Good Gawd!
I have just spent the last hour and a half in tears. I'm a work even. I'm tired of this shit. Patrick just saw a side of me I was praying wasn't going to surface before we moved. Then again, after we move it shouldn't surface anyways cause I won't be living with my asshole father anymore.
26 days till freedom.
The worst part is I have no idea whatsoever what I've done wrong this time. Granted he thinks i'm a "Lying fucking asshole" cause my sister ratted me out for smoking. (he didn't know for 3years, she's home 3 weeks and he knows...wtf!). Then yesterday he got mad at me about the rent money for March, but I mean come on now 1.5 weeks ago i explained to him that hello it's not possible to pay rent in full by the first unless I don't apy my car loan payment. his answer was to pay half of both each check. well duh! That's what I would like to do. but when Rent is paid in full mid-jan, then you have to pay the loan payment in full the next check, how do I pay half of each without getting fuckered over on one of the payments. We have literally discussed this at least 3 times since mid-Jan. He knows exactly what's going on but yet he still has the right to wake me up to yell at me again about it in front of my boyfriend? NO!
So my mom gets on a confence call with Patrick and I today (Patrick called her) and announces that he's not allowed to come over today cause Gord is on the war path with everyone. I talk to my sister and she says Gord's perfectly fine, if that's the case then it's cause he's upset with me. Apparently one of the things he's upset with me about is that my MOTHERS spare room is a mess. Up until about a month ago I rarely went in there, I hung out in my room, but because I'm not allowed to have Patrick in my room we hang out in the spare room with my mom. So therefore regardless of whether or not it's my mess it's now my responsibility. My sister left shit all over the downstairs counter and he's mad at me.
I agree with everything he says, shut up and do it.... he gets mad at me. I try to explain myself and he gets mad at me cause I'm talking back. But I'm not talking back, I'm trying to say hey this is what happened, or no I'm sorry it wasn't my fault or whatever and get told (the second I open my mouth) that I'm talking back, I'm ungratefull and I'm a bitch.
Patrick and I are supposed to be going to visit Nathan in the hospital tonight, and I can't even do that. Well mom might be able to take me but Patrick can't go now cause he's not allowed at the house.
I do assume part of his problem is the fact that I took my car yesterday. But you know what I don't give a flying fuck. It's my fucking car. I paid for it. It's in my name, it's mine. I'm 25 fucking years old and shouldn't have to ask for permission to use my own fucking car. It's been 2 years since I had vehicle freedom. Patrick and I had places to look at yesterday but more importantly we had Julia yesterday. Patrick has to see his daughter. I had to meet her, so I took it. It was only 11 - 5:45pm. I'm moving in 26 days and I'm taking my car with me then, and he's ok with it so what's the problem with taking it now???
I'm so sick and fucking tired of all this bullshit. I've been on good behaviour at home, and haven't been overly moody. I've been level-headed and do all my chores.
OMG listen to me, I'm 25 and I read this and I hear myself at 13 upset that my parents aren't treating me like an adult....huh. Go figure. Somethings just never change.
I have a boyfriend which whom I'm moving in with in 3 weeks, and I'm taking on a 6 year old daughter, of sorts lol, hell her booster seat stays in my car now. But yet I'm treated like a child.
26 days till freedom.
The worst part is I have no idea whatsoever what I've done wrong this time. Granted he thinks i'm a "Lying fucking asshole" cause my sister ratted me out for smoking. (he didn't know for 3years, she's home 3 weeks and he knows...wtf!). Then yesterday he got mad at me about the rent money for March, but I mean come on now 1.5 weeks ago i explained to him that hello it's not possible to pay rent in full by the first unless I don't apy my car loan payment. his answer was to pay half of both each check. well duh! That's what I would like to do. but when Rent is paid in full mid-jan, then you have to pay the loan payment in full the next check, how do I pay half of each without getting fuckered over on one of the payments. We have literally discussed this at least 3 times since mid-Jan. He knows exactly what's going on but yet he still has the right to wake me up to yell at me again about it in front of my boyfriend? NO!
So my mom gets on a confence call with Patrick and I today (Patrick called her) and announces that he's not allowed to come over today cause Gord is on the war path with everyone. I talk to my sister and she says Gord's perfectly fine, if that's the case then it's cause he's upset with me. Apparently one of the things he's upset with me about is that my MOTHERS spare room is a mess. Up until about a month ago I rarely went in there, I hung out in my room, but because I'm not allowed to have Patrick in my room we hang out in the spare room with my mom. So therefore regardless of whether or not it's my mess it's now my responsibility. My sister left shit all over the downstairs counter and he's mad at me.
I agree with everything he says, shut up and do it.... he gets mad at me. I try to explain myself and he gets mad at me cause I'm talking back. But I'm not talking back, I'm trying to say hey this is what happened, or no I'm sorry it wasn't my fault or whatever and get told (the second I open my mouth) that I'm talking back, I'm ungratefull and I'm a bitch.
Patrick and I are supposed to be going to visit Nathan in the hospital tonight, and I can't even do that. Well mom might be able to take me but Patrick can't go now cause he's not allowed at the house.
I do assume part of his problem is the fact that I took my car yesterday. But you know what I don't give a flying fuck. It's my fucking car. I paid for it. It's in my name, it's mine. I'm 25 fucking years old and shouldn't have to ask for permission to use my own fucking car. It's been 2 years since I had vehicle freedom. Patrick and I had places to look at yesterday but more importantly we had Julia yesterday. Patrick has to see his daughter. I had to meet her, so I took it. It was only 11 - 5:45pm. I'm moving in 26 days and I'm taking my car with me then, and he's ok with it so what's the problem with taking it now???
I'm so sick and fucking tired of all this bullshit. I've been on good behaviour at home, and haven't been overly moody. I've been level-headed and do all my chores.
OMG listen to me, I'm 25 and I read this and I hear myself at 13 upset that my parents aren't treating me like an adult....huh. Go figure. Somethings just never change.
I have a boyfriend which whom I'm moving in with in 3 weeks, and I'm taking on a 6 year old daughter, of sorts lol, hell her booster seat stays in my car now. But yet I'm treated like a child.