Oct 27, 2005 15:12
Michiganders
Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
might live in Michigan
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each
year because Pelston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Michigan
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
live in Michigan
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Michigan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
you might live in Michigan
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Michigan
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
Michigan
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
Michigan
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Michigan
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-75 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows
how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next
to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Indiana
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole
shed.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. The Big Mac is something you drive across, as well as eat.
23. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
all your Michigan friends.
And yes, I wear shorts in the winter LMAO