This is interesting. I remember reading this in its original incarnation some time ago, but I don't remmeber it well enough to see what you've changed. I like the whole internal monologue thing. Changes!
Thanks for coming back! I hope this is better than the original. When I first wrote it, I really enjoyed the storyline in general (and I still do), but in going back I realized that it was lacking a lot.
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So I hope you enjoy this new version!
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