[week 12 - day 6] - video
[The hitomi blinks, resolving into a picture with a flutter of static. When it clears, a face is peering out, framed in a loose track jacket and some unnaturally-pleased bamboo. It's a face some might recognise; it looks like it could be nice enough if it tried-or more than nice: brown eyes, brown hair, fine, sharp features like a clever bird's.
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Oh, no. I mean... [She smiles, stalling for a moment as she tries to think of how to explain it. It's a little too embarrassing to just say, especially if this isn't even the right person. Lenalee isn’t quite sure how the conversation managed to take place at all. The voice had been… charismatic. Comforting and anonymous. It was the only way that she could have imagined talking to anyone about a dream like that.]
[But while thinking back on the dream and its aftermath leaves her at a loss for words, it also reminds her of why she’s certain to recognize that voice. It was unique. This man sounds a little less certain, but there’s still that underlying tone. That calm note, as if nothing fazes him.]
Your voice is familiar. Someone talked to me, once, after I had a dream- but I never saw his face. I had thought that it might be you. Did you just get here?
[That much is clear, if he’s calling the Hitomi a “box.” Still, that doesn’t rule out the possibility that it was him; people have gone and come back with no memory of Kannagara before. It just makes her wonder if it was a good idea to say anything at all.]
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[He'd be surprised if this girl has a lie in her that he couldn't detect, and what she's saying matches the things he already knows. There are no loopholes. Each word from her confirms his impression that she knows nothing important, and yet her dreams have clearly interested not only him, but the fake that was here before. What had he been thinking?]
[A useful weapon, perhaps? General camouflage? Something to do in the middle of a boring night? - and as he thinks that last, his mind doesn't go anywhere near where most boys his age would send it. The thoughts zip through his mind in an eyeblink, as his quick smile fades.]
I did just get here. I'm sorry to have to disappoint you.
[And that's when he does tap the little privacy control.]
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I'm sorry about that. I feel a little strange about this.
It seems as if there was - a version of me - here before. But I'm as sure as I can be that I've never seen this place.
[After all, girls are easy to sway. He's as sure as he can be that most of them would give him the world just for a smile.]
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Sorry, it was a strange way to introduce myself. I'm Lenalee, by the way.
[She's a little surprised by the sudden change to private, but goes along with it. He seems unsure, and that's certainly to be expected. But, there's something else. Hard to quantify or put a name to, but there. Like how she knows when Allen's smiles are fake, even if they look perfectly genuine. Like the feeling she used to always have when talking with Lavi. As if everything is perfectly crafted, but there is still a sense of wrongness there.]
[She pushes it aside, for now.]
That's happened here before. Sometimes people get pulled here and return to their world, but then come back. I've seen it happen to a few people; some remember their time here, and some don't. [She flashes him a reassuring smile.] I know that it's confusing, but you should try not to worry too much about whatever happened here before. I’d be happy to help you if you need anything.
[He helped her, after all; even if he doesn’t remember it. It’s only fair.]
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No, maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. But I'm pleased to meet you again, Lenalee. Or I suppose it's the first time, really, isn't it? My name's Light.
[And the eyes he's turned on the hitomi are wide and innocent, and earnest as hell. Oh dear.]
I hope you don't mind me locking this. I find I feel a little strange about this subject. It's not nice, to know you've forgotten something so important. It's as if part of me's missing. Wouldn't you worry about it, if it were you? [What he wants to know is whether this is something she has firsthand knowledge of. She seems to know a great deal about it.]
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I'm glad to meet you too.
[She hadn't wanted to ever meet him at the time, but it's long ago enough now that Lenalee is glad to have a face to go with the voice.]
No, I understand. It must be awful. I only meant that it isn't just you, it has happened before. I guess that might not be much comfort.
Maybe you could try talking to people who knew you before, if you want to know what happened? It's not really the same, but if people recognize you then they'll probably try contacting you, if they haven’t already.
[Lenalee tries to make a habit of not looking at other people’s conversations unless she really needs to, even if she has the ability to do so. It feels like an invasion of privacy that she’s not entirely comfortable with, despite the fact that people could always make it a private exchange.]
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[Right now, Kannagara's newest god nods into the hitomi, lips pursed with concern that's almost real.] I hope they will.
Do you happen to know what determines whether someone remembers, or not? [He tucks a lock of hair behind his ear, with a nervous laugh.] I'd hate to think it was something I did wrong.
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As far as I can tell, it's random. I don't think that it was a punishment.
[She's quiet for a moment, considering her words carefully, before continuing.]
Someone I spoke with before thought that it happened because there are places that the powers here don't have as much control over, where the fabric between worlds is frayed. People might be getting back by accident.
I don't have any proof to back that up, but I have no idea why people would intentionally be sent back home only to be brought back here again.
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[He nods quietly, not quite looking into the camera, thinking it over.] It suggests it's no difficulty for - the powers that bring us here? [It's a question, though he's heard them referred to as "gods" already.] They can bring people here, or return them, on a whim. To segregate them, perhaps.
The people who remembered, they came back the same as they left? They weren't different?
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I talked to a woman here, once. One of the beings calling herself a god. [There’s a derisive sound at that.] She indicated that it took more than one of them to bring someone here, but it didn’t seem to be a matter of power. More based on... politics, I guess. It seems that they can bring anyone they want without much trouble.
The people who remembered… [She can’t help but wince here, voice slightly hushed.] They can come back changed.
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Did you ever visit a funhouse, Lenalee? Those mirrors - [he gestures with one finger, a graceful line sketched up and down] - that distort what you see? It was like that. Me, certainly, but - not me. Things I'd never do or say. Things that could cause real problems for me, if I'm unlucky. [And right now, he even believes it. He hasn't been in Kannagara long.]
So when you say "changed" - [and he's acting as well as he ever has, because the need to know is his own, and it's consuming him] - what do you mean?
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[She says it quietly, avoiding his eyes. But that isn't the point. She can understand what he means, and it gives her pause. Is he that much of a different person now? To the point where he would have acted in completely different ways? That doesn't add up with what she knows.]
It isn't something that would affect you, it was... a personal matter.
When people go back, they seem to arrive right where they left from, and even if it seems like they're only gone a little while here, months can pass for them. A lot can happen in that time, is all I meant; people can come back changed from the experience.
Is that what you meant?
[She has a feeling that it isn't.]
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[His own eyes drop, and he sighs, as if in disappointment.] I shouldn't even be getting into this with you. We don't know each other, and I'm imposing on you.
[Surprise: he hasn't answered her question. What he hopes is that she'll feel bad enough to answer his.]
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But for you... it seems like you were a different person, when you were here before?
[Lenalee didn't know that you could look back that far on the Hitomi- she assumes that's how Light knows at all, anyway, unless he's just been talking to people. She's never had the need to look back on old messages.]
I'm sorry, I wish that I had known you well enough to say.
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I don't know. [It's harder to say than usual; his face feels tense with it. He's not usually insecure in that way, but today he's been confronted with just how much it's possible for him not to know.] Perhaps it's just - nobody likes their own reflection, do they? [Though Light is quite taken with his own.] Or their own voice, recorded? Perhaps it's just that. Things we don't like in ourselves. I - I don't know how long he was here. I don't know what might have happened to him.
To me. [His eyes flick back up. If this keeps going badly, he thinks, he'll have to excuse himself.]
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It must be terrible. I'm sorry, I wish that there was a way to make it better. But I think... you'll settle. Not into this place, but into the person you are here. It won't feel like looking at a stranger in your body for long, once you live here for a little while. [She lets out a short laugh.] If I'm making any sense?
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