(no subject)

[kamikaze]

"At such times he became aware for an hour or so that the was leading a strange life, that he was doing nothing but playing a mere game, that although he might be serene and might sometimes feel joy, true life was nevertheless passing him by without touching him. The way a ball player plays with the ball, so did he play with his business, with the people around him, watching them, finding amusement in them; his heart, the wellspring of his being, was not in it. The wellspring flowed elsewhere, as if far from him; it flowed on and on invisibly, and had nothing more to do with his life. And a few times he was alarmed at these thoughts and wished that it might be vouchsafed to him, as well, to take part in all the childlike activity of each day passionately and wholeheartedly, really to live, really to act, really to enjoy and to live instead of merely standing by in that way like a spectator."
-Siddharthata, by Herman Hesse.

I'm planning on being in grad school in the spring.