searching for a way out..

[kamikazeflight]

Going away for a few days makes you realize how much you love hate where you're from.

p.s. is it wrong to want to live on your own?


This is going to be an exceedingly long random post about everything i have been thinking as of late.

• First of all I am so sick and tired of every time someone brings up music someone has to throw in their insight on how they liked the band before anyone else ever knew about them and how the band has been signed to a record label and therefore has sold out and so on and so forth. Such example; every time someone mentions the band Against Me at least one person has to point out how they have been morphed by their record label to become something that would sell better. Though this may be slightly true in the eyes of these people Im just really sick of hearing it and " Well i saw Against Me when they were playing on buckets" Big fucking deal. No one cares how long ago you saw them and how much you think they've sold out either. Personally in my opinion a band that constitutes as "selling out" would be that which is making music that they do not enjoy in order to profit. In my opinion this is not true in the case of this band. People need to realize that just because a band is getting recognition does not mean that they have sold out. If they are still playing with that same passion and having a great time then that does not constitute them as selling out for being signed to a corporate record label. Instead of commending them for all the hard work they put into their passion you degrade them and say that they are just like every other mainstream american product. Well i would just like to personally point out how ridiculous that is.

• Secondly I would like to point out how absurd our country has become. I never watch the news for that reason alone. You turn on the five o' clock news and are fed so much fabricated bullshit that it is disgusting. It's funny how capitalism is. Our economy is based on fear. Nuclear attacks became a threat and everyone and their brother ran out to the nearest army navy store and bought gas masks. In the 50's people were locking themselves away in bomb shelters for the fear they might get killed. People by fancy exercise equipment and diet pills because they are afraid of being what america considers "fat".I think it is ridiculous that people live their lives tip toeing around, afraid to do anything that could compromise their future. People live their entire lives restricted because they fear that they may jeopardize themselves, and then they are diagnosed with a terminal disease at 30 and have never really lived at all. I think that is insane. What im trying to get at here is that throughout your whole life you are drilled with the fear that the smallest mistake in your life will completely ruin your future. Throughout your whole school life you are told that you must attend college and get a high paying job or you will die miserable and alone. How ironic that these people who are millionaires are some of the most unhappy people ever. I used to hold the perspective that being wealthy was the only way to obtain happiness. Though material items are a great luxury of life they hardly define happiness. Im not against attending college at all. However, I think that college should be something that someone seeks out in order to obtain knowledge rather than to get a better paying job. True happiness doesn't come from a paycheck or the amount of flashy top of the line material items you have. I cannot believe that people refuse to travel now for fear that their plane may be some part of a terrorist attack. It's sad how the american society is so afraid to just live. You only have once life, You only have one body. Why is everyone so god damn afraid of fucking up? Death is completely inevitable so I think that you should do anything and everything you desire before that day comes. Who cares if you fuck things up, it's definitely not going to ruin your life. People are afraid to express who they are because it will affect the way they are perceived. I think everyone needs to be fed massive amounts of downers so they don't worry so much about life. Don't hide behind your fears.

• Another thing that has been on my mind lately is how insincere you become living in this world. One prime example is the common line "I miss you, we should hang out". That one is funny. Does anyone actually mean that when they say it? Or anything for that matter? I know half the time I truly don't. I think that sincerity has been replaced with politeness. I received a call out of the blue from someone I hadn't talked to in nearly a year, It was strange because we used to know each other so well...but it seemed as though I was talking to a complete stranger. I suppose that the fact of life is that nothing ever stays the same, it always changes. People always come and go as well as feelings toward a person. It almost seems futile to ever invest in relationships because the end is almost certain. To be a little optimistic though, although it may seem futile it is most likely beneficial in the sense that you become exposed to new things through other people. What is friendship though really? Is it partying and getting completely obliterated together? I think that true friendship is nearly impossible to find. It's the kind of thing where you can know exactly what the other person is talking about while everyone else is completely clueless. Or being able to tell that person anything at all and not be afraid of judgment or that person not keeping confidentiality. I guess the longer someone puts up with you helps to determine if they are truly your friend.

Thats all i've got at the moment, Im glad livejournal didn't crash before I could type all that..for once. hah