The News
I go through cycles with just how closely I can watch the news.
In part, it's because it's becoming increasingly apparent just how little you can trust the news. Even reliable sources have been caught passing along rumors, urban legends, and outright lies as fact. It's gotten like taking medical advice off of Wikipedia, then getting indignant about it when the splinter ends up festering.
Mostly, it's because it gets harder to sort out the good things in the world. It gets easier to focus on the shooters, and not on the bravery in the face of the shooter, the heroes during and after the event, the support and care and compassion that comes after. It gets easier to see the stories about violence, abuse, and hate. The horrible things gather up inside of me and fester, feeding on fears, insecurities, and the little bits of war, serial murderers, infamous scandals, plagues, and the strange superstitions that have haunted the edges of society.
Sometimes, it all comes pouring out in a great rush. Not in my own personal acts of violence: no, I'm not that type of person. I'm not sure I can even be moved to violence in self-defence, and I'm grateful nothing in my life has come up to discover one way or another. Instead I get evil characters who haunt my old role-playing games, or stories steeped in all the worst things I've read about and heard. I wrote a story called The Hangman's Daughter. I wrote it, originally 14,000 words, in a little over two days. It was like purging all of the darkness, and I swing between being proud of the story, because I believe it to be one of the truest and best crafted examples of my work, and being horrified that it came out of my imagination.
It's like drinking, because if you do it right, you walk this fine line before you're too besotted to hold a pen, and that's when all of your best work comes to life. That's a far more extreme example, but in the same way you have to ask if the cost to body is worth the reward, I also have to ask if the cost in soul is worth the work that results.
I also get very tired of writing dark pieces. I'm not emo, I never bothered with being goth, and I'm finding that I really do prefer the uplifting and heartwarming stories in life. Give me a happy ending.
There are times when I retreat away from the news. I just can't take it anymore. It's getting like that now, and I know I shouldn't just withdraw from the world. It's important to know what's happening, what's shaping the future.
Reading things like this dreck just makes me sick and sad. I don't know if anyone who might be reading this is familiar with Fred Phelps or the Westboro Baptist Church. He would be the "God hates fags" and "God hates America" guy who pickets funerals. While I can't truly understand why he and his ilk would picket any funeral, I can at least see that there is some sick logic behind picketing the funeral of someone like Matthew Sheppard. Afterall, according to them, God hates fags. Naturally, they'd want to show up and spred their venom at the funeral of a homosexual victim.
What I cannot fathom is how they can make absolutely everything about them. They were going to picket the funerals of the Amish children who were murdered, because it happened to punish us for enabling gays and discriminating against, who else?, the Westboro Baptist Church. They've put the same reasoning to the VT attack, claiming it wouldn't have happened if we'd just see the light, round up all the fags like the animals they are, and recognise Phelps and his church for the holy and flawless beings they are.
I'd try to write someone like that into my stories, but it would involve getting to know him and his motives far better, and I'm afraid I don't have the stomach for that kind of intense hatred.
I think I'll ease back on reading the news. I can keep track of what's happening in the world without gawking at tragedy. I can use that time to read, and to work on my own stories.
Among other things, at least I know that in my stories, good will eventually win.
In part, it's because it's becoming increasingly apparent just how little you can trust the news. Even reliable sources have been caught passing along rumors, urban legends, and outright lies as fact. It's gotten like taking medical advice off of Wikipedia, then getting indignant about it when the splinter ends up festering.
Mostly, it's because it gets harder to sort out the good things in the world. It gets easier to focus on the shooters, and not on the bravery in the face of the shooter, the heroes during and after the event, the support and care and compassion that comes after. It gets easier to see the stories about violence, abuse, and hate. The horrible things gather up inside of me and fester, feeding on fears, insecurities, and the little bits of war, serial murderers, infamous scandals, plagues, and the strange superstitions that have haunted the edges of society.
Sometimes, it all comes pouring out in a great rush. Not in my own personal acts of violence: no, I'm not that type of person. I'm not sure I can even be moved to violence in self-defence, and I'm grateful nothing in my life has come up to discover one way or another. Instead I get evil characters who haunt my old role-playing games, or stories steeped in all the worst things I've read about and heard. I wrote a story called The Hangman's Daughter. I wrote it, originally 14,000 words, in a little over two days. It was like purging all of the darkness, and I swing between being proud of the story, because I believe it to be one of the truest and best crafted examples of my work, and being horrified that it came out of my imagination.
It's like drinking, because if you do it right, you walk this fine line before you're too besotted to hold a pen, and that's when all of your best work comes to life. That's a far more extreme example, but in the same way you have to ask if the cost to body is worth the reward, I also have to ask if the cost in soul is worth the work that results.
I also get very tired of writing dark pieces. I'm not emo, I never bothered with being goth, and I'm finding that I really do prefer the uplifting and heartwarming stories in life. Give me a happy ending.
There are times when I retreat away from the news. I just can't take it anymore. It's getting like that now, and I know I shouldn't just withdraw from the world. It's important to know what's happening, what's shaping the future.
Reading things like this dreck just makes me sick and sad. I don't know if anyone who might be reading this is familiar with Fred Phelps or the Westboro Baptist Church. He would be the "God hates fags" and "God hates America" guy who pickets funerals. While I can't truly understand why he and his ilk would picket any funeral, I can at least see that there is some sick logic behind picketing the funeral of someone like Matthew Sheppard. Afterall, according to them, God hates fags. Naturally, they'd want to show up and spred their venom at the funeral of a homosexual victim.
What I cannot fathom is how they can make absolutely everything about them. They were going to picket the funerals of the Amish children who were murdered, because it happened to punish us for enabling gays and discriminating against, who else?, the Westboro Baptist Church. They've put the same reasoning to the VT attack, claiming it wouldn't have happened if we'd just see the light, round up all the fags like the animals they are, and recognise Phelps and his church for the holy and flawless beings they are.
I'd try to write someone like that into my stories, but it would involve getting to know him and his motives far better, and I'm afraid I don't have the stomach for that kind of intense hatred.
I think I'll ease back on reading the news. I can keep track of what's happening in the world without gawking at tragedy. I can use that time to read, and to work on my own stories.
Among other things, at least I know that in my stories, good will eventually win.