Ashes
I lost my anchor yesterday and I just don't know how to feel about that. My sister, my bestest friend, my heart, my soul, my love. Apart of me is now lost and broken into a million pieces. 💔 I don't know how to deal with this. I've lossed so many this year alone and all hurt tremendously. My aunt who helped raised me, my three girls Makita, Trixie, and my Ramen and now Ashley. All five were amazing beautiful females in my life and all are now gone.
Ashes was my one person who connected on a different existence. She was my sunshine to my darkness. The one person I could be stupid with and get into shenanigans 🙃 . I hate that I woke up today. I didn't dream of anything last night. Nothing was felt, nothing was there. In the pit of my stomach there is nothing. I had messaged her the day before her death. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She was sad but not something I was worried about. She was in a better place. Happier with her life. She was going in the right direction.
What had happen was an accident according to her mom. I feel for her family.
My heart hurts today. All these memories. It comes in waves. I miss her so damn fucking much. My eyes are swollen and my head hurts today. But I'm alive. And I'm lost. I can't express that enough.
Ashes was my one person who connected on a different existence. She was my sunshine to my darkness. The one person I could be stupid with and get into shenanigans 🙃 . I hate that I woke up today. I didn't dream of anything last night. Nothing was felt, nothing was there. In the pit of my stomach there is nothing. I had messaged her the day before her death. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She was sad but not something I was worried about. She was in a better place. Happier with her life. She was going in the right direction.
What had happen was an accident according to her mom. I feel for her family.
My heart hurts today. All these memories. It comes in waves. I miss her so damn fucking much. My eyes are swollen and my head hurts today. But I'm alive. And I'm lost. I can't express that enough.