FIC: A Pissing Contest, In Parts
Ten million years ago, I promised queenspanky this fic - A Knight's Tale, Wat/Chaucer, ink on fingers, food, and smut. Erm. *hides*
100fandoms #45 'game'
A Pissing Contest, In Parts
i.
"I'll fong you," Wat declared, hitching up his fists. They'd finished both food and beer some time ago, and all that was left was talking until the bar wench could be persuaded to extent their tab and bring some more.
"Yes," Geoff said, and took a step back, "but it wasn't me I was thinking of." He nodded in the direction of the bar wench, busy chattering with some richer customers. Not prettier customers, mind you. She kept glancing back every few minutes, just to check that they were still there.
Wat blinked. "I don't fong girls!"
Geoff's mouth hung open for a second. "Let's - leave that to one side, my eloquent friend. My proposal is this: we ask the fair maiden of this tavern to use her skills and discerning taste to judge our performances." Wat waited. Geoff sighed. "We'll both fong her."
That took a while to sink in. Geoff watched, a little startled at the red flush that slowly rose across Wat's cheeks. Wat blinked a couple of times, chewing on his lower lip in concentration, as if examining the proposal for a word-trap. "Yes," he said at last.
Geoff beamed, and patted Wat's cheek. "That's the spirit!" He would have sworn that it was not physically possible, but there it was: if anything, Wat's face got even redder.
ii.
Wat was having some trouble with his trousers. It wasn't altogether clear whether it was the bar wench's verbal encouragement or Geoff's uncharacteristic silence that was at fault, but, if Wat's four-letter tirade was anything to go by, they would both stand to answer for it in time.
"Let me assist you," Geoff said in a comrade-like manner, and stuck his hand, long fingers cool and stained with ink, through the plackett.
Wat's breath rushed out of him in one long exhale.
iii.
"That was good. Now how about you?" The bar wench raised an eyebrow expectantly at Geoff's suddently insoucient look.
"You chicken," Wat huffed, still out of breath. He rolled back so that he was lying partly against the way, propping himself up on his elbows. "I win."
Geoff's eyes flickered over him. "You do not." He started in on the cords to his trousers.
iv.
"Here," Geoff said," you'll like this."
Wat wasn't sure about that. He wasn't all that sure that he good with what they'd done thus far, actually, but Geoff had a hell of a lot more letters than he did, and if he swore up and down and left and right that there wasn't going to be any after-death issues, then, well -
"Oh," he said, his hands settling on Geoff's shoulders, moving to curl themselves in short blonde hair. "Do that again."
v.
"I'm going with a draw," the girl finally decided, tucking her tunic back into her voluminous skirts. "That all right with you two?"
Geoff waved vaguely. Wat snored.
She closed the door on her way out.
*
fin
I am being good, you see. I'm slowly - oh my god so slowly - working my way through the ten million fics I promised people. I'm not signed up for any more ficathons or anything, and have a list of what I promised (detailed below), but if you think you should be on the list and aren't, then, um, yell at me and I'll feel guilty and add you. :-)
Fics/Essays Owed -
- Christmas fics: for luvarvinsloane, Irina&Sloane, Sloane/&Sydney, Sloane/Dr Barnett or Sloane/Emily.
- Idol reflection: Alfred Bester & Arvin Sloane
- tww_minis Toby fic
- Cherry!fics: likeadeuce (Dexter), brandy_took (ST:TOS), soulstar (Nip/Tuck), bluerosefairy (Nip/Tuck and Sandman), trollsttroll (Fast & Furious), leyenn (Xena).
Hey, that looks a lot better than it did before! (Oh, it looked *awful* before. Don't ask.)
I've learned my lesson, tho - no more offers or signing up to things until I finish these, and I get the next parts of afterdays and the 1602/angel crossover done.
So, for bonus points (but alas, no fic), guess which remix I wrote for remix_redux. There'll be a virtual cookie in it for ya.
100fandoms #45 'game'
A Pissing Contest, In Parts
i.
"I'll fong you," Wat declared, hitching up his fists. They'd finished both food and beer some time ago, and all that was left was talking until the bar wench could be persuaded to extent their tab and bring some more.
"Yes," Geoff said, and took a step back, "but it wasn't me I was thinking of." He nodded in the direction of the bar wench, busy chattering with some richer customers. Not prettier customers, mind you. She kept glancing back every few minutes, just to check that they were still there.
Wat blinked. "I don't fong girls!"
Geoff's mouth hung open for a second. "Let's - leave that to one side, my eloquent friend. My proposal is this: we ask the fair maiden of this tavern to use her skills and discerning taste to judge our performances." Wat waited. Geoff sighed. "We'll both fong her."
That took a while to sink in. Geoff watched, a little startled at the red flush that slowly rose across Wat's cheeks. Wat blinked a couple of times, chewing on his lower lip in concentration, as if examining the proposal for a word-trap. "Yes," he said at last.
Geoff beamed, and patted Wat's cheek. "That's the spirit!" He would have sworn that it was not physically possible, but there it was: if anything, Wat's face got even redder.
ii.
Wat was having some trouble with his trousers. It wasn't altogether clear whether it was the bar wench's verbal encouragement or Geoff's uncharacteristic silence that was at fault, but, if Wat's four-letter tirade was anything to go by, they would both stand to answer for it in time.
"Let me assist you," Geoff said in a comrade-like manner, and stuck his hand, long fingers cool and stained with ink, through the plackett.
Wat's breath rushed out of him in one long exhale.
iii.
"That was good. Now how about you?" The bar wench raised an eyebrow expectantly at Geoff's suddently insoucient look.
"You chicken," Wat huffed, still out of breath. He rolled back so that he was lying partly against the way, propping himself up on his elbows. "I win."
Geoff's eyes flickered over him. "You do not." He started in on the cords to his trousers.
iv.
"Here," Geoff said," you'll like this."
Wat wasn't sure about that. He wasn't all that sure that he good with what they'd done thus far, actually, but Geoff had a hell of a lot more letters than he did, and if he swore up and down and left and right that there wasn't going to be any after-death issues, then, well -
"Oh," he said, his hands settling on Geoff's shoulders, moving to curl themselves in short blonde hair. "Do that again."
v.
"I'm going with a draw," the girl finally decided, tucking her tunic back into her voluminous skirts. "That all right with you two?"
Geoff waved vaguely. Wat snored.
She closed the door on her way out.
*
fin
I am being good, you see. I'm slowly - oh my god so slowly - working my way through the ten million fics I promised people. I'm not signed up for any more ficathons or anything, and have a list of what I promised (detailed below), but if you think you should be on the list and aren't, then, um, yell at me and I'll feel guilty and add you. :-)
Fics/Essays Owed -
- Christmas fics: for luvarvinsloane, Irina&Sloane, Sloane/&Sydney, Sloane/Dr Barnett or Sloane/Emily.
- Idol reflection: Alfred Bester & Arvin Sloane
- tww_minis Toby fic
- Cherry!fics: likeadeuce (Dexter), brandy_took (ST:TOS), soulstar (Nip/Tuck), bluerosefairy (Nip/Tuck and Sandman), trollsttroll (Fast & Furious), leyenn (Xena).
Hey, that looks a lot better than it did before! (Oh, it looked *awful* before. Don't ask.)
I've learned my lesson, tho - no more offers or signing up to things until I finish these, and I get the next parts of afterdays and the 1602/angel crossover done.
So, for bonus points (but alas, no fic), guess which remix I wrote for remix_redux. There'll be a virtual cookie in it for ya.