better, to make things more real, who wouldn't take the chance to attain it? Fran's certain, the large majority of people in the world would have taken the power Byakuran had and possible done even worse things with it. But the only difference between Byakuran and the rest of those who would want the chance, the difference between him and Xanxus and Master, is that he succeeded.
So again, Fran's thinking. He's curious, more than anything. Boredom probably helps as well, with nothing better to do at the moment. And it's always times when he's bored or when he has nothing better to do, that Fran doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself. ]
[Video] - PrivatesoreloserchanJanuary 22 2011, 12:51:00 UTC
[Fran says, "Thinking too much does a lot, you know? But most of the time, it does nothing at all," and Byakuran has a moment where he thinks he agrees. Fran's is a familar face; the face of the person who fooled Vindice, who delayed him by a few hours at most. He'd been irritated then - well, he'd been irritated by a lot of things back then. The day he lost his temper; he thinks he might call it that, rather than the day Byakuran lost to a child.
So Fran says thinking doesn't do much at all and Byakuran is well and set to agree. Thinking over things too much has always put him in odd moods; overly excited, overly annoyed - there's no middle ground when you think too much. Byakuran tilts his head at the message and ponders saying something.
Ah, but then then; "you've never actually been happy, have you?" and "when did you stop caring?" and Byakuran has to take a moment to stop thinking and cast Fran a surprised look, his Hitomi clutched in his hands. There's a moment where he's confused because Byakuran is never unhappy, is he? He's been sad, disappointed hurt - but even at those moments, he's never thought: "I'm unhappy."
He's never stopped caring-
But then, of course, he has. He stopped caring about people a long time ago. Seen too many things, felt too many disappointments. He can't remember the exact moment he just stopped caring - or maybe he can and perhaps he just doesn't want to remember. Memories always funny things, easily manipulated and easy to change.
He smiles now; it's not bright and overly put on like usual, but small and contemplative and a little genuine. Few people have ever called him out on these things, even fewer are still alive.]
You have green hair, like Kikyou-kun~.
[It's a fleeting observation. He chuckles and then he shrugs.]
You're quite observant, aren't you Fran? You picked all that up - most people would just see me giving the order to kill Tsunayoshi-kun~.
[Perhaps, secretly, Byakuran is a little grateful that someone can see past what is just business, to the things that are beneath. Few people ever do, after all.]
[Video] - PrivatetopxmagicianJanuary 22 2011, 13:05:21 UTC
[ Fran sees the difference there, no matter how slight it may be. He's almost mildly surprised to get such an honest answer from this man, he didn't take him for the honest type. But then, a lot of people don't take Fran for the observant type or the type to be able to read people. But that's just the thing. Fran likes reading people. Because if he can read people, then he can learn how to make it so people can't read him. That's how he made his mask, and how he makes sure no one can get through it without his permission. ]
Actually. I think his was more of an aquamarine color myself. So kinda similar, but not really.
[ Does hair color really matter? Maybe it does actually. Byakuran doesn't seem the type to say things out of place, things that don't really make much sense at all despite what a lot of people are lead to believe. That little comparison to Byakuran's right hand... Fran thinks he might just be getting somewhere with this. ]
I can be when I feel like it. And I don't really see what's so special about ordering to kill Sawada. Boss tried it before from what I've heard, and even says he'd want Sawada dead so he could take over Vongola. Varia almost killed all of them back in the day before I joined. And Master too. He tried to kill all of them and wanted to take over Sawada's body in order to take over the world. You're not really that original you know, it's kind of a running theme from what I've noticed. You were just the one to get lucky and succeed.
[ Fran's never been good of keeping his thoughts to himself. He knows though, he should probably keep his Hitomi away from other people. Just in case they happen to find this little conversation. He doesn't like having to deal with more trouble, no matter how easily he gets in it himself. ]
You really did stop caring then. I guess that's a good enough explanation of why you wanted everything gone. Nothing really mattered anymore, did it? You probably didn't even understand why. But maybe I'm wrong, and you could have known exactly why you stopped caring. Wanna tell me which it is? It's not like I have anyone to tell. Second I bring up that I spoke to you, I'd get in trouble. I'd rather not be stabbed by Master if it's all the same to you, so I'll keep this just between us.
