A piece of Kame for yukitsubute (2/2)
*********************
They ride in silence. Comfortable silence…
Kame’s attention drawn to the serene night, admiring in the dancing street lights as the smooth instrumental songs sway their mood.
“I never imagined you’re into classical music” Kame chuckles as he silently mocking Matsumoto’s taste in music. Who would have thought the almighty and haughty so-called evil boss is such a softie inside.
“Nah, I’m just trying to get you in the mood” he answers playfully, lips curving into a delicious smirk “Is it working?”
“Try harder” he jokes lightly, enjoying the ease.
“I will” Matsumoto breaks into a smile, so abruptly it triggers uninviting emotions in Kame,
Feeling the sudden rush creeping on his cheeks, Kame did what he knows best; changing the topic “Dinner was great. Thanks.”
Amused, Matsumoto played along; eyes return to the busy street “It was my pleasure” whilst turning the wheel, he gave out a signal and pulls the car into a halt in front of a posh building. Kame’s apartment “Well, after dragging you to all those parks, the least I can do is feed you.”
Hair swirls fluffily as Kame shakes his head, hands carefully unfasten the seat belt “Don’t mention it. I’m glad everything sorted out. Just hope the Management Meeting tomorrow goes on smoothly.”
“Don’t worry. I have your back” Matsumoto flashes his infamous smirk, releasing his own safety belt.
Bursting into enchanted laughter, Kame replies jovially “That sounds so wrong coming from you.”
“Oh I believe it sound perfectly right” Matsumoto challenged, eyes staring into Kame’s soul expectantly “You know, there are so many questions running in my head right now. And for some reason, I know you are aware of it”
“I might have some hints” Kame admits, defiant and annoyed at his ridiculous heart beats. But seeing the encouraging smile and willful stare, he hesitantly caved in.
Kame takes his time in finding the right words and courage to open up, knowing well he might be judged once he does it “Have you ever loved someone that was totally wrong for you? You know it's wrong but it feels so right.”
Matsumoto stays in complete silence. His hands cautiously reach for Kame’s, ghostly touching him.
“He was my first love. And I thought he’ll be the last. But…” Kame’s voice trailed in sadness, letting the warmth offer by the other seeping in, encouraging “He’s married now and he’ll be a father soon” another pause. Inhaling slowly, he adds in even softer voice “And I want out. I just don’t know how. Will I succeed?”
The question left unanswered as Matsumoto pulls Kame into his arms, lips inches away as he whispers “Who said you have to do this alone?”
Matsumoto's fingers travel, slipping in tendrils of hair before gingerly trailing Kame’s slender shoulder, insistent and prodding. Then he stops, eyes dark with desire but hinted with vulnerability as he waits for Kame to meet him half way.
And Kame did, lifting his chin enough to one side, closes his eyes as their lips met. The kiss is uncertain, feather-light, and almost not there at all. Kame pulls back a little, licks his lips nervously, and leans in again.
They stay in each other arms for a long moment, simply breathing in each other scents and Kame wonders if Matsumoto can hear his pounding heart.
But as they slowly pull apart, Matsumoto sees the insecurities in Kame’s eyes “Stop thinking too much.”
“Hmm…” he hums to himself. Hands clasp on his laps nervously, and then in a tiny voice he adds, “I thought you’re going to hate me”
“For being foolishly in love?” he asks softly, brushing away the soft tendrils falling across Kame’s forehead.
“Foolish?” Kame frowns “That’s too kind of you. I’m a home-wrecker.”
Abruptly Jun grabs Kame’s shoulder and firmly turns him around “Now, listen to me. I don’t care about your past and I don’t know who the stupid bastard that broke your heart. But one thing for sure I’m going to snatch his place in your heart. Soon you’ll be thinking of me…Only me.”
Silence follows.
Few seconds later, Kame’s lips curves into a beautiful smile “You’re really confident aren’t you?”
“Shouldn’t I be?” Matsumoto gloats in a wicked grin.
