[accidental video | week 15 | day 1] I turned to kiss your cheek, your body was grieving~
[All the screen shows at first is the sky; off-screen, all one can hear is heavy breathing, slowly becoming faster and faster, until it's borderline hyperventilation-]
ALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN-!
[The scream is shrill, high-pitched, and still full of agonized fear. It's obvious the girl making the noise is terrified beyond belief. This isn't ( Read more... )
Well. Because he's going to protect his friends no matter what, but that's not enough of an answer. Part of it, but not all of it. Because they were important, but... maybe it's a little unpopular... but without the akuma but with the Noah, with the uncertainty... with the Earl appeared briefly and then vanished with everything else from that week like a phantom... With knowing this where he is now, for better or worse?
It's like being set adrift with a dark passenger of helmsman you'd rather throw overboard.
(If that time comes, please kill me.)
Despite the last days of going through the motions, the smiling until it is better, of not wanting to worry the others, not wanting to tell them what he did... What he'll still do. With even this, he'll step across that threshold and say "I'm home" with a smile because it's something tangible, something real and something to connect with; something to keep the others further from the darkness. ... But he can't shake the feeling that this time that's running out is his own. And that's not giving up; it's the last thing, but...
(But it won't happen that way. ... I'll stop him, you'll see.)
And because of that he has to swallow and close his eye for a moment; compose, grit his teeth a little, and move on. Right now, right now, this is all he can do. Move forward. Stumble and not know where he's going anymore maybe, but it's something he can do.
It's all he can ever do.
Regardless, there was a nagging guilt at leaving the Hitomi in his pocket. For what it's worth... it's not as simple as sorry or not. But for as clear as his intentions still are, he never wanted it to turn out this way, Road. Even to Noah, even to someone who had killed his friend, for horrible things he can't forgive... it is as simple as you didn't deserve this. It's not sorry, exactly... but it is an aching regret.
What was that she had said, about sinners and saints?
...Some might say he's a saint that's sinned, Road, but he doesn't feel much like a saint at all.
Or that he ever was. ]
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