[ Curiosity, the desire to know how the most complicated and yet simple minds work. Fran vaguely realizes on those nights that he sits and thinks and lets his mind wander... Maybe if he hadn't become a member of Varia, if he hadn't gotten roped in with Mukuro, he would have liked to go into a psychology profession. Probably criminal psychology. Normal people were annoying and boring. ]
[Video] - PrivatesoreloserchanJanuary 22 2011, 14:06:09 UTC
[The truth is this: Byakuran rarely lies. He deceives, he manipulates but he rarely every truly lies. There's a nice brutality in truth that he likes, but he knows a lie can do just as much damage. He is not an honest person, even he himself will attest to that; but he thinks honesty comes in shades of grey.]
Kikyou-kun was observant too. He didn't just see me the way other people saw me~.
[It's true; the other Wreaths saw him in a single contrasting to view to everyone else. Boss, saviour, God; Kikyou knew when to see him as a man, when to see him as a God and went to see him as someone who needed something. Shouchi - well. Shouichi had always been idealistic.
It's a surprise, that Fran gets it. Maybe it's a relief too.]
Tsunayoshi-kun wants to be a hero. He wanted to save something that just isn't worth saving~.
[There is Byakuran's honesty. He smiles.]
Do you know, when I was fifteen, I wanted to be a superhero~? I used to love those American comic books~. I had this ability then, too - you know about it, right~? Shou-chan told everyone~. I could jump worlds back then too, all because of Shou-chan~.
[He sounds wistful, nostalgic.]
Do you know how many worlds I watched, Fran~? There's possibilities, and from possibilities realities are born. There's a lot of me's, a lot you's - we're not all the same~.
[He's not entirely sure why he's telling Fran this; he just thinks it's nice, to finally say it. As though he's been waiting a long time.]
When you see so much, you start to see the things that are wrong. It starts with the surface; with politics and the like. And then you see the things under that and it goes on until you see the root of it~. You think; "I could change this."
[He laughs now.]
But you know, Fran~? People aren't worth saving. So I tried to start again; break it all apart and put it back together~. It was fun, you know~? So what if I became a little cruel; so what if I became a little bit selfish~.
At least I tried. Tsunayoshi-kun thinks he can do things the slow way, thinks he can change people~.
[Video] - PrivatetopxmagicianJanuary 22 2011, 14:27:44 UTC
[ For once in his life, Fran's quiet. For once he actually sits and listens without even his mind wandering off to the closest moving thing. Because this? This is interesting. It's truth, as far as he knows. Endless possibilities means endless corruption. Fran remembers sitting himself, and thinking a lot on the subject. Sitting and watching people, watching society crumble from the inside out. Knowing that humanity isn't worth saving, that people in general really aren't worth even a dying breath. Everyone's different, everyone changes based on luck and circumstances more than anything. And it's rarely for the better. ]
You know what? I wanna be a hero too. I wanted to be a super hero, with a really cool pose and everything. But I think there's a difference still there. I don't think the problem was that you didn't care. I think you cared too much. You wanted to make a difference, you wanted to try and see if you could erase everything that's been done and start over better, without all the previous mistakes. That's what people do when they paint you know. They destroy their work if it turned out bad and start over again.
[ Another thing he had observed in the past, such an insignificant thing to pay attention to. ]
Did I say it before? Thinking too much does a lot. But most of the time, it does nothing at all. I didn't have awesome powers like you, but I sat on the streets and watched people too. Lovers cheating. Politicians making dirty deals. Adults taking out their anger on children. Mothers killing new born infants that they never wanted. Even friends stabbing each other in the back over a little money. I did experiments sometimes too, little pranks here and there with my illusions before I joined up with Varia and Master. I'd set a trap, to see if people were really as hopeless as they seemed.
