[ Allen had been determined to do something to stop the execution of an innocent man - it was the right thing to do, but could it have something to do with his disappearance? ]
... What do you mean, Lavi?
[ "Not coming back"? After four days? Lavi must be saying it for a reason and it sounds like he's keeping track, but of what? Briefly, Doug pictures ink on parchment. ]
The regular time for those who have been killed to come back is usually three days; if you get sent home, however, it can vary from one day to weeks, to months. Can't know for sure when Allen died, if he has died, but it's been over three days so it might be best to expect that he won't be back for a while, if at all.
[ It's strange to hear Lavi talk like this. His matter-of-factness now seems different from everything Doug has seen of him so far. But he and Allen are friends, aren't they, so the possibility of not seeing Allen again... Is Lavi distancing himself from it? ]
[ Doug looks a little surprised. Home should be fine, shouldn't it? At least when it comes to being in one place again, between missions. Things can't have changed completely in such a relatively short time. ]
[ He frowns, Lavi's dream coming to mind again. It was probably just a small glimpse of something hard for other people to understand, but what makes up Lavi's idea of picking yourself up to go on? He's sure that Lavi is worried about Allen, too. Lavi seems to have spent time thinking about Allen's disappearance, enough to draw the conclusions he has and make his announcement, and the uncertainty of whether Allen will come back soon or after several months have gone by or maybe not at all must be difficult.
While it doesn't help anyone to dwell on any sort of loss, temporary or otherwise, pushing something aside isn't the same as coming to terms with it.
Lavi and the others are experienced Exorcists, so they have to be used to handling a lot, and in this line of work it's true that you need to be careful with emotions (Doug recalls Bookman's words - If you concern yourself any more than necessary with the people you meet in the course of your work, you won't be able to bear it. We aren't all-powerful gods.), but they're also human.
( ... )
Re: [video]mistyredheadMarch 26 2011, 12:44:33 UTC
[Ah... He has a feeling something not so great is going through Doug's mind right now, and he doesn't particularly like that so much. Really, there's no need to worry, or at least that's what he wants people to believe.
No need to let them in too far, even if they are Doug, or Yu, or Lenalee.
And he needs to be reassuring here, so he puts on the most like it smile he can manage.]
[video | private]mistyredheadMarch 27 2011, 10:53:12 UTC
[The words catch Lavi off-guard even if they shouldn't, because if there's anyone he can expect something like this from, it's Doug. And as much as it makes him uncomfortable that someone can read him, he appreciates that it was made private.
He really does.
He's just not... sure how to respond to that. He's not so sure he thinks that it's harder. Not... from his view. And that's what counts, isn't it?]
[video | private]bytheireyesMarch 30 2011, 20:12:42 UTC
[ A few seconds pass before Doug replies. Maybe it's not his place to have said what he did, least of all now. Coming from him, would his advice mean anything?
He can't say he's not worried about Lavi, though. Lavi smiles easily and jokes - and seems reluctant to let others see him any other way. At the same time, Lavi has shown that he isn't unmoved by other people. Does that go against something he really expects from himself or something expected from him? And if it does, will he be all right? ]
It seems like it would be.
I don't think it's something most people can or should work towards.
[video | private]mistyredheadApril 2 2011, 21:34:24 UTC
[There's a long pause as Lavi just looks at the screen, fingers a little on the Hitomi. Can? Sure they can, plenty have. Should? Why not? But someone like Doug, who is so deeply involved with his feelings and different from Lavi in every way like that (not in how involved he is, but with how they accept it, and how genuine they are about it)... Someone like that wouldn't understand.
So Lavi isn't going to try explaining it. Not many people would understand, he figures, and those rare ones that do... Well, even if they did, he probably wouldn't bother explaining it anyway, since they would still understand, wouldn't they? That would be the charm of that.
[video | private]bytheireyesMay 3 2011, 11:20:12 UTC
[ There's a slightly longer pause on Doug's end again as well. His expression stays serious, not quite convinced that this can be something to shrug off as easily as Lavi seems to be treating it as. Or rather, it seems like Lavi wants it to be treated that way, for the subject to be dropped.
Lavi must have his reasons and his own way of viewing this. ]
[ Allen had been determined to do something to stop the execution of an innocent man - it was the right thing to do, but could it have something to do with his disappearance? ]
... What do you mean, Lavi?
[ "Not coming back"? After four days? Lavi must be saying it for a reason and it sounds like he's keeping track, but of what? Briefly, Doug pictures ink on parchment. ]
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I see... Then he's all right?
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Think so.
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There's a pause, then Doug adds: ]
And you and the others?
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..where? Here or home?
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Here.
... You're friends with Allen, after all.
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..we'll be alright.
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While it doesn't help anyone to dwell on any sort of loss, temporary or otherwise, pushing something aside isn't the same as coming to terms with it.
Lavi and the others are experienced Exorcists, so they have to be used to handling a lot, and in this line of work it's true that you need to be careful with emotions (Doug recalls Bookman's words - If you concern yourself any more than necessary with the people you meet in the course of your work, you won't be able to bear it. We aren't all-powerful gods.), but they're also human. ( ... )
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No need to let them in too far, even if they are Doug, or Yu, or Lenalee.
And he needs to be reassuring here, so he puts on the most like it smile he can manage.]
Really.
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Doug makes up his mind. ]
... I don't know why you need to keep at a distance from others, Lavi. It's your business, but it must be harder that way.
[ It can't be easy to expect something like that from yourself, when it goes against human nature, and really be all right when losses build up. ]
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He really does.
He's just not... sure how to respond to that. He's not so sure he thinks that it's harder. Not... from his view. And that's what counts, isn't it?]
Should it be?
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He can't say he's not worried about Lavi, though. Lavi smiles easily and jokes - and seems reluctant to let others see him any other way. At the same time, Lavi has shown that he isn't unmoved by other people. Does that go against something he really expects from himself or something expected from him? And if it does, will he be all right? ]
It seems like it would be.
I don't think it's something most people can or should work towards.
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So Lavi isn't going to try explaining it. Not many people would understand, he figures, and those rare ones that do... Well, even if they did, he probably wouldn't bother explaining it anyway, since they would still understand, wouldn't they? That would be the charm of that.
In any case, Doug needs to be reassured.]
Don't worry 'bout me, Doug. I'll be fine.
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Lavi must have his reasons and his own way of viewing this. ]
... If you're sure, then I'm glad to hear it.
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[And Lavi's relieved that Doug doesn't press about it anymore. And since he doesn't, nothing more needs to be said.]
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