And to his amazement, Kame shakes his head and reply in a calm voice “If it’s you, I believe you can.”
Kame’s answer took away his words.
And when he finally composed himself, Kame cuts him off again with a ridiculously shy and hesitant smile “Do you want to come up?”
Swallowing hard, Matsumoto unexpectedly shakes his head “I would love to, but not tonight. I believe you may have things to sort out.”
Looking at him with a blank face, Kame nods silently; hating himself for feeling so clingy “Goodnight then” he says, trying to hide his disappointment.
But before Kame could reach for the door, Matsumoto pulls him back for another sudden kiss. And it is nothing like the almost chaste kiss they shared a moment ago. Matsumoto tongue ran across Kame's bottom lip and Kame half-groaned, half-gasped, parting his mouth to grant Matsumoto entrance.
They were completely breathless when they pull away eyes darken with desire “Will you invite me to your place again?”
Not trusting his own voice and afraid his heart will jumps out, Kame nods obediently.
Then Matsumoto leans in to open the dash board, pulling a familiar device out “Sorry for keeping this too long.”
Kame chuckles, realizing that he had totally forgotten about it “Thanks again for the weekend. I better get going now.”
“There’s one more thing I need to tell you” Matsumoto says “Remember this morning when you were freaking out because you woke up in my bed.”
“Yes” Kame replies hesitantly, remembering how worried he was, waking up in a foreign room, with Matsumoto’s sleeping face next to his pillow.
“And I told you that nothing happen” Matsumoto nervously massage his nape; an uncharacteristic expression.
Kame nods, licking his lips, not sure he wanted to hear the rest of the story.
“Well, I lied” he smiles sheepishly before adding “I kissed you while you were sleeping. A love charm to keep you safe”
He blinks in disbelief. Trying to maintain a straight face, Kame asks further “Is that all?”
Matsumoto adds with a devilish grin “For now.”
***************************
The elevator opens with a loud thud, revealing a lightly dimmed corridor. As he steps out of the confined space, Kame’s lazy steps echoed, his small figure wobbled slightly as he tried to balance the bags in both hand. His steps halted halfway, seeing a familiar silhouette leaning on his wooden door.
“Jin, what are you doing here?” Kame exclaims in shock, trying to hide his troubled face. He quickens his steps, eyes fixed on the disheveled looking guy.
“Where have you been? I was worried sick” the guy stands straight, pulling Kame’s body in a tight embrace “I’ve waited and called you the whole night” Jin’s hands roam on Kame’s back, feeling him, sending warm sensation in his every touch. Kame tightens his grips on the bags, pursing his lips to prevent any unwanted sound escapes from his throat.
“Stop it Jin. The neighbors might see us” Kame pushes him away, feeling his body reacted to Jin’s touches. It’s the first time Jin comes to his home though they agreed not to pry on each other personal space when they first started their rendezvous. But Kame can’t deny, it did make him a bit happy seeing how worried the other guy is. Quickly pulls his key out, Kame slips it into the slot, rushing to open it.
Jin leans in and whispers into Kame’s ears “I miss you.”
Kame shivers, hating himself for being weak. No matter how hard he tried, he knows well how submissive he is under Jin’s advances. His heart beats faster, trying to deny the heat wave sensed under his skins.
Stepping into the dark living room hurriedly, he reaches for the light “This is the living room. Sorry it’s a bit messy. Been really busy with this major project I’m handling” He always talks a lot when he’s nervous. But the mentioned of work makes his heart sink, remembering the brooding lazy smiles that greeted him for the past weeks. He cautiously puts his stuff on the empty table and turns around “I’ll make you some coffee” he left Jin without further words, heading straight to the kitchen.
He needs to calm down.
As soon as the kitchen lighted up, Kame leans his back on the cold wall, breathing deeply “I can do this” he mumbled to himself, fingers curled into a tight fist.