[ In those days, when there was nothing better to do than test his faith in humanity. Faith that he no longer held, that he really didn't care for. A test, a curiosity. Watching and waiting for predictable reactions, getting bored when someone didn't react as he had thought and tweaking the situation so that they or another would. Just ways to pass the time for his own morbid curiosity and continuously proving his already solid theory right. ]
Byakuran-san, I saw all that. And I didn't care. I didn't bothering thinking about it much. I accepted it, that humanity was doomed. Yeah, we're all fucked up. I figure that's just part of being human. But it sounds to me, you wanted to try and fix things. Sawada wants that too, to try and fix the world. Kinda ironic considering he works in the mafia. If he really wanted to fix things, he'd rat out the Vongola and get a straight job in the courts or as a politician or something. You can't clean anything from the underground, because the surface will always remain damaged.
[ And really, that's just how Fran likes it. He doesn't mind this broken world, this crumbling society that's caving in on itself. It keeps things interesting. ]
I don't see why you should have either. You tried, but you failed. Sawada's going to try his way, and he's going to fail too. You can't change the world, no matter how powerful you are or how 'good' you think you are. I can't see why anyone would want to. Because really, a perfect world would be boring. It's the corruption and the filth of humanity that keeps things interesting.
[Video] - PrivatesoreloserchanJanuary 22 2011, 15:04:21 UTC
[There it is; he had been wondering what it was that tied Fran to Mukuro. Where the similarities were, what exactly they they had common - and there it is. The love of chaos, the amusement in corruption. It's an endless cycle of conflict and hypocrisy that Byakuran knows that he's guilty of too. It's easy to hate and destroy but then at the same time just think it's all funny; you think you could watch humanity destroy itself forever.
But it's boring too. It becomes tiresome and boring watching the same things over and over again; Byakuran is rarely surprised by humanity anymore. A corrupt politician here, a miracle there. It's a pattern that rinses and repeats itself enough times - it's like watching an old movie you've watched a hundred times before.]
The world as it is, is boring too~.
[He thinks so, at least. Sometimes there are people who excite him. It's rare, but it happens. This place too, is exciting. This place he couldn't see into before; this place he didn't know existed. This is exciting, simply because it's new.
But the patterns are here too, he can see that already.]
I could let people destroy themselves, I think~. But then maybe I'd think they weren't doing it fast enough, or maybe I'd get bored of watching the same thing over and over~.
I think I'm a little all over the place when it comes to this, really. I like to change my mind to keep myself entertained~.
[He shrugs.]
I don't think I hate people - I don't think I hate much of anything. But something about them.. just makes me boil inside, sometimes. Because of that, I don't think I can just stay in the sidelines like you~.
You know, if Mukuro-kun didn't like irritating me so much, I think he and I could have got on~. I think it would have been nice to have more people like you in Millifiore~. Because you know, even there - they were just people with the same boring selfishness, the need for power~.
.. Haha~! I guess I got a little bit like that too, at the end~.
[Video] - PrivatetopxmagicianJanuary 22 2011, 15:27:39 UTC
[ If Fran were to think about it, it really would be easy for him to see. He knows this, that all he'd have to do is sit down and even make a few small comparisons. Master and Byakuran, they really are a lot alike. Definitely more than Master would be willing to admit, and more than likely more so even than Byakuran himself could see. Because Fran has a feeling that despite everything Byakuran is able to see, he can't see people quite as well as Fran's able to. Fran just never comments, never cares or has enough of a reason to bother commenting.
But this? This was worth his time. Because it's something he doesn't think anyone else knows, something that Byakuran's probably kept to himself because no one understood or cared to even try. Because in reality, people see in black and white. They can say they don't, and they can say they're open to anything and kind and forgiving. But that's not how things work. It's not how humanity works. And Fran knows that Sawada is no exception. And of course if Sawada isn't even an exception to this rule, then there isn't anyone who is. After all, Sawada Tsunayoshi is the biggest idiot he knows. ]
Sitting and watching is no fun. If you do nothing but watch, of course you'll get ideas. That's exactly what I meant. Instead of watching and thinking and wondering, just stop. Find a distraction. Having a short attention span helps with that. Only look back every now and then, see if you can find tiny things that weren't their before. Someone taking less time to shove a knife into their friend's kidney. Or even a woman stopping in front of a clinic and turning right back around the way she came. Things get worse rapidly, they get better gradually. Then they get even worse than they were before. It's just how things go. Always changing and drifting, but always in predictable patterns. Like the ocean.
