[ { Something isn't right, alright. Something is, in fact, very wrong; you see, the entire purpose of the worth of life has vanished into thin air, and Yubel does not know where that thin air even is. Juudai is gone. His body is still here - obviously, it's what Yubel is moving and living in right now - but he, the warm comforting center of the world, is gone.
Not gone. He can't be gone. Juudai can't not be. It's impossible. Yubel is alive. Yubel is, at this moment; therefore Juudai must exist somewhere, and wherever that somewhere is, Yubel will find it. Find it. Yes. Yubel has to find it. That's the only important thing right now.
The beach. The dream-thing took place at the beach. That's where Yubel will start. }
Whoops, Johan, did you say something? Because Juudai just abruptly jumped out of the bed and is now half-running right past you, straight out the door, as if you are not even there. He hasn't even put shoes on. He hasn't even put clothes on (he sleeps in Kuriboh-print boxers, by the way.)
Oh, and you might only catch it as a glimpse, but there's something about his expression... something tough to put a finger on. You know, besides his eyes being completely wrong. ]
Johan catches "Juudai" by the arm almost reflexively on his way out to stop him, giving him a look of confusion. This is more than a little weird... he only catches a split-second glimpse of the expression on his face, and his eyes, despite that their gazes don't meet yet. But there's something wrong. It's not... his, is it?
No, but how can that be? That's stupid, Juudai is Juudai...]
[ { At the best of times, Johan, Yubel tolerates you. Even, perhaps, likes you, in the sense that you are incredibly important to Juudai and are therefore to be approved of, regardless of past history. However, this is not the best of times, and Yubel is not in a tolerant mood. } ]
Let go of me.
[ Well... Juudai's never been one to use "boku." Or to sound so very... that way. He turns and snaps: ]
[And then their eyes meet, and he knows instantly from the chill that assaults his core at seeing those same eyes.
That's not Juudai.
What he doesn't know is the how or why. What is she doing, using his body? It's not right, it doesn't make sense, it can't be--]
Yubel...
[Because he doesn't know what happened. He's missing something. He doesn't like to be missing anything, especially when it means Juudai's not himself because of it... that he could be in the exact same situation Johan himself was in.
He won't tolerate that. It's the only thing he can conclude right now.
Spinning Yubel towards him, he grabs the shoulders of his best friend firmly, suddenly allowing an uncharacteristically enraged expression to darken his features. He's raising his voice, for that matter.]
What did you do with Juudai?! If you're doing the same thing to him you did to me, I swear to every last god in this place and then some, I'll--!!
[If you think Hell Kaiser is in a permanent bad mood normally, then you've never seen him when he's been interrupted from his sleeping. He yanks his door open and steps out into the hallway, arms folded over his chest and glaring. All that he sees is Juudai and Johan yelling at each other. From his position, he can't quite see Juudai's eyes. Not yet, anyway.]
Take it outside. I am trying to sleep.
[By the way, he wears black boxers to sleep in. With little skulls on them. Since he normally never sets foot outside of his room without being dressed, these are not normally seen. Until now.]
[ { All of these peoplepeoplepeople here, why do they keep coming, why don't they understand how broken everything is right now, where is Juudai -
Calm. Calm down. Yubel is better now. Yubel doesn't think in circles anymore, the way it used to be back Before, before they had become one - back when certain thoughts were tiny silverwhite razorwires that cut and cut and cut when touched, and one had to learn how to carefully ride them down and back out again to keep them from slicing everything to ribbons - no, Yubel is better now, is whole now -
but that's the thing, that's the problem, Juudai is the everything, the all, the arms that hold the world in place, the calm that blocks out the storm, and if he is not here, then what if - what if - Yubel doesn't want to go back to how it used to be, the pain and the cutting thoughts that had to be dealt with just so to calm them again - no no no nononono why isn't he here, where is - }
Juudai - or Yubel, once you figure it out, runs hands through his hair; grips it tightly until his knuckles turn white and his fists shake and tremble. ]
He's not here. [ Whispered - hissed, really. ] He's not here. Where is he? I can't find him. He's not here...
[A quick, halfhearted acknowledgment of Kaiser:] Sorry. I just-- dammit, we're kind of having an emergency right now...
[His expression turns slightly less dark and more muddled suddenly. He notices that she seems to be freaking out as much as he is, but... how can he not, when all he's known of her is that she does things like that to people? His grip tightens frustratedly.]
...Yubel. Explain what's going on.
[Johan sounds less obviously stricken by panic now, but still firm, even a little cold, despite the fact that his voice has lowered considerably. There's an unspoken demand of "now" at the end there that he forces himself to bite back.]
[He doesn't see what's such an emergency. It's just Juudai, isn't it? He steps outward some more, a slight frown forming between his eyes, and as he moves, he's able to see what's going on a little better.
To be more specific, he can see Juudai's eyes now. Or what should be Juudai's eyes and are not. Nor was that Juudai's name that Johan said. This is definitely a stranger situation than he first thought. He raises one eyebrow for a moment.]