Finally composed, Kame crosses the small kitchen, standing on his toes to reach for the white kettle. Then while waiting for it to be filled with the filtered water, Kame’s mind wanders on Matsumoto’s earlier words… I believe you may have something to sort out.
Waiting for the hot water, Kame opens another cabinet, reaching for his fav mugs. But before he could reach for it, his body jerks backward as Jin pins him to the mirror doors refrigerator, watching the colorful magnets scattered to the floor.
Leaning his weight on Kame’s rigid body, Jin starts kissing him hungrily, ignoring Kame muffled protest as he continues to unbutton Kame' shirt, revealing the tensed muscles.
“Please stop” Kame pleads under his breath, squeezing himself beneath Jin. He had always been physically and emotionally defenseless when it comes to Jin. But tonight, he refuses to give it, Kame grabs Jin's hand and shoves the older guy away “Jin, I mean it.”
“But you always like it rough” Jin pushes him harder, sounds amused, pinning both Kame’s arms to the cold glass door, ravishing Kame’s naked skin.
“Please Jin, we need to talk” Kame begs, voice trembled as his body betrayed him. Hot flushes colored his cheeks.
“We can talk later” Jin dismisses and noting Kame’s harden under his touch. Kame’s shirt drapes off his tired shoulder, Jin’s fingers trailing playfully on Kame’s waistline. .
Then with all the strength in him, Kame rolls sideway freeing himself from the Jin’s strong grip, shirt crumbled to the floor. “Stop it” he shouts.
Surprise by the malice in Kame’s tone, Jin took a step back, eyeing the guy curiously “Kame, what’s wrong. I thought you…”
Kame bends down and picks up his wrinkled shirt “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” Jin’s voice soften, hands gently reaching out for the other. But suddenly it turns violent, roughly grabbing and pulls Kame’s arms, staring at his right shoulder. “What’s that?”
As soon as Jin loosens his hold, Kame turns his back around and twists his neck to stare at his own reflection on the refrigerator door. A small foreign red marks tainted his pale shoulder.
“Is that a hickey?” Jin asks accusingly “Is that a fucking hickey?”
Kame stares at the reflection silently; then a frown curves into a soft smile “It’s a love charm.”
“Huh?” Jin huffs before his face darken “Are you seeing someone else?”
Kame shakes his head, slipping in his shirts and buttoning it cautiously. He inhales deeply; forming words calmly “I’m not seeing anyone. But I really want to.”
“Kame ~ I love you. I don’t want to…”
“Jin, let’s have a talk. I’ll bring in the coffee” Kame cuts him off, gently touches his arms as he walks pass him, switching off to the simmering kettle.
******************
Half emptied mugs are left untouched.
The small wind chime rhymes faintly as the cold spring breezes rushing in through the half open sliding door, blowing the apple green curtain freely.
Jin settles on the couch, arching his back on the fluffy leather.
Pulling the big cushion from under the table, Kame settles on the floor, legs curled under him, leaning closer next to Jin, resting his head on the older guy’s knee. Jin runs his fingers through Kame’s messy curls, massaging lightly.
“Do you remember our first summer trip?” Kame breaks the silence.
“Summer 2005, Okinawa” Jin replies briefly, stroking Kame’s hair gently.
“I hated that trip” Kame laughs lightly.
“Eh? I thought you love it” Jin stops his action, slight confused by the sudden confession.
Kame tilts his head up, smiling sweetly at Jin “I lied.”
Staring into the brown orbs, Jin asks “Why?”
“You seemed so happy, showing me all those places, trying the local food and splashing under the sun; I don’t have the heart to tell you that I’ve been to Okinawa almost every year with my family” Kame chuckles to himself “And do you know what else I hate, Frat parties. I just don’t get it why they throw all those parties every week and why the need to get wasted every night. Oh, and I also hate horror movies and have no interest whatsoever in soccer.”
“Kame…” Jin’s mumbles, looking quite hurt by the sudden confession “What are you trying to tell me?”
Kame wiggles himself from the cushion and lifts himself up, sitting inches away from Jin “I lied because I love you. I love you too much to be myself, worrying that you would not like me the way I was.”
