the low down...
christmas woes...
mom's heart constantly broke nursing these kids in "Kulana Malama," a home for youth with long term health care needs (where i will carol in a moment). she quit.
sister's heart constantly broken having to spend time away from her daughter, about to turn 1, while she was sick and needing her mother. she quit.
aunt's heart, and bank account, broken by evil palauan. super grandma to the rescue, will pay aunt's bills at the sacrifice of her own. super kona to the rescue, will help grandma even though in no condition to.
conclusion... no money to speak of. shitty first christmas for my niece. no first birthday celebration, a time honored and cultural tradition, for my niece.
relationship woes...
concluded in the past, "may not be able to foster, and definitely will not be able to maintain a healthy relationship." Ikona has come first in so many things in the last five years, things i still am not certain he should have come first in. in the past five years, i have put him above my family, my work, and my friends. how did it go so wrong. perhaps the truth has not sunk in,or perhaps i am denying it.
conclusion... must accept that it is over.
