The Circle of Thirteen (After the Flaw: Oligarchy, Chapter 16)

[kanedax]

Title: The Circle of Thirteen (After the Flaw: Oligarchy, Chapter 16)
Author: kanedax
Spoilers: Previous ChaptersRating: R for language

Comments

[madderbrad]

Well, *I* can't see it coming, at any rate ... :-(

Great to see some more quality writing from you!

I thought you were going to tease us ... again ... with the bulk of the chapter, showing us Manbo and Jason but going no further with the Oligarchy. But you ended up giving us a few tidbits ... enough to make us nervous. Okay, so Victoire *and* Teddy (which was a surprise) are both 'protected'. And that has something to do with ability at defence, at fighting? So as to be useful in this coming battle/war, whatever it is? And what the hell is the 'package'/Beta? Arrgh!!

It must have been fun to write about your home town. Nice to 'see' it in your words.

... remembering getting a Shotgun from his father ...

But Jason's dad is a muggle, isn't he?

I'm still very nervous about things, this oligarchy - or at least the membership of the circle - seems to have power and wield magic a whole level above dear Harry and his 'signature spell' and so forth. It's going to be a bloodbath. :-( Like the battle with Charlie and Luna was.

[kanedax]

good catch on the shotgun, I'll fix er up now. Even though I'm posting in chunks, I'm still not going through the beta process.

[lionquidditch]

Finally had a chance to read this chapter. I don't know that I liked you having Luna and Charlie's Memories altered in the last chapter, but I trust you for the good storytelling nonetheless.

I also like that there is more of the Oligarchy in this chapter than we have previously seen. Hard to tell if they are really "good guys" or "bad guys" in this story.

I like the touch with Duluth as well, knowing that you are from there.