[ Yeah, he remembers the dream still. ]
I kinda have to wonder. They say our timeline was the only one you hadn't already won. You saw yourself in other places. Other realities. You never succeeded in your goal, did you? Yeah. You beat Vongola. But you never actually got what you were really trying for, did you? I really don't think it's possible, to fix something that's already broken so badly. Even if you destroy it to start over again, it's just going to end up the same way. Yeah, you can see into other worlds. But it was going away. You're only human, you can't live forever. It all would have fallen right back into ruin, and your time would have been wasted.
[ Fran tilts his head to the side, for the first time since the conversation started his deadpanned expression shifts to a more thoughtful one. ]
You know, I've always liked waterfalls better than the ocean. They're never the same, and even if you don't look at them, they make a good background noise. Just something that you know is there, but don't have to think about it. And if you do feel like looking at it, it's never the same as it was before. Maybe you should try it sometime. Stop spending your free time on the beaches. Those are places where people think too much.
[Video] - PrivatesoreloserchanJanuary 23 2011, 16:24:29 UTC
It’s not easy to switch your brain off, you know? When it gets going it’s like a speeding train; fast and impossible to slow down. My head is always swimming with things; sometimes it’s not even my own thoughts, haha! Another Byakuran’s worries, troubles or joys get implanted and I just can’t stop thinking or comparing to my own reality~.
It used to be easy before I got this ability. Switching off, I mean. But now it’s impossible~.
[He laughs quietly; though it’s barely a laugh and more of a breathe.]
I could find a hundred distractions and I’d still be thinking about a hundred things at once~.
[It’s true. Just as true as what Fran is saying about himself and the other worlds. A billion worlds, and in most of them he had succeeded. He had his tools in his hands and yet things remained the same; he couldn’t use them. His will just simply wasn’t enough and for the longest time he couldn’t understand just what was missing. There had been moments of doubt (maybe this isn’t my destiny after all, maybe there was a level I shouldn’t have cheated on) and then there been renewed determination. Each time a Byakuran completed the trinisette, the rest would watch with eager anticipation and hoping that this one would figure it out.
And Byakuran had been the one to do it; to realise it was Uni. Uni, the girl the others had all let die early on (always sacrificing herself, stupid child), had been the only one who could full utilise the trinisette. Of course, Byakuran had failed; he had lost.
Ah, over thinking again. He smiles, his head feeling as though it might burst.]
Waterfalls, hm~? Are there waterfalls here? That doesn’t sound too bad at all~. Water always helps me calm down - I think it’s the Mare ring that did that though. Before I got it, all I did was eat marshmallows~. Now I just look at water and for a tiny second, it’s nice and peaceful up here~.
Byakuran-san. Thinking too much does a lot, you know? But most of the time, it does nothing at all.
[ One of the things Fran's always thought about, just where does the line between good and evil lie? Good guys and bad guys. If someone were to ask certain people, then Master was evil. If one were to ask the police or 'good upstanding citizens', then the mafia was evil. And if one were to ask the Vongola and their allies, then Byakuran and Millefiore were evil. Xanxus wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi dead so he could take over the Vongola. Master wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi's body so he could take over the world and send it into Chaos. Byakuran wanted Sawada Tsunayoshi dead so he could remake the world into something better. All selfish needs, and yet all with the same basic design. What Fran can't understand is why they're all so different to everyone else. It's simple, all just a matter of perspective. ]
You've never actually been happy, have you? Or does that not even matter to you? You can die, so you're obviously human. I kinda wonder, when did you stop caring?
[ Enemy to the Vongola, killer of countless people. But how many people had the Vongola killed over the years? Ten generations, the most prominent crime family in the world. Millefiore was powerful by circumstance, but also brand new as far as he had heard. Could their body count even begin to add up to what the Vongola has done over the years? Somehow, Fran really doubts it.
