Marvin
"Life...don't talk to me about life"
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction?"
"You think you've got problems, what are you supposed to do if you're a manically depressed robot? No, don't bother to answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer. It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level"
''That ship hated me,'' he said dejectedly, indicating the policecraft.[...]
''It hated me because I talked to it.''
''You talked to it?'' exclaimed Ford. ''What do you mean you talked to it?''
''Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,'' said Marvin.
''And what happened?'' pressed Ford.
''It committed suicide,'' said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
''The supernova bomb?'' said Marvin. ''It's a very, very small bomb.''
''Yeah?''
''That would destroy the Universe in toto,'' added Marvin. ''Good idea, if you ask me. They won't get it to work, though.''
''Why not, if it's so brilliant?''
''It's brilliant,'' said Marvin, ''they're not.
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction?"
"You think you've got problems, what are you supposed to do if you're a manically depressed robot? No, don't bother to answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer. It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level"
''That ship hated me,'' he said dejectedly, indicating the policecraft.[...]
''It hated me because I talked to it.''
''You talked to it?'' exclaimed Ford. ''What do you mean you talked to it?''
''Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,'' said Marvin.
''And what happened?'' pressed Ford.
''It committed suicide,'' said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
''The supernova bomb?'' said Marvin. ''It's a very, very small bomb.''
''Yeah?''
''That would destroy the Universe in toto,'' added Marvin. ''Good idea, if you ask me. They won't get it to work, though.''
''Why not, if it's so brilliant?''
''It's brilliant,'' said Marvin, ''they're not.