What do you even want
Kamesen: *sitting on couch, staring at the t.v.*
Mario: *asleep facedown on the couch, snoring into a bag of pork rinds*
Ad: Tell Obama to STOP SPENDING and CUT THE DEFICIT. This will BRING BACK JOBS.
Kamesen: *eyes slowly widen* Hurk-... *reaches up, touches nose, sees blood on fingers*
Mario: Znjksbv.. mm? *sits up* Zup..
Kamesen: *shaking*
Mario: ...
Kamesen: EeeeeeuuuuurrrrRRRRGHHHHHH-
Mario: Uh oh..
Kamesen: GYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-------AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH *destroys the room with a Super Saiyan-esque shockwave, his scream of rage carrying far and wide*
(ten miles away)
Kurenai: *about to stab a guard in the throat* ..*looks around* What the..
Guard: Huh?
Kurenai: Aw damnit *stabs him*
(100 miles away)
Child: *eating ice cream, but the ice cream falls off the cone*
Child: FUCK
(ten light years away)
Samus: *blasting metroids* What in.. *takes her helmet off and listens* Damn he's pissed.
Person: *watching t.v.* Yeah! Obama SHOULD cut the spending! And that would solve the deficit, yeah! And it would bring back jobs, yeah!
Kamesen: *explodes through the person's wall, grinning tightly and breathing hard*
Person: AAAAAH
Kamesen: *stomps over* YOU THINK OBAMA SHOULD CUT THE SPENDING, EH? DO YOU? REALLY?
Person: Y..yes.. It would solve everything, just like the commercial said.
Kamesen: *inhales very deelpy and slowly, eyes widening*
Person: ...am I going to die...?
Kamesen: *whips out a phone* HEY. OBAMA. CUT THE SPENDING. .. ..YEAH I GUESS WE DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE. GOVERNMENT IS 'TOO BIG', IT SEEMS. YEP. YEAH. OK THANKS. YEP YOU TOO. SEE YA.
Person: Yay now everything will be fixed?
Kamesen: *somehow grins even wider, clapping a hand onto the person's shoulder* Wait and see.
(two seconds later)
*roads are breaking apart, subway trains are derailing and causing enormous catastrophies, planes are falling out of the sky*
Person: What the hell's going on?!
Kamesen: Oops, that's RIGHT! The GOVERNMENT spends money to maintain travel within the U.S!
Billy: I'm home.
Person: BILLY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?!
Billy: My school fell apart and all the teachers quit.
Person: I-..but..
Kamesen: *inspecting his fingernails* Public education. Government.
Billy: The last thing I learned in history class is that America was defeated in Afghanistan.
Person: WHAT?!
Kamesen: Military.. also government.
Person: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
Kamesen: Hah hah hah. Don't worry. At least the deficit has stopped growing!
Person: And.. job.. creation?
Kamesen: *another giant grin* What made you think that companies hiring new employees had anything to do with government spending?
Person: ..the commercial.
Kamesen: Right. It's the government's fault that a corporation refuses to hire new workers, right?
Person: ..Ri-
Kamesen: WRONG. Obama doesn't read your resume when you send it to potential employers. So I'm confounded as to why people are complaining to him about why they can't get a job.
Mario: Well if we reversed the deficit and boosted the economy, people would spend more money on services, and companies would HAVE to hire more employees then.
Kamesen: More likely they would continue on as they are now, working skeleton crews to death and reaping the profits. Fuckers.
Mario: This is also true.
Person: Actually.. if we went to war, that could stimulate the economy..
Kamesen: I can't believe you just said that. You want to cut spending, and yet you want to INCREASE spending by funding a war. Guess where most of our tax dollars go? I'll give you a BIG HINT. It's DEFENSE. The MILITARY. WAR. And guess what Obama is doing to help lower defense costs? ENDING. WARS.
Samus: *pops in* Kind of ironic that so many people are wailing about the dangers of big government, and yet those same people are war-mongering folks who seem to forget that the military is a facet of the government itself.
Kamesen: Super ironic. They scream at Obama to cut spending, and yet hitting spending at its biggest source is not enough for them, I guess.
Mario: Pff. Let's not beat around the bush. The real reason that so many people don't want him in office is because he's black and he has a foreign-sounding last name.
Princess Peach: And the whole gay and womens' rights thing.
Mario: Yeah that too.
Person: But unemployment is still so high..
Kamesen: Man, you and your damn unemployment! I could create a MILLION new jobs, but it doesn't matter! No one can force a company to HIRE new employees for those new jobs! You want to know the other reason unemployment is so high?! BECAUSE THE DAMN POPULATION IS SO HIGH.
Mario: Ooooh here we go.
Kamesen: The nation is saturated with an overabundance of bodies, and corporations DON'T NEED THEM, because they've figured out how to function with just a few people and still get by. That saves THEM money, and allows THEM to enjoy cushy lifestyles while we wail and grate our teeth and beat our breasts and whatnot.
Person: Oh yeah?! Well what's YOUR idea for ending the deficit, then?!
