rant and ramble.
I need to clear my table. very badly.
yes I'm finally beginning to get very irritated with self and actually want to throw things, and move things off.
I will stop being sentimental.
I will stop keeping so much shit.
I need to file a lot of things.
a lot.
a lot.
I need space for things I want.
although, obviously I want too many things. =(
oh sorry I started with nails right. HAHA my new hobby. driving me nuts. but until I have more space on the table, I can't do anything crazy yet. I'm reading so many tutorials and squeeing silently at my desk, but no. no space. if I do it in the toilet, I'd die of boredom waiting for it to dry. if I use my sister's currently empty table, my mother will kill me because it just means I'm lazy to clear my table and use my own table. that happened after last year's japan trip and no, I don't fancy my mum exploding like that.
also the ridiculous number of clothes. I like the muji dividers though! so pretty. although, why don't they have it in other earthy colours. white makes the stuff easy to find and see though. da-arn. I want to buy a case for my polishes too. yes it's getting THAT much. bought!
and also the ridiculous amount of le bangles. all. over. the. place. I can't think of any other way to store them besides getting a big box. yes yes I have a very big box. it measures like 60x30x30cm or something. crazy ah. hur. maybe I should get those box stools. half foot stool half accessories box. totally an idea. with another pouch to keep the rings, another tray to keep the necklaces, another tray to keep the earrings. I will do just that. but before that, must clear under the table, and return mother her footstool.
and there are also random craft supplies on my desk. random ribbons. cloth. beads. pins. omg pins. I don't why I like them so much it's crazy. yes I have colourful headed pins, metallic headed pins, frosted plastic headed pins I must be nuts. also I think I have thread rolling about. includes both sewing machine bobbin thread and dmc 6 strand type. luckily the crochet yarn never really caught on, even though I would love to do it. and now mother bought a crochet and knitting book OMG the cutest shit ever. cutest. ever. I wanna learn how to do them!
I still want to do the boxes. the yutans. I want. I want to do. I want to do because they can be done. it's not difficult. I just need space. especially the boxes. I think the yutans hor, I better leave it to someone more expert. HAHA I suck at using the machine. maybe I should pay chin teck. wait she throw something at me. but eh it's definitely easier than a cosplay costume what. straight lines only. I step the machine pedal too slowly lah. my fault, my fault I lousy.
okay make that I AM gonna do the boxes. I've an in-the-air appointment with teck to get materials already. woots.
provided I don't get all distracted and lazy. I have 4 more episodes of personal taste (I'm late yes I know, and yes I blame you lee min ho oh gosh please please don't ask why min ho), and I have an extremely good mind to actually watch kaseifu no mita. I feel an october 15 spirit coming back -- it's a bit scary and I'm trying to keep it down. at the same time, it's a why not? kind of feeling. teck is in similar interest with me, and I see my jc self in her, which is why I find it scary, I suppose. it's hypocritical when I tell her she's nuts, or 不要变态了, but I guess that's the least I could do for myself, if not her.
I think the scary part lies in understanding that there's no actual benefit (the other party has nothing to offer me in terms of goods or information or services etc), plus a knowledge of my manipulative self (this whole thing could be to affirm that I can steer certain things to fruition, which is an evil, evil thing when it is full blown), and there's that bit of competition (now that teck is involved, but in her explicit expression of thoughts comes some form of innocence) somehow.
人間は怖いモノだ。死にたいほど怖い。
but they make life interesting. they make the places I'm in become curious, become shrouded in a mystery I have created. some of them have been shared after all, like the very intelligent one, to some extent dress alert, I shocked another one with ec2, I share dds with poo, and I am deeply opposed by denise on toothpaste. I'm not sure who I alloted ec1 to though. fell out of my brain. is it dress alert? he had so many names I don't remember anymore. I mean, good heavens we called him dress alert, we called him fairy godmother, but for the life of me I don't know how we got there. o.O poor kids.
avril remains a mystery forever. I'm not even sure myself. it's almost random. I don't know why at all. at all. and to be extremely honest, q and i kind of fall under this category as well. I really don't know why. it doesn't make sense.
bah. why am I analysing myself at this hour. 15 october! my day of obsession, fangirlism, infatuation and complete madness. whereby none of it is true love but some of them are true friendships. HAHA not so bad right. somehow.
and oh koichi koichi the man who has fallen from my top ranking johnny listing, but forever holds a place in my heart. much like hyde, I find. no matter how gross laruku singles can get, got concert I AM GOING. that sort of idea. koichi! his latest is 200% kpop but I don't care. love the hair so much.
my fangirl switch lives. just a bit old and rusty, so maybe more difficult to push down.
so many things in this entry. back to work! no I didn't write all this in one afternoon -- this is 2 afternoons worth of writing. heh.