If you really wanna know, I'm not doing so well.
I went on my nightly walk tonight and I got to thinking that lately I've been closing myself off. Not a good thing, not a good thing at all. Everything that I worked hard to do to not close myself off I've stopped doing. Writing, music, and confiding in close friends, nothing anymore. I'm not sure if it's because I'm moving or if it's because I'm sick of hearing the same thing from different people. I don't think that people understand how easily thier words can hurt me. I take a lot of things really seriously, I haven't yet learned to brush it off. And it's a little hard to brush off what your saying when your the one saying all of it. I feel like in the past month or so no one really understands what is going on. I myself don't even know. I'm just trying to tie up loose ends before I leave and that's proving to be harder than I anticipated. I know I made a mistake in the past couple days, and I'm regretting it more and more each day. I wish I could go back and fix everything because you don't deserve to be hurt like that. You shouldn't be hurt like that. I just want to tell you so, and your making it harder than I thought it would be. I just don't want anything bad to happen between us, but I'm glad that the last memory of us together is a happy one. that's the one I'll cherish for a long time.
I move in three days, and those three days are going to fly by, yes I'm coming back in the winter, but I don't want to wait until then to see you again. I can't stand this, and I just want some closure, but I guess right now. It's a little too much to ask for. We both have things going on in our lives that make it difficult to hang out, but can't we find just a small amount of time, so I can say goodbye in person, and apologize for being a bitch? even though you tell me that I never was, and that I shouldn't feel this bad. but your wrong, I do feel this bad, and I will always feel bad about it. Because you didn't deserve it, and you don't deserve to hurt.
I can't take anymore of the make believe romance
It's killing my make believe heart (killing my make believe heart)
But I'd rather pretend we're together than know we're apart
Let's pretend everythings fine
Put on our fake smiles and keep wasting our time
Let's pretend we're fine
Go out in style and come home in denial
Let's pretend we're fine
(if they don't look close then they all believe it)
Let's pretend we're fine
(we can hold hands and we'll know that we're friends)
Let's pretend we're fine
I move in three days, and those three days are going to fly by, yes I'm coming back in the winter, but I don't want to wait until then to see you again. I can't stand this, and I just want some closure, but I guess right now. It's a little too much to ask for. We both have things going on in our lives that make it difficult to hang out, but can't we find just a small amount of time, so I can say goodbye in person, and apologize for being a bitch? even though you tell me that I never was, and that I shouldn't feel this bad. but your wrong, I do feel this bad, and I will always feel bad about it. Because you didn't deserve it, and you don't deserve to hurt.
I can't take anymore of the make believe romance
It's killing my make believe heart (killing my make believe heart)
But I'd rather pretend we're together than know we're apart
Let's pretend everythings fine
Put on our fake smiles and keep wasting our time
Let's pretend we're fine
Go out in style and come home in denial
Let's pretend we're fine
(if they don't look close then they all believe it)
Let's pretend we're fine
(we can hold hands and we'll know that we're friends)
Let's pretend we're fine