A world crumbling around them. Isn't that how life goes? Nothing's ever as planned, and if there's a way to make things better, to make things more real, who wouldn't take the chance to attain it? Fran's certain, the large majority of people in the world would have taken the power Byakuran had and possible done even worse things with it. But the only difference between Byakuran and the rest of those who would want the chance, the difference between him and Xanxus and Master, is that he succeeded.
So again, Fran's thinking. He's curious, more than anything. Boredom probably helps as well, with nothing better to do at the moment. And it's always times when he's bored or when he has nothing better to do, that Fran doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself. ]
Reply
So Fran says thinking doesn't do much at all and Byakuran is well and set to agree. Thinking over things too much has always put him in odd moods; overly excited, overly annoyed - there's no middle ground when you think too much. Byakuran tilts his head at the message and ponders saying something.
Ah, but then then; "you've never actually been happy, have you?" and "when did you stop caring?" and Byakuran has to take a moment to stop thinking and cast Fran a surprised look, his Hitomi clutched in his hands. There's a moment where he's confused because Byakuran is never unhappy, is he? He's been sad, disappointed hurt - but even at those moments, he's never thought: "I'm unhappy."
He's never stopped caring-
But then, of course, he has. He stopped caring about people a long time ago. Seen too many things, felt too many disappointments. He can't remember the exact moment he just stopped caring - or maybe he can and perhaps he just doesn't want to remember. Memories always funny things, easily manipulated and easy to change.
He smiles now; it's not bright and overly put on like usual, but small and contemplative and a little genuine. Few people have ever called him out on these things, even fewer are still alive.]
You have green hair, like Kikyou-kun~.
[It's a fleeting observation. He chuckles and then he shrugs.]
You're quite observant, aren't you Fran? You picked all that up - most people would just see me giving the order to kill Tsunayoshi-kun~.
[Perhaps, secretly, Byakuran is a little grateful that someone can see past what is just business, to the things that are beneath. Few people ever do, after all.]
Reply
Actually. I think his was more of an aquamarine color myself. So kinda similar, but not really.
[ Does hair color really matter? Maybe it does actually. Byakuran doesn't seem the type to say things out of place, things that don't really make much sense at all despite what a lot of people are lead to believe. That little comparison to Byakuran's right hand... Fran thinks he might just be getting somewhere with this. ]
I can be when I feel like it. And I don't really see what's so special about ordering to kill Sawada. Boss tried it before from what I've heard, and even says he'd want Sawada dead so he could take over Vongola. Varia almost killed all of them back in the day before I joined. And Master too. He tried to kill all of them and wanted to take over Sawada's body in order to take over the world. You're not really that original you know, it's kind of a running theme from what I've noticed. You were just the one to get lucky and succeed.
[ Fran's never been good of keeping his thoughts to himself. He knows though, he should probably keep his Hitomi away from other people. Just in case they happen to find this little conversation. He doesn't like having to deal with more trouble, no matter how easily he gets in it himself. ]
You really did stop caring then. I guess that's a good enough explanation of why you wanted everything gone. Nothing really mattered anymore, did it? You probably didn't even understand why. But maybe I'm wrong, and you could have known exactly why you stopped caring. Wanna tell me which it is? It's not like I have anyone to tell. Second I bring up that I spoke to you, I'd get in trouble. I'd rather not be stabbed by Master if it's all the same to you, so I'll keep this just between us.
[ Curiosity, the desire to know how the most complicated and yet simple minds work. Fran vaguely realizes on those nights that he sits and thinks and lets his mind wander... Maybe if he hadn't become a member of Varia, if he hadn't gotten roped in with Mukuro, he would have liked to go into a psychology profession. Probably criminal psychology. Normal people were annoying and boring. ]
Reply
Kikyou-kun was observant too. He didn't just see me the way other people saw me~.
[It's true; the other Wreaths saw him in a single contrasting to view to everyone else. Boss, saviour, God; Kikyou knew when to see him as a man, when to see him as a God and went to see him as someone who needed something. Shouchi - well. Shouichi had always been idealistic.