Yubel? [Not so much calling her as he is asking "who the hell is Yubel?" And why does he feel like he should go get his deck and have an awesome final duel against the both of them now?]
[ { Breathe, breathe, breathe; Johan-the-thief-liar-betrayer wants an explanation and maybe he should get one, but explaining -
explaining means that Juudai is gone, Juudai is not here, and he promised, he promised, hepromisedhepromisedhepromised he'd never leave again; it's that all over again with all the old razorwire thoughts coming back:
(if he loved you, why would he leave you?) (if he loved you, why would he hurt you?) (if he loved you, why?) (if he loved you?) (if?)
(but he promised, he promised, he promised, he promised)
he
promised. } ]
What's going on? What's going on?
[ { Break the chains. Break the spirals. Break the thoughts. If Yubel lets them keep going, they will never stop, never ever, not even in sleep. Doing things mutes them. Speaking drowns them out. }
Juudai - that is to say, Yubel - grabs Johan's shirt, gripping hard. ]
He's gone. Juudai is gone, Johan Andersen. I don't know where he is. I don't know. I have to find him. That is what's going on.
[ A smile that is less a smile and more of a threat display - all teeth and determination and hidden, hidden fear. ]
[Johan's hands move to grab Yubel's and wrench them away from his collar, decidedly uncomfortably.]
Yeah, I gathered that much. So what are you doing in his body?!
[He makes a disgusted face, despite the sour sarcasm of his first remark. There's gotta be a logical explanation for this, right? So he's not letting Yubel go until he gets it, no matter how much venom she spews at him for it.]
[Well, this is getting more and more confusing by the moment. So, Ryou will stand there with his arms over his chest and glowering in a general sort of way, listening for an explanation as well.]
[ { Trapped, trapped here with the strong one (Yubel had always liked Kaiser) and him and no Juudai. This is terrible everything is terrible, why don't they understand - ? } ]
I live here.
[ Yubel throws the words at him like blunt objects. ]
This is my home.
[ { Let him puzzle that out. It's not like he shouldn't know. It's all out now. } ]
[He looks at Yubel, uncomprehending. The words don't make sense to him. It feels awful, but they just don't. "Live there"? How? Juudai couldn't have--
And then, an idea starts sprouting in the back of his mind. When his expression morphs into something more horrified than perplexed, it's obvious what he's considering.
[The work Asuka has been doing is far more physical than anything she is used to back home, and as such when she returns from it she usually sleeps very deeply and soundly.
Now, though, the sound of the three boys she lives with is enough to wake even the dead, and with a flash of confused irritation she awakens to the sound of shouting. Slipping out of bed, she completely forgets that the only sleepwear she had in her carry on bag was a rather lacy and pink nightgown her brother had somehow slipped into it, and pads over to open the door and poke her head out]
What is going on? Juudai, Johan, do you realize what time it i-
[Something is wrong. It takes one look at their faces to wake her tired mind up, and she straightens with a serious expression] What's happened?
[Hell Kaiser glances over toward Asuka when she speaks up and makes a quick 'be quiet' motion. This is fascinating to him, even if he doesn't quite understand everything just yet. Who is this Yubel and what is their connection to Juudai? And if Juudai's not in his own body, then indeed, where is he?
[action] /throws hands in the air regarding iconssternitfortemJune 20 2011, 03:27:41 UTC
[ { Well, hasn't this turned into a fine three-ring circus. Hell Kaiser Ryo from his glory days, Johan Andersen with the truth just beginning to dawn, and poor Tenjoin Asuka walking in on it with no idea what is happening. If Yubel were in a better state right now, it would seem extremely hilarious. } ]
You get it, don't you... [ Hissed - almost purred at Johan's expression, because really, it is extremely satisfying to see that look on his face. There will be repercussions later, perhaps even guilt or remorse, but right now Yubel is simply looking to regain control of something. Anything. ] It's me. He chose me.
Not gone. He can't be gone. Juudai can't not be. It's impossible. Yubel is alive. Yubel is, at this moment; therefore Juudai must exist somewhere, and wherever that somewhere is, Yubel will find it. Find it. Yes. Yubel has to find it. That's the only important thing right now.
The beach. The dream-thing took place at the beach. That's where Yubel will start. }
Whoops, Johan, did you say something? Because Juudai just abruptly jumped out of the bed and is now half-running right past you, straight out the door, as if you are not even there. He hasn't even put shoes on. He hasn't even put clothes on (he sleeps in Kuriboh-print boxers, by the way.)
Oh, and you might only catch it as a glimpse, but there's something about his expression... something tough to put a finger on. You know, besides his eyes being completely wrong. ]
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Johan catches "Juudai" by the arm almost reflexively on his way out to stop him, giving him a look of confusion. This is more than a little weird... he only catches a split-second glimpse of the expression on his face, and his eyes, despite that their gazes don't meet yet. But there's something wrong. It's not... his, is it?
No, but how can that be? That's stupid, Juudai is Juudai...]
Uh, are you... feeling okay there?
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Let go of me.
[ Well... Juudai's never been one to use "boku." Or to sound so very... that way. He turns and snaps: ]
I have to find him, you stupid child! Let go!
