update after long abstance
Sorry i haven't updated in a long time.... I've been so busy lately...
I've been in a blah mood latly. I don't know why.... Maybe it's just this last month has been full of stress. And i've noticed some things about myself I had noticed before, or at least didn't want to admit to.
For one big thing: I am lonely. More so than I realized, or wanted to admit to. It's really nice having someone really show appreciation for you, someone who compliments you and tries to take care fo you. I'm so used to being the one who helps pushes others up and being the one who gives the compliments that I hadn't realized how much I needed it in return. I needed to be loved, more than just a friend.
For another thing (it goes in hand with the above statement), I'm more clingy than I realized I could be. Maybe I'm just so lonely and so empty that now I had a taste of true affection, I am despirate for it. I feel extreamly upset about the fact that I am this way. I souldn't be this needy. I should be strong and be able to handle being on my own like I have for the last couple years. Why am I suddenly unable to be strong? Maybe I am not really that strong.
I hit a slump. I have lost some faith in myself and my dreams. They seem to far away and unattainable now days. I feel like laying in bed and not waking up. But I want to hold onto to something strong, something to anchor me. Soemthing I can hold and depend on. And I hate feeling this way. I should be strong. But I can't help but feel small and like I am failing.
I haven't gotten much sleep at all lately. I'm suffering from insomnia....
I've been in a blah mood latly. I don't know why.... Maybe it's just this last month has been full of stress. And i've noticed some things about myself I had noticed before, or at least didn't want to admit to.
For one big thing: I am lonely. More so than I realized, or wanted to admit to. It's really nice having someone really show appreciation for you, someone who compliments you and tries to take care fo you. I'm so used to being the one who helps pushes others up and being the one who gives the compliments that I hadn't realized how much I needed it in return. I needed to be loved, more than just a friend.
For another thing (it goes in hand with the above statement), I'm more clingy than I realized I could be. Maybe I'm just so lonely and so empty that now I had a taste of true affection, I am despirate for it. I feel extreamly upset about the fact that I am this way. I souldn't be this needy. I should be strong and be able to handle being on my own like I have for the last couple years. Why am I suddenly unable to be strong? Maybe I am not really that strong.
I hit a slump. I have lost some faith in myself and my dreams. They seem to far away and unattainable now days. I feel like laying in bed and not waking up. But I want to hold onto to something strong, something to anchor me. Soemthing I can hold and depend on. And I hate feeling this way. I should be strong. But I can't help but feel small and like I am failing.
I haven't gotten much sleep at all lately. I'm suffering from insomnia....