Kamesen: HEH! *cracks knuckles*
Mario: *sighs, grabs popcorn*
Kamesen: Get the fuck out of Afghanistan, for one. On the large scale, anyway. We came, we saw, we killed Bin Laden. Time to go home. Yeah we've got enemies there, but they can go fuck themselves. Withdraw the majority of our military forces. Tanks and planes and boats are expensive to maintain out there. So are armies. Leave behind a network of strike teams and a small mobile base or two to clean up the remaining extremist faction leaders under the cover of stealth. On the home front, flat tax for everyone, heavily enforced. Zero loopholes. For example, a flat 15% tax for all citizens. So if I make $1000 in a paycheck, I pay $150. If someone else makes $150 in a paycheck, they pay $22.50. And if someone makes $250,000 in a paycheck, they pay $37,500. Fair is fair. Legalize weed and prostitution. Let's stop pretending that there aren't men who pay for sex and toke up. Making it illegal isn't making it any less desirable. No one's stopping you from judging people who pay for sex and smoke weed. By all means, go to church and pray for their souls. But in the meantime, there's a shit ton of money to be made.
Princess Peach: But KAMESEN! Are you saying you would partake in all that?!
Kamesen: Nah. I prefer alcohol myself, and prostitution goes against my morals. But I don't let my morals dictate what other people do, so. There you have it.
Person: That's.. so horrible..
Kamesen: Would you rather have people smoking weed bought from Mexico and powering their bloodthirsty cartels, and prostitutes fearing for their lives and being beaten by their pimps?
Person: No.
Kamesen: Well that's what we've got now. And making frowny faces at it has done absolutely shit to get rid of it. So a better option would be to take over the operations and regulate them.
Kurenai: *swings in* You could always destroy the cartels from the inside-out using covert ops, destroy the weed crop and poison it so that no more weed could grow anywhere, ever, and influence men to reign in their libido so that they would not be tempted to seek sex from prostitutes.
Kamesen: Where the hell did you get THOSE ideas?
Kurenai: That's something you would have said a few years ago when you were a disillusioned youth who thought that the world could potentially be a nice place.
Kamesen: Yeah well I'm all jaded and shit now.
Person: Can I just go please
Kamesen: You can gooooo..
Person: ..
Kamesen: ..fuck yourself. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Mario: AAAAHAHAHAHHAA!!
Samus: Heh.
Peach: Heeheeheehee!
Kurenai: Hoh hoh hooooo that's so not funny.
Kamesen: Yeah well anyway.
Mario: *asleep facedown on the couch, snoring into a bag of pork rinds*
Ad: Tell Obama to STOP SPENDING and CUT THE DEFICIT. This will BRING BACK JOBS.
Kamesen: *eyes slowly widen* Hurk-... *reaches up, touches nose, sees blood on fingers*
Mario: Znjksbv.. mm? *sits up* Zup..
Kamesen: *shaking*
Mario: ...
Kamesen: EeeeeeuuuuurrrrRRRRGHHHHHH-
Mario: Uh oh..
Kamesen: GYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-------AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH *destroys the room with a Super Saiyan-esque shockwave, his scream of rage carrying far and wide*
(ten miles away)
Kurenai: *about to stab a guard in the throat* ..*looks around* What the..
Guard: Huh?
Kurenai: Aw damnit *stabs him*
(100 miles away)
Child: *eating ice cream, but the ice cream falls off the cone*
Child: FUCK
(ten light years away)
Samus: *blasting metroids* What in.. *takes her helmet off and listens* Damn he's pissed.
Person: *watching t.v.* Yeah! Obama SHOULD cut the spending! And that would solve the deficit, yeah! And it would bring back jobs, yeah!
Kamesen: *explodes through the person's wall, grinning tightly and breathing hard*
Person: AAAAAH
Kamesen: *stomps over* YOU THINK OBAMA SHOULD CUT THE SPENDING, EH? DO YOU? REALLY?
Person: Y..yes.. It would solve everything, just like the commercial said.
Kamesen: *inhales very deelpy and slowly, eyes widening*
Person: ...am I going to die...?
Kamesen: *whips out a phone* HEY. OBAMA. CUT THE SPENDING. .. ..YEAH I GUESS WE DON'T NEED IT ANYMORE. GOVERNMENT IS 'TOO BIG', IT SEEMS. YEP. YEAH. OK THANKS. YEP YOU TOO. SEE YA.
Person: Yay now everything will be fixed?
Kamesen: *somehow grins even wider, clapping a hand onto the person's shoulder* Wait and see.
(two seconds later)
*roads are breaking apart, subway trains are derailing and causing enormous catastrophies, planes are falling out of the sky*
Person: What the hell's going on?!
Kamesen: Oops, that's RIGHT! The GOVERNMENT spends money to maintain travel within the U.S!
Billy: I'm home.
Person: BILLY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?!
Billy: My school fell apart and all the teachers quit.
Person: I-..but..
Kamesen: *inspecting his fingernails* Public education. Government.
