Hn. :/
You know... I'm kind of tired of feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. It always seems like I say something wrong, something to piss her off, without meaning to. I REALLY don't mean to. I REALLY don't want to. She's one of my best friends. She's the only person I know who will RP anymore since Sarah decided she was too good for me. So I say something wrong, and she goes away, and I'm in a foul mood for the rest of the night, into the next day, and I'm really getting fucking sick of it. I'm sick of feeling depressed because of her.
It was bad enough when Sarah went. I miss her so much. I wonder sometimes if I'm being too selfish or stubborn in expecting some kind of apology from her. But seriously, she was being ridiculous. She snapped at me out of no where, told me she was never going to love me again, accused me of cheating on her when I did not. :/ Said she had it on "credible sources." Jesus christ, who the fuck is she going to believe? These "credible sources," or me, after knowing me for nearly 5 years? And then after NOT BEING TOGETHER for 2 years, she's dumps all this on me. Like I was expecting her to ever love me again, like I was asking for anything more than friendship from her. Had she been carrying all that shit around for 2 fucking years? Continuing to talk to me and laugh with me and RP with me, and all the while, she secretly resented -- or dare I say, hated -- me?
She goes off on me like that, makes me cry, and then expects me to be fine with everything when she IMs me again the next day. No. I want an apology. I DESERVE an apology. I did NOTHING to deserve that outburst, short of asking her how her day was. "Hey, how are you?" elicited a torrent of profanities and long-buried hatred. What the hell? And yet, I miss her. A lot. Sometimes I want to IM her and just ask her how she's been, but I know that won't work. She's probably a lot happier without me around anyway.
But whatever. I went shopping today... or rather, Jason and I took Ethan shopping. Ethan wanted to get his stepdad a CD for Christmas. I was surprised, the mall wasn't as packed as I thought it would be. Then again, that's not the more popular of the two malls in this area. I guess everyone was over at Berkshire, and screw Fairgrounds and its Puerto Ricans, right? There was no Santa Claus though, which I thought was very odd. You'd think that he'd be there all day this close to Christmas, yet he hasn't been there at all the past few times I've been there. A mystery indeed.
I wanted to go see Eragon tonight, but I think it would be better to hold off on that until after Christmas, when I'm sure I've got everything done and all my shopping accounted for. ...not like I have any money left anyway. I was fired from Penske last Monday, and all the money Jason has, he's trying to save for my Christmas present. It has me absolutely giddy. He hasn't told me what it is yet, but he says he wants to take me somewhere. ^_^ Hmm. I really have no clue. It's exciting to be surprised for once. At any rate, Eragon will have to wait. I'm sure it will be in the theaters for a while yet.
I wrapped all of our presents tonight. I don't think there's anything left to be wrapped, unless Mom does more shopping before Christmas. We still have assloads of paper though, so it's not like it really matters. We got 8 rolls of wrapping paper, and I only finished off 2 tonight. I would really like to volunteer with gift wrapping at the mall, but that all depends on whether or not the Berks Senior Council -- who runs the gift-wrapping joint -- calls me back anytime soon. It would be wonderful to have something to do during the day. Maybe tomorrow I'll pick up Amy before I go running around, and then we'll both have someone to keep us company. n.n Poor Amy. Alone in the apartment all day. I keep meaning to go hang out with her.
That reminds me, I need to go visit Nanny Layman sometime this week. I'll bring some of the cookies I made over to her, so she can be all happy and tell me how good they are. ^_^
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14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
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16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie?
20. A million bucks to spare.. what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Ever had a dream with me in it?
24. Can you sing or dance?
25. BE HONEST! In one word, how would you describe me?
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It was bad enough when Sarah went. I miss her so much. I wonder sometimes if I'm being too selfish or stubborn in expecting some kind of apology from her. But seriously, she was being ridiculous. She snapped at me out of no where, told me she was never going to love me again, accused me of cheating on her when I did not. :/ Said she had it on "credible sources." Jesus christ, who the fuck is she going to believe? These "credible sources," or me, after knowing me for nearly 5 years? And then after NOT BEING TOGETHER for 2 years, she's dumps all this on me. Like I was expecting her to ever love me again, like I was asking for anything more than friendship from her. Had she been carrying all that shit around for 2 fucking years? Continuing to talk to me and laugh with me and RP with me, and all the while, she secretly resented -- or dare I say, hated -- me?
She goes off on me like that, makes me cry, and then expects me to be fine with everything when she IMs me again the next day. No. I want an apology. I DESERVE an apology. I did NOTHING to deserve that outburst, short of asking her how her day was. "Hey, how are you?" elicited a torrent of profanities and long-buried hatred. What the hell? And yet, I miss her. A lot. Sometimes I want to IM her and just ask her how she's been, but I know that won't work. She's probably a lot happier without me around anyway.
But whatever. I went shopping today... or rather, Jason and I took Ethan shopping. Ethan wanted to get his stepdad a CD for Christmas. I was surprised, the mall wasn't as packed as I thought it would be. Then again, that's not the more popular of the two malls in this area. I guess everyone was over at Berkshire, and screw Fairgrounds and its Puerto Ricans, right? There was no Santa Claus though, which I thought was very odd. You'd think that he'd be there all day this close to Christmas, yet he hasn't been there at all the past few times I've been there. A mystery indeed.
I wanted to go see Eragon tonight, but I think it would be better to hold off on that until after Christmas, when I'm sure I've got everything done and all my shopping accounted for. ...not like I have any money left anyway. I was fired from Penske last Monday, and all the money Jason has, he's trying to save for my Christmas present. It has me absolutely giddy. He hasn't told me what it is yet, but he says he wants to take me somewhere. ^_^ Hmm. I really have no clue. It's exciting to be surprised for once. At any rate, Eragon will have to wait. I'm sure it will be in the theaters for a while yet.
I wrapped all of our presents tonight. I don't think there's anything left to be wrapped, unless Mom does more shopping before Christmas. We still have assloads of paper though, so it's not like it really matters. We got 8 rolls of wrapping paper, and I only finished off 2 tonight. I would really like to volunteer with gift wrapping at the mall, but that all depends on whether or not the Berks Senior Council -- who runs the gift-wrapping joint -- calls me back anytime soon. It would be wonderful to have something to do during the day. Maybe tomorrow I'll pick up Amy before I go running around, and then we'll both have someone to keep us company. n.n Poor Amy. Alone in the apartment all day. I keep meaning to go hang out with her.
That reminds me, I need to go visit Nanny Layman sometime this week. I'll bring some of the cookies I made over to her, so she can be all happy and tell me how good they are. ^_^
Fill this out if you <3 me.
1.Your Full Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Worst Habit:
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Pessimistic or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. Hot or Cold Weather?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. Would you have my back or kick me when I'm down?
9. Do you think I'm a good person?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Would you come over to yell at me or just call?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If I only had one day to live would you be honest or lie?
20. A million bucks to spare.. what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Ever had a dream with me in it?
24. Can you sing or dance?
25. BE HONEST! In one word, how would you describe me?
26. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?