(no subject)

[kandi_kissez]

i'm at work right now. jeremy just left at 1. he is the person i kinda hang around all day. he has been teaching me what to do and telling me where everything is. so without him here, i feel kinda lost. he left me with some things to keep me busy. hopefully i can drag it out for 4 hours.... which i doubt. this is going to be short cuz i don't wanna get in trouble for being online, not like anyone will even notice. i'm in my own little world here. no one tells me what to do or how to do it. i thought this job was okay at first, but to be honest, i don't know how much longer i can do this. i called my mom this morning a little after 10 because i knew that she was on break at work, and i told her about how i feel uncomfortable here, and all of a sudden i started to cry. i really don't like it. i am the youngest person here and the only one without a college degree. yeah, that may be something to be proud of, and i feel really lucky to have gotten in here, but i hate it. and i can't stay somewhere that i hate. however, 3 things are stopping me from quitting. 1 .. My dad - he was oh so proud of me for getting in here and was happy that i was so young and making so much money. he even got on my case about college. i had originally wanted to go for Massage Therapy, but as soon as i got this job, he told me to forget about it. he said i don't need to be wasting time at college for that when i have an oppurtunity like this one. so i know for a fact he will make me feel like shit if i decide to quit here. 2 .. My car - i have absolutely no idea how i'd make my car payments each month and car insurance payments twice a year without a high paying job. even if i went back to Sears or Dairy Queen, i would have to work insane over time, and still have like no money left after i pay for my car. 3 .. There is a chance it might get better if i wait it out.

askldhflakshdlfksdflsadfh

i don't know what to do. all i know is i'm not a happy camper in these buildings full of strangers =( help meeeeee