[The feed turns on , a large tree visible before the screen moves to display a face that would be familiar to quite a few residents. There's a quiet exhalation before the woman manages a weak smile to hide her concerned expression. This wasn't where she'd fallen asleep and nothing looked remotely familiar.]
I don't recall leaving the house and yet
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It's impossible.
With every passing minute it is getting harder and harder for Rukia to believe that the universe does not hate her. She has been yanked into this new place full of strange new rules. She is off-balance, stumbling behind everyone else because she has no idea what is going on. And she hates that feeling. Has always hated it. And today, she can't seem to get away from it.
And now, this face. This person who she can only ever remember having seen in that one picture. Never in person. Never alive. Her sister, Hisana. Who is dead. Who has been dead for years. She should not be here, speaking.
She squeezes her eyes shut. She doesn't even know how to feel. Her head is spinning violently with anger and sadness and hope and fear and love and a thousand other things. She rubs her hand across her eyes, to ease the stinging because she had never ever hoped to see her sister alive again and now that she could. She had no idea what to say. Or what to do or even how to address her.
It has been a very hard day ( ... )
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Hisana...sama. Is it really you?
[Her voice is ragged and she already wants to kick herself for how childish her question is, how stupid that pause in her name. She doesn't think her sister can recognize just her voice and she prefers it this way for the moment.]
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It is, but...is something wrong?
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[She pauses, unsure, with her hand over the switch that will change the feed to video. It would be easier than trying to explain. Rukia new at least her sister could not mistake her face. They looked so much alike...
But she hovers, not certain she wants this. Not sure it's real. Not sure what to do or say to the sister who left her on the streets of Rukongai when she was only a baby.
But ultimately, she must push forward. Going back is no longer an option. She switches the video on to show her face, still so uncertain.]
It's me. Rukia.
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[When the video came on, Hisana drew in a sharp breath, a pained expression crossing her face before she manages to hide it.]
Rukia...
[The name slides from her lips unbidden before she goes quiet, trying to quiet the wave of guilt and shame that filled her.]
I... [ Hisana cut herself off. What could she say that would do anything to make up for her selfish actions, anyway? Rukia had survived, no thanks to her, but seeing her again at least gave Hisana a small sense of relief. Her sister had survived and that was all that mattered, right now.]
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I became a shinigami. And Byakuya nii-sama took me in.
[Because these are things she thinks Hisana would want to know. And she isn't sure why she's making even this weak attempt at consoling her sister. But, even after everything that she'd gone through, she couldn't help feeling something for this woman, this sister she's never known.]
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I'm so glad...you were able to become his family, Rukia. I... [ The words caught in her throat and she lifted a hand to her eyes. ]
You both deserved so much more than I was able to give you...
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[But I would have rather had you. I would have rather grown up holding your hand. I would have rather had my sister. I would rather have been loved.
Rukia takes a deep breath and struggles to keep her face impassive.]
Nii-sama told me... you looked for me.
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I asked him not to tell you. You...deserved a better sister than one who would just leave you behind to save her own life, Rukia. You... I'm glad you survived, and got to grow up, even though I did that to you...
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[She's trying so hard. Trying not to be a child, not to be petulant. Not to be angry. Not to cry from frustration and sadness.]
Why? Didn't you think I deserved to know about you? Didn't you think I had a right to know I had a sister?
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[She glances away guiltily, but there is more pain on her face than anger.]
I... I'm sorry. That was terribly rude of me. I didn't mean to, I just... I don't know what to say to you.
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[A quiet sigh.] No, I deserved that. I deserve the anger. It wasn't a fair choice for me to make but I didn't want... If I'd been able to find you before my illness progressed that far, it would have... been different.
I should be apologizing to you, not the other way around.
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How would it have been different? What would you have done if you had found me?
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I'm sorry.
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I've met you now.
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