Fuck the World and Rape it of its Cruelties. Please.
I can't think straight, let alone crooked. Unwanted tears keep blinding the only path of rationality in my mind. Not that I have anything to be rational about. I have nothing to be anything about. I'm just one meaningless emotional blob of confusion. Anything is nothing and nothing has become even more dense and futile. Inquisitions of inadequecy fill up whatever vacant spaces in a mind already gorged with enamoring curiosities of fate, love, cruelties of life... whys, whos, hows.
I wish I could tell you the story. I wish I could muster a rhyme (okay, not really). Assemble something that could update your wondering psyches. Not that you couldn't aimlessly guess and get far from target. You need not worry. Although one more heart has yet to be mended (and for that will be a while), there are hearts enough full of love for the world to survive. And mine is far less significant (based on its past experiences and treatments).
Why should anything matter? Why waste your tears on lives that have only succeeded in breaking your heart? Why dwell on one's sadism that was blunt in its approach, but forever living? One's harshness will never die, yet will take too long to get over. For a supposed love that was with me for not two months took half a year to forget. And yet this love that had more an impact and yet a longer continuance of pain, I fear will take less to erase from memory due to me being prone to its animality and games. Nothing wrong with that. So why do I hurt so?
I don't care about anything right now. And because of that I am too careless to help my selfish helpless mother with a garage sale which is to financially support Heather's and My grad party. Even though I have been the only one to help her with anything this past month, even though I have been working over 50 hours a week. How come people can be so ungrateful and still so needy and mindless of their requests? Thank you Lord for giving me all of these things to want to kill myself over. Grad party cancelled? I hope so. Just a stupid reason to clean everyone else's mess and put yourself under unecessary stress (even though your mother would be glad enough to do it for you... create the stress that is).
Help
I wish I could tell you the story. I wish I could muster a rhyme (okay, not really). Assemble something that could update your wondering psyches. Not that you couldn't aimlessly guess and get far from target. You need not worry. Although one more heart has yet to be mended (and for that will be a while), there are hearts enough full of love for the world to survive. And mine is far less significant (based on its past experiences and treatments).
Why should anything matter? Why waste your tears on lives that have only succeeded in breaking your heart? Why dwell on one's sadism that was blunt in its approach, but forever living? One's harshness will never die, yet will take too long to get over. For a supposed love that was with me for not two months took half a year to forget. And yet this love that had more an impact and yet a longer continuance of pain, I fear will take less to erase from memory due to me being prone to its animality and games. Nothing wrong with that. So why do I hurt so?
I don't care about anything right now. And because of that I am too careless to help my selfish helpless mother with a garage sale which is to financially support Heather's and My grad party. Even though I have been the only one to help her with anything this past month, even though I have been working over 50 hours a week. How come people can be so ungrateful and still so needy and mindless of their requests? Thank you Lord for giving me all of these things to want to kill myself over. Grad party cancelled? I hope so. Just a stupid reason to clean everyone else's mess and put yourself under unecessary stress (even though your mother would be glad enough to do it for you... create the stress that is).
Help