[ love ]
Brad read my written journal. And at first, I was kind of nervous about it. I mean, thats me in those pages. Many times crying myself to sleep at night feeling as though my pen is all I have to talk to. And it's evident in my writing as such.
But Brad reading my written journal has been a good thing, because it has offered him understanding and insight. He says now he knows that I feel exactly the same way he does, word for word. I didn't know there was ever a doubt in his mind, but im glad that it's cleared up.
And I just want to clear a little bit up.
I dont control him. He doesnt control me. I dont tell him what to do, or what not to do, and id get mad if he tried to do it to me. But he knows what will upset me, and what will make me mad or worried, and I know the same things about him. And now that he's in my life, he's the most important thing I have. He's worth so much more than anything else that I might want to do that would upset him or cause our relationship to be in jeopardy, and he feels the same way about me.
It doesnt mean hes a pussy, or a wuss, or whipped.
It just means that he isnt immature and naive.
I just hope that one day, some little boys with big mouths will grow up and see that there is more to life than always living for yourself. Relationships aren't about doing what you want to all the time. No, you shouldn't change for someone, but that doesn't mean you should run around all the time being self-centered and doing whatever the hell you want because you think someone should 'accept you for who you are'. Because if who you are is an immature, stupid, self-centered jackass, then no one should ever have to suffer the agony of trying to love you. Because it's apparent you'll never know how to return that love.
But anyway. I love you Brad. And im proud of you. Im proud of you for making mature decisions about your car and how your going to live your life; and it's not just because these are the things I want for you. Im proud of you because you want these things for yourself. Im proud of you because you put me over your reputation, and your cars reputation, and you don't give in to childish games. And I just wanted you to know that. I am proud of you. I get a little frusterated sometimes, because it can seem that your losing the battle with yourself at times; backsliding, if you will. But I know that in the end, you'll always make a responsible decision. And I'll always be here to back you up. I love you...as much as I can tell you and so much more.
But Brad reading my written journal has been a good thing, because it has offered him understanding and insight. He says now he knows that I feel exactly the same way he does, word for word. I didn't know there was ever a doubt in his mind, but im glad that it's cleared up.
And I just want to clear a little bit up.
I dont control him. He doesnt control me. I dont tell him what to do, or what not to do, and id get mad if he tried to do it to me. But he knows what will upset me, and what will make me mad or worried, and I know the same things about him. And now that he's in my life, he's the most important thing I have. He's worth so much more than anything else that I might want to do that would upset him or cause our relationship to be in jeopardy, and he feels the same way about me.
It doesnt mean hes a pussy, or a wuss, or whipped.
It just means that he isnt immature and naive.
I just hope that one day, some little boys with big mouths will grow up and see that there is more to life than always living for yourself. Relationships aren't about doing what you want to all the time. No, you shouldn't change for someone, but that doesn't mean you should run around all the time being self-centered and doing whatever the hell you want because you think someone should 'accept you for who you are'. Because if who you are is an immature, stupid, self-centered jackass, then no one should ever have to suffer the agony of trying to love you. Because it's apparent you'll never know how to return that love.
But anyway. I love you Brad. And im proud of you. Im proud of you for making mature decisions about your car and how your going to live your life; and it's not just because these are the things I want for you. Im proud of you because you want these things for yourself. Im proud of you because you put me over your reputation, and your cars reputation, and you don't give in to childish games. And I just wanted you to know that. I am proud of you. I get a little frusterated sometimes, because it can seem that your losing the battle with yourself at times; backsliding, if you will. But I know that in the end, you'll always make a responsible decision. And I'll always be here to back you up. I love you...as much as I can tell you and so much more.