Billy: The last thing I learned in history class is that America was defeated in Afghanistan.
Person: WHAT?!
Kamesen: Military.. also government.
Person: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
Kamesen: Hah hah hah. Don't worry. At least the deficit has stopped growing!
Person: And.. job.. creation?
Kamesen: *another giant grin* What made you think that companies hiring new employees had anything to do with government spending?
Person: ..the commercial.
Kamesen: Right. It's the government's fault that a corporation refuses to hire new workers, right?
Person: ..Ri-
Kamesen: WRONG. Obama doesn't read your resume when you send it to potential employers. So I'm confounded as to why people are complaining to him about why they can't get a job.
Mario: Well if we reversed the deficit and boosted the economy, people would spend more money on services, and companies would HAVE to hire more employees then.
Kamesen: More likely they would continue on as they are now, working skeleton crews to death and reaping the profits. Fuckers.
Mario: This is also true.
Person: Actually.. if we went to war, that could stimulate the economy..
Kamesen: I can't believe you just said that. You want to cut spending, and yet you want to INCREASE spending by funding a war. Guess where most of our tax dollars go? I'll give you a BIG HINT. It's DEFENSE. The MILITARY. WAR. And guess what Obama is doing to help lower defense costs? ENDING. WARS.
Samus: *pops in* Kind of ironic that so many people are wailing about the dangers of big government, and yet those same people are war-mongering folks who seem to forget that the military is a facet of the government itself.
Kamesen: Super ironic. They scream at Obama to cut spending, and yet hitting spending at its biggest source is not enough for them, I guess.
Mario: Pff. Let's not beat around the bush. The real reason that so many people don't want him in office is because he's black and he has a foreign-sounding last name.
Princess Peach: And the whole gay and womens' rights thing.
Mario: Yeah that too.
Person: But unemployment is still so high..
Kamesen: Man, you and your damn unemployment! I could create a MILLION new jobs, but it doesn't matter! No one can force a company to HIRE new employees for those new jobs! You want to know the other reason unemployment is so high?! BECAUSE THE DAMN POPULATION IS SO HIGH.
Mario: Ooooh here we go.
Kamesen: The nation is saturated with an overabundance of bodies, and corporations DON'T NEED THEM, because they've figured out how to function with just a few people and still get by. That saves THEM money, and allows THEM to enjoy cushy lifestyles while we wail and grate our teeth and beat our breasts and whatnot.
Person: Oh yeah?! Well what's YOUR idea for ending the deficit, then?!
Kamesen: HEH! *cracks knuckles*
Mario: *sighs, grabs popcorn*
Kamesen: Get the fuck out of Afghanistan, for one. On the large scale, anyway. We came, we saw, we killed Bin Laden. Time to go home. Yeah we've got enemies there, but they can go fuck themselves. Withdraw the majority of our military forces. Tanks and planes and boats are expensive to maintain out there. So are armies. Leave behind a network of strike teams and a small mobile base or two to clean up the remaining extremist faction leaders under the cover of stealth. On the home front, flat tax for everyone, heavily enforced. Zero loopholes. For example, a flat 15% tax for all citizens. So if I make $1000 in a paycheck, I pay $150. If someone else makes $150 in a paycheck, they pay $22.50. And if someone makes $250,000 in a paycheck, they pay $37,500. Fair is fair. Legalize weed and prostitution. Let's stop pretending that there aren't men who pay for sex and toke up. Making it illegal isn't making it any less desirable. No one's stopping you from judging people who pay for sex and smoke weed. By all means, go to church and pray for their souls. But in the meantime, there's a shit ton of money to be made.
Princess Peach: But KAMESEN! Are you saying you would partake in all that?!
Kamesen: Nah. I prefer alcohol myself, and prostitution goes against my morals. But I don't let my morals dictate what other people do, so. There you have it.
Person: That's.. so horrible..
Kamesen: Would you rather have people smoking weed bought from Mexico and powering their bloodthirsty cartels, and prostitutes fearing for their lives and being beaten by their pimps?
Person: No.
Kamesen: Well that's what we've got now. And making frowny faces at it has done absolutely shit to get rid of it. So a better option would be to take over the operations and regulate them.
Kurenai: *swings in* You could always destroy the cartels from the inside-out using covert ops, destroy the weed crop and poison it so that no more weed could grow anywhere, ever, and influence men to reign in their libido so that they would not be tempted to seek sex from prostitutes.
Kamesen: Where the hell did you get THOSE ideas?
Kurenai: That's something you would have said a few years ago when you were a disillusioned youth who thought that the world could potentially be a nice place.
Kamesen: Yeah well I'm all jaded and shit now.
Person: Can I just go please
Kamesen: You can gooooo..
Person: ..
Kamesen: ..fuck yourself. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Mario: AAAAHAHAHAHHAA!!
Samus: Heh.
Peach: Heeheeheehee!
Kurenai: Hoh hoh hooooo that's so not funny.
Kamesen: Yeah well anyway.