It's a surprise, that Fran gets it. Maybe it's a relief too.]
Tsunayoshi-kun wants to be a hero. He wanted to save something that just isn't worth saving~.
[There is Byakuran's honesty. He smiles.]
Do you know, when I was fifteen, I wanted to be a superhero~? I used to love those American comic books~. I had this ability then, too - you know about it, right~? Shou-chan told everyone~. I could jump worlds back then too, all because of Shou-chan~.
[He sounds wistful, nostalgic.]
Do you know how many worlds I watched, Fran~? There's possibilities, and from possibilities realities are born. There's a lot of me's, a lot you's - we're not all the same~.
[He's not entirely sure why he's telling Fran this; he just thinks it's nice, to finally say it. As though he's been waiting a long time.]
When you see so much, you start to see the things that are wrong. It starts with the surface; with politics and the like. And then you see the things under that and it goes on until you see the root of it~. You think; "I could change this."
[He laughs now.]
But you know, Fran~? People aren't worth saving. So I tried to start again; break it all apart and put it back together~. It was fun, you know~? So what if I became a little cruel; so what if I became a little bit selfish~.
At least I tried. Tsunayoshi-kun thinks he can do things the slow way, thinks he can change people~.
[He pauses and shrugs.]
I just don't see why he should.
Reply
You know what? I wanna be a hero too. I wanted to be a super hero, with a really cool pose and everything. But I think there's a difference still there. I don't think the problem was that you didn't care. I think you cared too much. You wanted to make a difference, you wanted to try and see if you could erase everything that's been done and start over better, without all the previous mistakes. That's what people do when they paint you know. They destroy their work if it turned out bad and start over again.
[ Another thing he had observed in the past, such an insignificant thing to pay attention to. ]
Did I say it before? Thinking too much does a lot. But most of the time, it does nothing at all. I didn't have awesome powers like you, but I sat on the streets and watched people too. Lovers cheating. Politicians making dirty deals. Adults taking out their anger on children. Mothers killing new born infants that they never wanted. Even friends stabbing each other in the back over a little money. I did experiments sometimes too, little pranks here and there with my illusions before I joined up with Varia and Master. I'd set a trap, to see if people were really as hopeless as they seemed.
[ In those days, when there was nothing better to do than test his faith in humanity. Faith that he no longer held, that he really didn't care for. A test, a curiosity. Watching and waiting for predictable reactions, getting bored when someone didn't react as he had thought and tweaking the situation so that they or another would. Just ways to pass the time for his own morbid curiosity and continuously proving his already solid theory right. ]
Byakuran-san, I saw all that. And I didn't care. I didn't bothering thinking about it much. I accepted it, that humanity was doomed. Yeah, we're all fucked up. I figure that's just part of being human. But it sounds to me, you wanted to try and fix things. Sawada wants that too, to try and fix the world. Kinda ironic considering he works in the mafia. If he really wanted to fix things, he'd rat out the Vongola and get a straight job in the courts or as a politician or something. You can't clean anything from the underground, because the surface will always remain damaged.
[ And really, that's just how Fran likes it. He doesn't mind this broken world, this crumbling society that's caving in on itself. It keeps things interesting. ]
I don't see why you should have either. You tried, but you failed. Sawada's going to try his way, and he's going to fail too. You can't change the world, no matter how powerful you are or how 'good' you think you are. I can't see why anyone would want to. Because really, a perfect world would be boring. It's the corruption and the filth of humanity that keeps things interesting.
Reply
But it's boring too. It becomes tiresome and boring watching the same things over and over again; Byakuran is rarely surprised by humanity anymore. A corrupt politician here, a miracle there. It's a pattern that rinses and repeats itself enough times - it's like watching an old movie you've watched a hundred times before.]
The world as it is, is boring too~.
[He thinks so, at least. Sometimes there are people who excite him. It's rare, but it happens. This place too, is exciting. This place he couldn't see into before; this place he didn't know existed. This is exciting, simply because it's new.
But the patterns are here too, he can see that already.]
