When you least expect it
So, if you've had the misfortune to be anywhere near me during the last five years, you may have been subjected to one or more of the following:
1) complaints that I am tired,
2) complaints that I can't breathe properly,
3) complaints that I can't hold my alcohol,
4) complaints that I am in a permanent bad mood,
5) complaints that I feel stupid.
I spent quite a bit of Xmas in hospital being prodded by an ENT specialist, who was able to tell me within ten minutes that this is entirely due to a chest infection I had five years ago that closed off several important pieces of my innards (including sinuses, airways, all optional stuff like that) and that I have lived the last five years with the oxygen intake of someone at the top of Kilimanjaro. THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. It explains the giddiness, the tiredness, the mood swings, the breathlessness, the susceptibility to infection, every bloody thing. It even explains why my alcohol tolerance disappeared entirely for no apparent reason, and why my energy levels dropped dramatically and never picked up again. SO. Now that I have a diagnosis, I also have a treatment plan (FUCKING STRONG ANTIBIOTICS to combat stuff - I remember these fuckers, they pumped me full of the stuff when I had pneumonia - and three other things all designed to open an airway). I have to take all of this for a month (it's a pain, bc it takes half an hour to do everything, morning and night), and then, hopefully, I will have... air. AIR, YOU GUYS! The first kick of the drugs left me oxygen-drunk, I sat around giggling to myself and inhaling all the way down to my toes.
The bad news is, if they don't work (i.e. if things revert after a couple of months) I'm gonna need to have surgery to reconstruct an airway. BUT THAT'S OK BC THEY WILL WORK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
You have no idea of the relief I felt at being told all this. I'd convinced myself it was all in my head, that it was psychosomatic and I just had to get on with it. I got more and more frustrated that I had no energy, that I couldn't sleep well, that I couldn't even inhale properly. AND NOW THERE IS A REASON! IDEK, my head exploded from relief.
*
Uh, other stuff. itinerant_vae told me I'd been recced, which was v flattering, especially as I wrote that fic on a whim and fully expected everyone in fandom to hate it. (Why, yes, I did write dark!fic for a sitcom, what's your point?)
Other writing I have done - 3 yuletide fics, which I found a struggle considering that my lungs were really packing up by that point. I'm glad that I perserved, though, even if they are a bit random.
Uh, I also found an old Angel/Spike fic I wrote eons ago and never posted, so that's up at AO3 now. [ Oubliette ] It occurs to me that once I finish importing all my fic to AO3, I will have c. 350 fics. This is weird. I don't feel like I've written much stuff, but I guess I must have. Well, I'm signed up to 3 separate fanfic 100 challenges (Londo, Arvin/Jack, and 100fandoms), so there's plenty of fic to come from those. Anyway, it just feels a bit weird.
Finally, I've written the first second third fourth draft of the Sherlock fic I owe for help_pakistan . I have the final beta notes now, and will be working on finishing that up before the New Year. It's not quite what I intended to write when I started out, but then again these things rarely are.
This entry was originally posted at DreamWidth. There are
comments there. Comments are welcome at either journal.
1) complaints that I am tired,
2) complaints that I can't breathe properly,
3) complaints that I can't hold my alcohol,
4) complaints that I am in a permanent bad mood,
5) complaints that I feel stupid.
I spent quite a bit of Xmas in hospital being prodded by an ENT specialist, who was able to tell me within ten minutes that this is entirely due to a chest infection I had five years ago that closed off several important pieces of my innards (including sinuses, airways, all optional stuff like that) and that I have lived the last five years with the oxygen intake of someone at the top of Kilimanjaro. THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. It explains the giddiness, the tiredness, the mood swings, the breathlessness, the susceptibility to infection, every bloody thing. It even explains why my alcohol tolerance disappeared entirely for no apparent reason, and why my energy levels dropped dramatically and never picked up again. SO. Now that I have a diagnosis, I also have a treatment plan (FUCKING STRONG ANTIBIOTICS to combat stuff - I remember these fuckers, they pumped me full of the stuff when I had pneumonia - and three other things all designed to open an airway). I have to take all of this for a month (it's a pain, bc it takes half an hour to do everything, morning and night), and then, hopefully, I will have... air. AIR, YOU GUYS! The first kick of the drugs left me oxygen-drunk, I sat around giggling to myself and inhaling all the way down to my toes.
The bad news is, if they don't work (i.e. if things revert after a couple of months) I'm gonna need to have surgery to reconstruct an airway. BUT THAT'S OK BC THEY WILL WORK AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
You have no idea of the relief I felt at being told all this. I'd convinced myself it was all in my head, that it was psychosomatic and I just had to get on with it. I got more and more frustrated that I had no energy, that I couldn't sleep well, that I couldn't even inhale properly. AND NOW THERE IS A REASON! IDEK, my head exploded from relief.
*
Uh, other stuff. itinerant_vae told me I'd been recced, which was v flattering, especially as I wrote that fic on a whim and fully expected everyone in fandom to hate it. (Why, yes, I did write dark!fic for a sitcom, what's your point?)
Other writing I have done - 3 yuletide fics, which I found a struggle considering that my lungs were really packing up by that point. I'm glad that I perserved, though, even if they are a bit random.
Uh, I also found an old Angel/Spike fic I wrote eons ago and never posted, so that's up at AO3 now. [ Oubliette ] It occurs to me that once I finish importing all my fic to AO3, I will have c. 350 fics. This is weird. I don't feel like I've written much stuff, but I guess I must have. Well, I'm signed up to 3 separate fanfic 100 challenges (Londo, Arvin/Jack, and 100fandoms), so there's plenty of fic to come from those. Anyway, it just feels a bit weird.
Finally, I've written the first second third fourth draft of the Sherlock fic I owe for help_pakistan . I have the final beta notes now, and will be working on finishing that up before the New Year. It's not quite what I intended to write when I started out, but then again these things rarely are.
This entry was originally posted at DreamWidth. There are
comments there. Comments are welcome at either journal.