let down
apparently matt enjoys pissing me off. he didnt answer my call on sat, and i left a message. about a half hour later i called back and his phone was turned off. great .fuck. so i email him that he needs to tell me when i can call him and he says anytime after 9pm...ok great..so that means i have to stay up till 2am to make an expensive call that might not even go through because he doesnt get off exactly at 9pm sometimes. and other times he chooses to stay later. this really hurts me. he writes that we always have email. sure but when you answer my attempting to have a conversation questions with a one word or fregment of a sentence that doesnt do much justice compared to hearing a voice on the phone line. yeah...this hurts a lot. someone asked me yeaterday if i was going to send my boyfirend a valentines. i said no, purely because i didnt think about it, and i dont care for made up capitalist holidays. but they didnt ask why. now, if they were to ask id say, because he doesnt deserve one..hes being a dick. and on that note he doent deserve me cutting out my time to call him or email him for that matter. i want to cry. but theres nothing i can do about it, theres nothing i can threaten him with. i'm only hurting myself by thinking more about it right? or does he even give a shit? i dont know i cant tell.