priorities
i woke up pretty sad today. mostly because once again i didnt
get enuogh sleep-- a cricket, shoulder pain and an ungodly
headache were keeping me awake all night. plus i had a rough
time trying to even get to sleep. matt didnt really lie, but
he didnt really tell the full truth either. he said the band
was tkaing a break in august and frosty was going away some
where, ok so i believe that to mean, no gigs or practices
right? oh no. he meant only gigs. and frosty didnt end up
going away so they are still practicing and now they are
recording their crap music for some crap executive somewhere
thats not going to have any sense to see that they are legit,
somewhat better than the pop-rock out today,anyways. so even
though i do get to see matt fri. night all through to sunday
morning, a good 36hours or so...its stil only once a week.
while helping him move from 14 and coolidge to 8 and
dequindre on sat, he tells me that if the band chooses to
kick the ass of a lead singer out, he (matt) will be taking
over. Fuck me! are you serious? shit. this puts me in the
worse position. i didnt like the whole him being in a band
thing from the benining. i didnt like having rich in a band
either. adn if that happends, that means he will be somehwta
obligated to put more of an effort into witing, lyrics, and
practicing. he mentioned how they were trying to get on tour
in the midwest with some other bands. fuck i cant deal with
that. i decided, while futilly tyrying to sleep, that if this
ever happends, thats it. break-up. no if's, and's, or
but's.theres no way that he will be able to 'make' any
considerable amount of time for me. nor will i stand being
another waiting band girlfriend. i wont wait. hate it now
with what little time he has, will hate it more when he has
no time. thats not for me. i dont see why he thinks his
stupid little dream would go anywhere anyways. if my stupid
girly dreams are basically shit and would never come true
than so are his and everybody elses. i dont see what
benefits his sees in continuing this illusion. it'll just be
worse when he finally realizes it wont happen
i'm just a lonely person. and i miss beng around him.
terribly jealous he'd rather spend time with 4 guys and a
guitar then me. like always, i'm at to bottom of the
priority list.
get enuogh sleep-- a cricket, shoulder pain and an ungodly
headache were keeping me awake all night. plus i had a rough
time trying to even get to sleep. matt didnt really lie, but
he didnt really tell the full truth either. he said the band
was tkaing a break in august and frosty was going away some
where, ok so i believe that to mean, no gigs or practices
right? oh no. he meant only gigs. and frosty didnt end up
going away so they are still practicing and now they are
recording their crap music for some crap executive somewhere
thats not going to have any sense to see that they are legit,
somewhat better than the pop-rock out today,anyways. so even
though i do get to see matt fri. night all through to sunday
morning, a good 36hours or so...its stil only once a week.
while helping him move from 14 and coolidge to 8 and
dequindre on sat, he tells me that if the band chooses to
kick the ass of a lead singer out, he (matt) will be taking
over. Fuck me! are you serious? shit. this puts me in the
worse position. i didnt like the whole him being in a band
thing from the benining. i didnt like having rich in a band
either. adn if that happends, that means he will be somehwta
obligated to put more of an effort into witing, lyrics, and
practicing. he mentioned how they were trying to get on tour
in the midwest with some other bands. fuck i cant deal with
that. i decided, while futilly tyrying to sleep, that if this
ever happends, thats it. break-up. no if's, and's, or
but's.theres no way that he will be able to 'make' any
considerable amount of time for me. nor will i stand being
another waiting band girlfriend. i wont wait. hate it now
with what little time he has, will hate it more when he has
no time. thats not for me. i dont see why he thinks his
stupid little dream would go anywhere anyways. if my stupid
girly dreams are basically shit and would never come true
than so are his and everybody elses. i dont see what
benefits his sees in continuing this illusion. it'll just be
worse when he finally realizes it wont happen
i'm just a lonely person. and i miss beng around him.
terribly jealous he'd rather spend time with 4 guys and a
guitar then me. like always, i'm at to bottom of the
priority list.