so yeah i know im going to hell
my life is a total wreck. ok not a total wreck. i am going to college. well thats if ga state takes me still even after i send my final transcripts. but thats the only thing in my life right now that is good. so yeah if you didn't know. im seeing a phsyciatrist* again. not only b/c im cutting myself again. back then i cut myself b/c it was a way of taking my mind of things and somehow it made me feel better. but now im addicted to cocaine. i now have cuts of where i put cocaine in them. b/c it makes my entire arm go asleep/numb for an hour or so. i have $12.81 in my bank account. and i've been cashing every graduating check and getting blow. the friends i have now are two-faced. all because they don't care about people much. they just care about getting their drugs. so look at me now. in a matter of a semester. i've lost 20lbs. wasted over $2000 on cocaine. and im grounded yet i still sneak out. and stay out until 4am every school night.(i would stay out later but my parents wake up at 4:30. ) i haven't slept since wed. night. i feel fucked up constantly. i plan on getting sleep tonight.
so yeah im going to hell. im thinking of rehab this summer. i hope i can get money for that. i fucked my life over bad.