long overdue: fall 2011
okay. the last few months have been ROUGH. i've worked three horrible jobs. i work with scum. well, some of the people are scum. it's just really difficult working in a more professional atmosphere, where i admit i know i didn't fit in completely, to working in an environment that takes no intelligence whatsoever. i work in places that are so drama filled. i've come to believe that people at this level of employment have such boring and monotonous lives that they need to start gossip and fights to make their lives even somewhat eventful. for example, at hot topic my coworkers all started acting weird towards me..awfully quiet and whatnot. then i was told by a girl that was hired (back) recently that they told her to watch out for me because i'm mean. i later tied two and two together..at hard rock, this girl cythnia (whose boyfriend was one of my managers at hot topic) was spreading things about me about how i'm mean, materialistic, and money hungery. it's funny, because the only things i really buy are comic books, tattoos, and occasional video game, and food. that makes me materialist. i'm money hungery because i want to make more money and want to go back to school. i mean, really? i can't raise a family someday on 20,000 a year!!! assholes. so i quit hot topic, picked up more hours at hot box, which really isn't THAT much better. people are kind of two faced there, especially the drug dealer usman, who bases ALL of his "intellectual" debates on punk (and shitty punk at that) music. he preaches about equality and oppression and shit, constantly throwing out words like "ignorance" and "prejudice" yet he started going around saying i was gay due to how i sound, which apparently is "gay." whatever.
through all of it though, i am coming out with some good work friends. like at hard rock i have brooke, who is now officially the girl i have dated the longest, which isn't even official yet because she technically still has a boyfriend because until the end of december(ish) she is financially in a bind. i'm okay with that. we've been taking things slow, which i kind of love. for example, we just held hands for the first time the other night at the movies. ironically, that bitch with loose lips, cynthia, texted her saying there is a rumor going around hard rock saying we are sleeping together...A LOT. which we think is pretty funny, but i wonder how that rumor got started (kidding, i know that bitch started it). at hot box, i have made some decent vegan friends there, which is always good.
during my time as these shit jobs (mainly speaking about hot box), i have gotten in a pretty horrible car accident. not super bad, all things considered, but not good by far. i had to start seeing a chiropractor, which is the best thing that ever had happened to me. every since marching band i have wanted to see one because my back has been fucked up. and dr richards proved that. saw him for just over two weeks and ended things due to me not having enough to afford him, especially with the attorney not getting info from the other driver. see, it seemed as though the other driver, the AT FAULT driver, did not have car insurance. the attorney's office said that if they didn't hear anything by october 27th, they were going to close my case, resulting in me being responsible for a couple grand worth of doctor bills. i called them on the 28th to see what was up. the attorney's assistant said "did you not get the letter yet? on the 26th we sent out a letter saying we were closing your case...but on the 27th we got a letter saying the at fault driver does in fact have insurance." BIG, GIANT sigh of relief. there is still a lot of law and bureaucracy shit going on, but hopefully in a month or two i can profit from this. then, about two weeks after my accident, i got assaulted by a drunk guy outside of hot box. he missed me, but he nailed my car, resulting in a GIANT dent in my door. this hurts my spirit everyday i look at my car. :( it also makes me hate drunks and drinking even more. my amazing car is less amazing now. less than a year old and damaged :( i'm hoping to get it all fixed soon.
i've decided to apply for grad school and i'm pretty dead set on it...and really, if i don't get in, i'm applying for another fucking bachelor's degree. something with more promise because i can't take this shit anymore. but that's plan B. plan A is to actually get into a good MSW program. i'm thinking positively and hoping for the best.
starting tonight, my friend ruben will be moving in with me. he's flying out from LA because he wants a change. we've gotten pretty close since we started talking to each other back in august. it's pretty awesome having a good guy friend like that again. so yeah, he's moving in with me. i do have some feelings regarding it though. he says he values me a lot and whatever, and that out of all his friends he could have moved in with he chose me for multiple reasons, but i still don't feel like i was option number one. that could just be my self doubt, but idk...i'm still looking to be someone's number one and i'm still just not feeling it anywhere. however, i'm still going to do the best that i can to make his stay here pleasurable and amazing.
so basically that sums up the last couple months of my life. i'm living each day as best as i can and focusing on the little things that make it worthwhile. every single day is a struggle, but i'm remaining optimistic about the future. because really, i hit rock bottom and i'm using it to rebuild my life. ;)
through all of it though, i am coming out with some good work friends. like at hard rock i have brooke, who is now officially the girl i have dated the longest, which isn't even official yet because she technically still has a boyfriend because until the end of december(ish) she is financially in a bind. i'm okay with that. we've been taking things slow, which i kind of love. for example, we just held hands for the first time the other night at the movies. ironically, that bitch with loose lips, cynthia, texted her saying there is a rumor going around hard rock saying we are sleeping together...A LOT. which we think is pretty funny, but i wonder how that rumor got started (kidding, i know that bitch started it). at hot box, i have made some decent vegan friends there, which is always good.
during my time as these shit jobs (mainly speaking about hot box), i have gotten in a pretty horrible car accident. not super bad, all things considered, but not good by far. i had to start seeing a chiropractor, which is the best thing that ever had happened to me. every since marching band i have wanted to see one because my back has been fucked up. and dr richards proved that. saw him for just over two weeks and ended things due to me not having enough to afford him, especially with the attorney not getting info from the other driver. see, it seemed as though the other driver, the AT FAULT driver, did not have car insurance. the attorney's office said that if they didn't hear anything by october 27th, they were going to close my case, resulting in me being responsible for a couple grand worth of doctor bills. i called them on the 28th to see what was up. the attorney's assistant said "did you not get the letter yet? on the 26th we sent out a letter saying we were closing your case...but on the 27th we got a letter saying the at fault driver does in fact have insurance." BIG, GIANT sigh of relief. there is still a lot of law and bureaucracy shit going on, but hopefully in a month or two i can profit from this. then, about two weeks after my accident, i got assaulted by a drunk guy outside of hot box. he missed me, but he nailed my car, resulting in a GIANT dent in my door. this hurts my spirit everyday i look at my car. :( it also makes me hate drunks and drinking even more. my amazing car is less amazing now. less than a year old and damaged :( i'm hoping to get it all fixed soon.
i've decided to apply for grad school and i'm pretty dead set on it...and really, if i don't get in, i'm applying for another fucking bachelor's degree. something with more promise because i can't take this shit anymore. but that's plan B. plan A is to actually get into a good MSW program. i'm thinking positively and hoping for the best.
starting tonight, my friend ruben will be moving in with me. he's flying out from LA because he wants a change. we've gotten pretty close since we started talking to each other back in august. it's pretty awesome having a good guy friend like that again. so yeah, he's moving in with me. i do have some feelings regarding it though. he says he values me a lot and whatever, and that out of all his friends he could have moved in with he chose me for multiple reasons, but i still don't feel like i was option number one. that could just be my self doubt, but idk...i'm still looking to be someone's number one and i'm still just not feeling it anywhere. however, i'm still going to do the best that i can to make his stay here pleasurable and amazing.
so basically that sums up the last couple months of my life. i'm living each day as best as i can and focusing on the little things that make it worthwhile. every single day is a struggle, but i'm remaining optimistic about the future. because really, i hit rock bottom and i'm using it to rebuild my life. ;)