Hitori ni shinaide
Today was... well... it sucked. I got to Japanese half asleep, only to find that I'd never even seen half the test before. While I think I did okay sight reading it (in five minutes without a dictionary) it was kinda an "oh shit" feeling.
And then there was education. I screwed up how we were organizing the groups for the debate, got accused of trying to change it without asking anyone else, and then after explaining that I was just confused, got repeatedly yelled at by one of my group members who just *wouldn't drop it*. Not only that, but she made it seem like all of the evalutations of the lesson were like "what was her problem" when really only one was like "you guys needed to communicate better because..." And she seriously wouldn't drop it. Even though at the meetings I was so sick I could barely sit up straight (I nearly passed out walking back from the one on monday where we discussed the structure) and I really couldn't think clearly or retain anything. I simply came because this particular girl demanded that I do, when the reason she demanded I come was pointless anyway. I brought the book my readings were in and she didn't take it, just told me to put it up in canaday. (asshole, i could have done that without walking across campus and up three flights and nearly killing myself) But I was sick enough that I also forget to make a photocopy of the readings for the professor.
So I'm standing in class, trying to do this presentation with my group, as my side hurts like hell because my spleen is inflamed from the mono, and then I make a mistake and my group member WON'T DROP IT. Like, to the point where I was like, I told you it was a mistake, I said I was sorry, and she still kept it up until I was like I SAID I WAS SORRY at which point she had no more chance to harass me because as soon as I'd read all the reviews I grabbed my stuff, promised to send my part of the papers, and ran out of the room and cried when I got to the bottom of the steps. And cried all the way home. And really cried when I got to my room. (Where Erin came in and gave me a hug.) But all in all it sucked... This girl has been snotty to me all along and I really just want to her and be like "do you gain something from bullying me or are you just a rotten person?"
And I still just want to cry. Because being bullied, especially about things outside your control- missunderstanding because you can't think straight because you're so sick-- sucks. A lot. I hate it.
And then there was education. I screwed up how we were organizing the groups for the debate, got accused of trying to change it without asking anyone else, and then after explaining that I was just confused, got repeatedly yelled at by one of my group members who just *wouldn't drop it*. Not only that, but she made it seem like all of the evalutations of the lesson were like "what was her problem" when really only one was like "you guys needed to communicate better because..." And she seriously wouldn't drop it. Even though at the meetings I was so sick I could barely sit up straight (I nearly passed out walking back from the one on monday where we discussed the structure) and I really couldn't think clearly or retain anything. I simply came because this particular girl demanded that I do, when the reason she demanded I come was pointless anyway. I brought the book my readings were in and she didn't take it, just told me to put it up in canaday. (asshole, i could have done that without walking across campus and up three flights and nearly killing myself) But I was sick enough that I also forget to make a photocopy of the readings for the professor.
So I'm standing in class, trying to do this presentation with my group, as my side hurts like hell because my spleen is inflamed from the mono, and then I make a mistake and my group member WON'T DROP IT. Like, to the point where I was like, I told you it was a mistake, I said I was sorry, and she still kept it up until I was like I SAID I WAS SORRY at which point she had no more chance to harass me because as soon as I'd read all the reviews I grabbed my stuff, promised to send my part of the papers, and ran out of the room and cried when I got to the bottom of the steps. And cried all the way home. And really cried when I got to my room. (Where Erin came in and gave me a hug.) But all in all it sucked... This girl has been snotty to me all along and I really just want to her and be like "do you gain something from bullying me or are you just a rotten person?"
And I still just want to cry. Because being bullied, especially about things outside your control- missunderstanding because you can't think straight because you're so sick-- sucks. A lot. I hate it.