long overdue update that sucks hairy balls. don't bother reading.
I've finally gotten around to updating this...
and I haven't a thing to really say.
I've hit a low depression. I haven't felt this way since highschool. i feel the presence of my old demon I battled with in the past and i'm NOT liking it in the least.
I'm facing realy versus what my version of how things should be. I'm waking up and learning to cope, comming up with Plan B and Plan C and trying to see if I should go for Plan B now or wait. I'm not sure what the fuck to do. So I'm rather chaotic....
I rekindled an old friendship with "Michiru." I guess it was good timing.... I'm loosing time spent with one of my current and resident best friends Eli and also growing apart from another close friend.... and she's going through some hell herself, so I guess we're being there for eachother.
I'm debating with myself... I don't really want to get into relationships ever fucking again. I don't even know why i got into them. I used to despise the idea of being with someone else and all the mushy crap. But something got me all star-struck and my head up my ass. I'm pulling it out and trying to focus.... but i'm not doing too great.
School is chaotic hell. I've lost my modivation. I just barely show up to class and it's hard enough to force myself to do that. I don't have any modivation to do any school work.
I think my parents are right about me being addicted to the internet and texting. Maybe I should spend more "family time" with them.... after all my life is never about what I think I want or need. it's NEVER about me. It's all about what makes everyone else smile.
That's all. Again... a sucky post. I can't think of what else to publish other than a pissed off angesty rant.
and I haven't a thing to really say.
I've hit a low depression. I haven't felt this way since highschool. i feel the presence of my old demon I battled with in the past and i'm NOT liking it in the least.
I'm facing realy versus what my version of how things should be. I'm waking up and learning to cope, comming up with Plan B and Plan C and trying to see if I should go for Plan B now or wait. I'm not sure what the fuck to do. So I'm rather chaotic....
I rekindled an old friendship with "Michiru." I guess it was good timing.... I'm loosing time spent with one of my current and resident best friends Eli and also growing apart from another close friend.... and she's going through some hell herself, so I guess we're being there for eachother.
I'm debating with myself... I don't really want to get into relationships ever fucking again. I don't even know why i got into them. I used to despise the idea of being with someone else and all the mushy crap. But something got me all star-struck and my head up my ass. I'm pulling it out and trying to focus.... but i'm not doing too great.
School is chaotic hell. I've lost my modivation. I just barely show up to class and it's hard enough to force myself to do that. I don't have any modivation to do any school work.
I think my parents are right about me being addicted to the internet and texting. Maybe I should spend more "family time" with them.... after all my life is never about what I think I want or need. it's NEVER about me. It's all about what makes everyone else smile.
That's all. Again... a sucky post. I can't think of what else to publish other than a pissed off angesty rant.