I could let people destroy themselves, I think~. But then maybe I'd think they weren't doing it fast enough, or maybe I'd get bored of watching the same thing over and over~.
I think I'm a little all over the place when it comes to this, really. I like to change my mind to keep myself entertained~.
[He shrugs.]
I don't think I hate people - I don't think I hate much of anything. But something about them.. just makes me boil inside, sometimes. Because of that, I don't think I can just stay in the sidelines like you~.
You know, if Mukuro-kun didn't like irritating me so much, I think he and I could have got on~. I think it would have been nice to have more people like you in Millifiore~. Because you know, even there - they were just people with the same boring selfishness, the need for power~.
.. Haha~! I guess I got a little bit like that too, at the end~.
Reply
But this? This was worth his time. Because it's something he doesn't think anyone else knows, something that Byakuran's probably kept to himself because no one understood or cared to even try. Because in reality, people see in black and white. They can say they don't, and they can say they're open to anything and kind and forgiving. But that's not how things work. It's not how humanity works. And Fran knows that Sawada is no exception. And of course if Sawada isn't even an exception to this rule, then there isn't anyone who is. After all, Sawada Tsunayoshi is the biggest idiot he knows. ]
Sitting and watching is no fun. If you do nothing but watch, of course you'll get ideas. That's exactly what I meant. Instead of watching and thinking and wondering, just stop. Find a distraction. Having a short attention span helps with that. Only look back every now and then, see if you can find tiny things that weren't their before. Someone taking less time to shove a knife into their friend's kidney. Or even a woman stopping in front of a clinic and turning right back around the way she came. Things get worse rapidly, they get better gradually. Then they get even worse than they were before. It's just how things go. Always changing and drifting, but always in predictable patterns. Like the ocean.
[ Yeah, he remembers the dream still. ]
I kinda have to wonder. They say our timeline was the only one you hadn't already won. You saw yourself in other places. Other realities. You never succeeded in your goal, did you? Yeah. You beat Vongola. But you never actually got what you were really trying for, did you? I really don't think it's possible, to fix something that's already broken so badly. Even if you destroy it to start over again, it's just going to end up the same way. Yeah, you can see into other worlds. But it was going away. You're only human, you can't live forever. It all would have fallen right back into ruin, and your time would have been wasted.
[ Fran tilts his head to the side, for the first time since the conversation started his deadpanned expression shifts to a more thoughtful one. ]
You know, I've always liked waterfalls better than the ocean. They're never the same, and even if you don't look at them, they make a good background noise. Just something that you know is there, but don't have to think about it. And if you do feel like looking at it, it's never the same as it was before. Maybe you should try it sometime. Stop spending your free time on the beaches. Those are places where people think too much.
Reply
It used to be easy before I got this ability. Switching off, I mean. But now it’s impossible~.
[He laughs quietly; though it’s barely a laugh and more of a breathe.]
I could find a hundred distractions and I’d still be thinking about a hundred things at once~.
[It’s true. Just as true as what Fran is saying about himself and the other worlds. A billion worlds, and in most of them he had succeeded. He had his tools in his hands and yet things remained the same; he couldn’t use them. His will just simply wasn’t enough and for the longest time he couldn’t understand just what was missing. There had been moments of doubt (maybe this isn’t my destiny after all, maybe there was a level I shouldn’t have cheated on) and then there been renewed determination. Each time a Byakuran completed the trinisette, the rest would watch with eager anticipation and hoping that this one would figure it out.
And Byakuran had been the one to do it; to realise it was Uni. Uni, the girl the others had all let die early on (always sacrificing herself, stupid child), had been the only one who could full utilise the trinisette. Of course, Byakuran had failed; he had lost.
Ah, over thinking again. He smiles, his head feeling as though it might burst.]
Waterfalls, hm~? Are there waterfalls here? That doesn’t sound too bad at all~. Water always helps me calm down - I think it’s the Mare ring that did that though. Before I got it, all I did was eat marshmallows~. Now I just look at water and for a tiny second, it’s nice and peaceful up here~.
[He taps his temple, grinning.]
For a second, haha~.
Reply
Leave a comment