Overwhelm
A few months ago I noticed that I was reacting over-sensitively to feedback and so I constructed a set of heuristics for myself to guide how I should respond in those situations. I think the clarity those rules provided me worked really well. Now when I get feedback I'm really good at listening to it without feeling criticized. In fact I think I've become almost too good at receiving feedback. Tiku told me recently that I shouldn't take any more feedback about my book and I notice with my clients - I almost immediately agree with what they're saying when sometimes it would make sense to provide stability to our way of working. But I'm content with being 'over flexible' at the moment. The greater experimentation that it will force me into will generate some learnings on what's possible and what works and what doesn't. It will also mean a higher number of mistakes even after assuming that we've done the best we can to mitigate them - and I accept that.
However there is another matter that is getting me down today and I thought it would make sense for me to implement the heuristics methodology to this issue as well. I find myself getting down when it feels like a number of things haven't gone my way and it feels like a mountain of things have piled up. In these situations rather than speed up my rate of work I actually slow down and avoid it and this compounds the feeling of guilt - feels like I'm fiddling while Rome is burning but I'm too tired to do anything about it. It feels like there's a lurking disaster that's waiting to get me and I resign myself that this might be the time it's going to get me and I can't fight it any longer. It never is the disaster but I often feel like I'm working all the time just to stave it off. And then it subsides but never really goes away..
The questions I have are therefore:
1. Should I rest or should I attack the work?
2. How can I ensure that if I rest I rest easily? How long should I rest?
3. How can I ensure that if I work I enjoy myself rather than feeling like I 'have to' do the work.
My initial hypothesis are:
1. Most of the pressure results from not pinning down exactly what needs to be done and scheduling it. I need to make a comprehensive to do list and fix a time for the various action items.
2. When I sense the depression I should stop resisting it.. go deep into it till I feel peace and allow myself to switch off. When I switch off I really need to switch off
3. When I start working I need to work with resolution and a commitment to finishing tasks. In flow state I have fun.
4. I can take a call on whether to rest or pin down what's missing depending on how I feel.
5. Remember - whatever happens - I can handle it and it's all part of the journey.
Use the heuristics above. Refine or add to them if required.
However there is another matter that is getting me down today and I thought it would make sense for me to implement the heuristics methodology to this issue as well. I find myself getting down when it feels like a number of things haven't gone my way and it feels like a mountain of things have piled up. In these situations rather than speed up my rate of work I actually slow down and avoid it and this compounds the feeling of guilt - feels like I'm fiddling while Rome is burning but I'm too tired to do anything about it. It feels like there's a lurking disaster that's waiting to get me and I resign myself that this might be the time it's going to get me and I can't fight it any longer. It never is the disaster but I often feel like I'm working all the time just to stave it off. And then it subsides but never really goes away..
The questions I have are therefore:
1. Should I rest or should I attack the work?
2. How can I ensure that if I rest I rest easily? How long should I rest?
3. How can I ensure that if I work I enjoy myself rather than feeling like I 'have to' do the work.
My initial hypothesis are:
1. Most of the pressure results from not pinning down exactly what needs to be done and scheduling it. I need to make a comprehensive to do list and fix a time for the various action items.
2. When I sense the depression I should stop resisting it.. go deep into it till I feel peace and allow myself to switch off. When I switch off I really need to switch off
3. When I start working I need to work with resolution and a commitment to finishing tasks. In flow state I have fun.
4. I can take a call on whether to rest or pin down what's missing depending on how I feel.
5. Remember - whatever happens - I can handle it and it's all part of the journey.
Use the heuristics above. Refine or add to them if required.