Overall update.
I've guessed quite easily, in this relaxed and nostalgic state, my old password. What I want to share with the people who were my LJ friends is this: It's not about your partner making life perfect. It's about your partner being there for you, regardless of the circumstances. That's what makes a relationship work. So many people don't realize that, young or old. I wish more people understood that.
I'm making this post public, regardless of my concerns about associations with my personal life (if ever someone should link this journal with me personally) because the message is far too important. To expound upon the original sentiment, I'd like to also say that you should be there for your partner. If the person you are with makes you feel less valuable, less attractive, less intelligent, less deserving, that person doesn't deserve you. It doesn't matter where you come from, what your measurable IQ is, what your weight is, or the number of your friends -- all of that is irrelevant. Fact of the matter is: The more you care about others; the more you deserve the care of others. So don't kill yourself trying to care for the rest of humanity. Respect and love yourself, then find someone you naturally love and respect. Only then will you feel right with the world.
The external, the religion, the financial, the physical -- all of it is so artificial. I get that idea of believing perhaps our lives will be short. I fully expected that I would die before age 30. Sometimes, I still expect as much. I thought I wanted it all -- perfection in every form. But that simply doesn't exist. You should enjoy life as much as you can before that's no longer an option. If that means sleeping in hammocks on the beach, do so. If that means helping others, do so. If that means working the stock market in NYC, do so. But don't let physical appearance, society, or finances run your happiness. You are what you do. And you don't have to prove to anyone else what you do. Just freaking do it, and enjoy the experience. We are humans, and we change, and so does the world around us.
Maybe that's just it. Before, I had such great difficulty adapting to change. Now I not only accept it, but I embrace it. The same old thing can grow quite boring. Yes, stability is reassuring, but it seems to have little meaning. We must explore. Take a change. Have faith. Be risky. Recover when it sucks. That's life. You'll find your way to normality. Or at least I hope you will.
I remember everyone here from "back in the day" of my trials and tribulations. I remember YOUR trials and tribulations. We've all grown a lot, and all in different ways. We also all have our own limits. There's no shame in that. Never feel shameful or guilty about yourself or your own desires. Biology and psychology are significant phenomena and they should not be discounted. I just hope that if you are less scientifically minded that you remember there are people here who never forgot about all your dilemmas. I've been on Livejournal since 2003. That's an entire decade. I have never forgotten anyone since the beginning, even if I fell out of touch, because it was so hard to get close in the first place. Just in case anyone (like me) has forgotten a login username or password I shall leave this public. But I just want you to know this is directed toward my online friends. I want to say thank you for helping me feel a little less crazy in a society that didn't understand us, and thank you for respecting my opinion the way you do. Any of you left is someone who always had something somewhat intellectual to say. And for that, I shall ever adore you. Thank you for YOUR support. I hope your life has also improved.
<3 R