[ Video - Private to Roy and Riza ] Backdated to Week 15, Day 1, late evening

[equivalentfaith]

[He doesn't mean to engage the video function when he contacts Mustang and Hawkeye, but he can't be bothered to change it when it's already on. Even though he's taken several hours to try to cool down, the anger in Ed's face is obvious. He's practically shaking from it, and of a lack of satisfying way to vent

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[reaction --> video]

[firebornfidelis]

[ So he had heard about it, too. The impossible. People coming back to life. She pays close enough attention to the network to have noticed the talk, the people who were said to have come back from the dead.

She can't really imagine how he feels, though she can take a guess from his face that it is very not good. To be presented with something, with a thing as huge as life returned to those who had lost it handed out so casually here when he himself had spent every moment since his failed attempt to bring his mother back from the dead paying for the sin... It must be maddening.

And again - as usual if she's honest with herself - she can do nothing about it. Nothing she can say will make it better or easier or even a little less awful. ]

Edward...

[ There isn't really anything she can say. ]

[video]

[equivalentfaith]

[What can he say? Normally, he'd say he's fine. It's fine. Nothing's wrong. But this?

No...everything's wrong. Everything, everything he was ever taught, the things he learned the hard way. Equivalent Exchange, All is One, One is All.

Everything, crumbling around his ankles.]

...Yeah.

[snapandspark]

[Roy had heard and he still couldn't believe it was possible. Then again giant walking trees, zombies and a lot of those other creatures surely didn't make much sense either.

And it burns his blood like an angry fire, as if he's burning himself alive. Lives aren't to be toyed with. Death is permanent, it should remain that way. It's forbidden to even dream of the return of those who passed on, because it leads to situations like Ed's arm and leg and Al's body.

But Roy learned all too recently what it was like to allow anger and pain to consume his mind. Sorrow. Hate. What good does it do them to feel such things now. What does a scientist do? He doesn't waste his time getting worked up. He uses that time to disprove it and if he can't, doesn't he try to take it apart and see how it works? How else did human alchemy become forbidden?]

Is that all? [It's not kind, but damn it, Ed, he can't have you losing it over this.]

[equivalentfaith]

[Is that all. Is that all, he says, as if this one thing isn't enough to shatter everything that makes the laws of alchemy, of the entire world, even. He says it as if there's something more that can be said. As if the world isn't crumbling down.]

What the hell do you mean is that all?!

[It's a bit too late to prevent it--he's already deep into "losing it" territory. The response comes out half as a yell and half a shriek.]

What else is there to fuck up anymore? There isn't...there...

[The crash from that high of yelling and shrieking is spectacular. His voice cracks and he can't find the words with which to finish the sentence. He's dangerously close to breaking down and sobbing.

The truth of the matter is that he's afraid. While there was always something impossible, he could focus on what could be done and keep moving forward. But here...that one, final frontier was crossed. If they could bring back the dead...then...then it had to mean they were really gods. There was no other explanation. There was no alchemy that could

[snapandspark]

So you're going to throw your hands up? [It sucks. He knows. They, as alchemists, know death is one way and to break that taboo takes everything apart. It destroys families, friends, hopes and dreams. Ed wouldn't be a military dog if he hadn't dived into it. Al would have his body. He knows it isn't right or fair. But what good does it do them now?

Roy wants to know how. He wants to know how and why and if he can take this back. If it's possible to bring back the dead... that train of thought stops right there. He shouldn't be thinking about this...]

Sorry, kid. Life stopped making sense the day I found you in that house with those stumps of an arm and leg.

[equivalentfaith]

What the fuck is the point? They're really...they're really gods, dammit! Nothing human can ressurect the dead