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That's not Juudai.
What he doesn't know is the how or why. What is she doing, using his body? It's not right, it doesn't make sense, it can't be--]
Yubel...
[Because he doesn't know what happened. He's missing something. He doesn't like to be missing anything, especially when it means Juudai's not himself because of it... that he could be in the exact same situation Johan himself was in.
He won't tolerate that. It's the only thing he can conclude right now.
Spinning Yubel towards him, he grabs the shoulders of his best friend firmly, suddenly allowing an uncharacteristically enraged expression to darken his features. He's raising his voice, for that matter.]
What did you do with Juudai?! If you're doing the same thing to him you did to me, I swear to every last god in this place and then some, I'll--!!
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Take it outside. I am trying to sleep.
[By the way, he wears black boxers to sleep in. With little skulls on them. Since he normally never sets foot outside of his room without being dressed, these are not normally seen. Until now.]
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Calm. Calm down. Yubel is better now. Yubel doesn't think in circles anymore, the way it used to be back Before, before they had become one - back when certain thoughts were tiny silverwhite razorwires that cut and cut and cut when touched, and one had to learn how to carefully ride them down and back out again to keep them from slicing everything to ribbons - no, Yubel is better now, is whole now -
but that's the thing, that's the problem, Juudai is the everything, the all, the arms that hold the world in place, the calm that blocks out the storm, and if he is not here, then what if - what if - Yubel doesn't want to go back to how it used to be, the pain and the cutting thoughts that had to be dealt with just so to calm them again - no no no nononono why isn't he here, where is - }
Juudai - or Yubel, once you figure it out, runs hands through his hair; grips it tightly until his knuckles turn white and his fists shake and tremble. ]
He's not here. [ Whispered - hissed, really. ] He's not here. Where is he? I can't find him. He's not here...
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[His expression turns slightly less dark and more muddled suddenly. He notices that she seems to be freaking out as much as he is, but... how can he not, when all he's known of her is that she does things like that to people? His grip tightens frustratedly.]
...Yubel. Explain what's going on.
[Johan sounds less obviously stricken by panic now, but still firm, even a little cold, despite the fact that his voice has lowered considerably. There's an unspoken demand of "now" at the end there that he forces himself to bite back.]
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To be more specific, he can see Juudai's eyes now. Or what should be Juudai's eyes and are not. Nor was that Juudai's name that Johan said. This is definitely a stranger situation than he first thought. He raises one eyebrow for a moment.]
Yubel? [Not so much calling her as he is asking "who the hell is Yubel?" And why does he feel like he should go get his deck and have an awesome final duel against the both of them now?]
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explaining means that Juudai is gone, Juudai is not here, and he promised, he promised, hepromisedhepromisedhepromised he'd never leave again; it's that all over again with all the old razorwire thoughts coming back:
(if he loved you, why would he leave you?)
(if he loved you, why would he hurt you?)
(if he loved you, why?)
(if he loved you?)
(if?)
(but he promised, he promised, he promised, he promised)
he
promised. } ]
What's going on? What's going on?
[ { Break the chains. Break the spirals. Break the thoughts. If Yubel lets them keep going, they will never stop, never ever, not even in sleep. Doing things mutes them. Speaking drowns them out. }
Juudai - that is to say, Yubel - grabs Johan's shirt, gripping hard. ]
He's gone. Juudai is gone, Johan Andersen. I don't know where he is. I don't know. I have to find him. That is what's going on.
[ A smile that is less a smile and more of a threat display - all teeth and determination and hidden, hidden fear. ]
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Yeah, I gathered that much. So what are you doing in his body?!
[He makes a disgusted face, despite the sour sarcasm of his first remark. There's gotta be a logical explanation for this, right? So he's not letting Yubel go until he gets it, no matter how much venom she spews at him for it.]
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I live here.
[ Yubel throws the words at him like blunt objects. ]
This is my home.
[ { Let him puzzle that out. It's not like he shouldn't know. It's all out now. } ]
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[He looks at Yubel, uncomprehending. The words don't make sense to him. It feels awful, but they just don't. "Live there"? How? Juudai couldn't have--
And then, an idea starts sprouting in the back of his mind. When his expression morphs into something more horrified than perplexed, it's obvious what he's considering.
...What if he did?]
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Now, though, the sound of the three boys she lives with is enough to wake even the dead, and with a flash of confused irritation she awakens to the sound of shouting. Slipping out of bed, she completely forgets that the only sleepwear she had in her carry on bag was a rather lacy and pink nightgown her brother had somehow slipped into it, and pads over to open the door and poke her head out]
What is going on? Juudai, Johan, do you realize what time it i-
[Something is wrong. It takes one look at their faces to wake her tired mind up, and she straightens with a serious expression] What's happened?
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And does Yubel duel?]
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You get it, don't you... [ Hissed - almost purred at Johan's expression, because really, it is extremely satisfying to see that look on his face. There will be repercussions later, perhaps even guilt or remorse, but right now Yubel is simply looking to regain control of something. Anything. ] It's me. He chose me.
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