dancin' queen b***h
As of monday I've been officially inducted as part of the FedEx crew, and as I thought, the talk and the walk aren't even close. I finally understand how the corporate brainwashing scheme works... especially at 1:30 or so in the morning watching one boring assed video after the next with lectures and this and that and the other, knowing full friggen well, no one acts as they say. It's probably for this reason I always say, stick me on the floor and let me see for myself. Though as it stands, everyone does seem abnormally friendly. Everyone says hi, displays random acts of kindness and generally treats each other like long time friends.
On another note however, there's 4000+ employess there and I've seen like 50... what the crap?
That being said, all my worst fears have come true. It's like when I worked at the Radisson and I cried to get out of bed. I just didn't wanna friggen move after work the next morning, and it's much the same now, as I've hardly ever had to stay up to 4am consistantly, only to get back up at 9 (usually fall asleep around 5) The work's not hard, but it's in the dead of night, so use your imagination. This week has kinda hit me academically as I've fallen way off what I've been wanting to do, so I'm still stuck on the whole progression I had since I started... not bad, not good, averaging an A-, but blah.
My everyday life has been... hectic for the most part... I can't really remember sitting down for more than hour save for today. Had a funeral yesterday, which was surprisingly very frakkin' upbeat, with a minimum of tears.
I've been talkin' to Ash off and on when we could find the time. I feel like one of those married couple's that's been together so long, the relationship's become almost routine, save we're not together anymore, so it's like we do all the things we did when we were together, minus the intimacy... awkward feeling sometimes, but meh. She knows how I feel about her, but I'd rather get my own sh** together than try to go that route again. One thing at a time :/
She's seemed really f***in' bummed lately though, and a part of me wishes I knew why, but I know it's best to just let her have her space. I wanna cheer her up, but I don't even know where ot begin, so I've been trying to just downplay everything as much as possible and just hope it sorts itself out. I know she's terribly overworked and tired though, so most of the time I'm just trying to do whatever I can to ease the stress.
The subject of kids seems to have become a more and more predominant theme lately as well... my brother just had his second kid, Gale had hers, two of the girls I work with have kids, One of the guys, and then Ash. All of 'em are unique cases, and truthfully, I've started to think of Paul as my own for a while actually... not that I'll ever BE his father, but I really want to see him grow up and junk and be happy. It was after my first night at FedEx when I dying to go to sleep but couldn't that I started thinking about how I'd do just about anything for that kid. (Paul's Ash's kid btw) I just really love and adore the little monster lol.
I'm surprised I haven't crashed yet though... Granted I'm sure I'm due, but I can't, as long as I sh** to do... so much to do ; ;
All in all, hopefully I'll be getting apartment between mid-april and may. I needs a place to just crash and have to myself and not worry about anything except the sweet embrace of dead silence.
::sigh:: one more hour before work.
On another note however, there's 4000+ employess there and I've seen like 50... what the crap?
That being said, all my worst fears have come true. It's like when I worked at the Radisson and I cried to get out of bed. I just didn't wanna friggen move after work the next morning, and it's much the same now, as I've hardly ever had to stay up to 4am consistantly, only to get back up at 9 (usually fall asleep around 5) The work's not hard, but it's in the dead of night, so use your imagination. This week has kinda hit me academically as I've fallen way off what I've been wanting to do, so I'm still stuck on the whole progression I had since I started... not bad, not good, averaging an A-, but blah.
My everyday life has been... hectic for the most part... I can't really remember sitting down for more than hour save for today. Had a funeral yesterday, which was surprisingly very frakkin' upbeat, with a minimum of tears.
I've been talkin' to Ash off and on when we could find the time. I feel like one of those married couple's that's been together so long, the relationship's become almost routine, save we're not together anymore, so it's like we do all the things we did when we were together, minus the intimacy... awkward feeling sometimes, but meh. She knows how I feel about her, but I'd rather get my own sh** together than try to go that route again. One thing at a time :/
She's seemed really f***in' bummed lately though, and a part of me wishes I knew why, but I know it's best to just let her have her space. I wanna cheer her up, but I don't even know where ot begin, so I've been trying to just downplay everything as much as possible and just hope it sorts itself out. I know she's terribly overworked and tired though, so most of the time I'm just trying to do whatever I can to ease the stress.
The subject of kids seems to have become a more and more predominant theme lately as well... my brother just had his second kid, Gale had hers, two of the girls I work with have kids, One of the guys, and then Ash. All of 'em are unique cases, and truthfully, I've started to think of Paul as my own for a while actually... not that I'll ever BE his father, but I really want to see him grow up and junk and be happy. It was after my first night at FedEx when I dying to go to sleep but couldn't that I started thinking about how I'd do just about anything for that kid. (Paul's Ash's kid btw) I just really love and adore the little monster lol.
I'm surprised I haven't crashed yet though... Granted I'm sure I'm due, but I can't, as long as I sh** to do... so much to do ; ;
All in all, hopefully I'll be getting apartment between mid-april and may. I needs a place to just crash and have to myself and not worry about anything except the sweet embrace of dead silence.
::sigh:: one more hour before work.