Jin stretches his arms and snakes it around Kame’s shoulder “But I would love you no matter what.”
Kame smiles quietly, snuggling closer “Jin, I was never myself when I was with you. When I lost you, I lost myself along the way. It took me awhile to figure it out” he tilts his head, searching for an answer in Jin’s eyes “You love her, don’t you?”
“I love you” he replies, staring deep into Kame’s soul.
Shaking his head lightly, Kame sighs “I’m just a past you can’t let go.”
“That’s not true” he denies, voice strained.
“It’s not your fault. I was the one clinging to the past, refusing to move on” Kame rests his head on Jin’s shoulder, eyes glistening in raw emotions “I was the one holding you back.”
“Kame…”
“Both of us deserve a second chance to be happy” Kame paused, then adds with a softer voice “With someone else.”
Long silence follows, letting the memories of their younger years flash in front of their eyes. The first date, the first kiss; snuggling close in winter nights and watching the stars in summer. Then Kame felt hot tears streaming down his face knowing this will be the last time. He doesn't have to look at Jin to know that the other is too. They are finally moving on.
******************
“You look like shit” Matsumoto says, stepping into the conference room, letting the glass door shuts behind.
Not bothering to look up from the projector setting, Kame scoffs “Good morning to you too.”
Matsumoto slides into the empty leather seat next to him, eyes fixed on Kame’s tired face “Long night?”
His lips curve slightly “You would like to know, wouldn’t you?”
The projector finally flashes the power point presentation. Kame quickly adjusts the color and zoom-in features, feeling slightly nervous to present it to the board of directors.
Matsumoto pouts at Kame lack of response. Looking vacantly out of the 49th floor glass window, he asks hesitantly “Everything sorted out?”
Kame purses his lips into a thin line and nods.
Then, in front of own eyes, the most beautiful smile he ever seen plastered on the young director’s lips “Then, would you like to join me for lunch.”
“I don’t go out for lunch” Kame replies in a chuckle.
“That can be arranged. We’ll order take out then” he says, eyes gleaming excitedly. Then with a lower seductive tone, he adds “In my office. It has a better view than yours.”
The chair creaks lightly as he leans closer, lips inches away from Kame’s. But he pulls back abruptly when a sudden knock interrupts their moment.
“The board directors will be joining soon. They are wrapping up their meeting now” Erika announces before leaving them alone.
“You know, for a secretary, she has the worst timing ever” Matsumoto says in a serious tone.
“Can’t agree with you more” Kame laughs heartily at the statement.
******************
June 2013… A sunny day for a garden wedding…
“How do I look?” Kame asks as he stares at his own reflection on the full length mirror in the waiting room, donning a white satin button-down shirt with a double-breasted Italian suits.
“Gorgeous” Matsumoto leans in and plants a peck on his cheeks. Clad in an expensive exquisite checkered tux, he looks just as dashing as the other.
Kame wiggles his nose, staring at flowers and scented candles cramping the spacious room. He then walks carefully to the window, nervously peeking out through the blinds scanning the crowd that has started to fill in “Is this really alright?”
“Of course” Matsumoto answers quickly, slumping himself on the fancy looking couch, and gesturing for Kame to join him on it.
Obliged, Kame settles in beside him, sighing deeply “I just don’t want to ruin the event. Especially for your family and…”
“Everyone loves you” Matsumoto cuts him off as he slides his arms around Kame’s shoulder and tugs him closer “You worried too much. See, those wrinkles have multiplied.”
Rolling his eyes, Kame playfully shoves Matsumoto away “You’re too carefree for your own good.”
“I have a secret weapon that allows me to do whatever I want and to be with whoever I choose” Matsumoto pulls Kame closer.
“Oh, pray tell” Kame replies sarcastically, dodging Matsumoto’s roaming fingers.
“I’m good in what I do. And being the best means I’m invisible” he let out an evil laughter, echoes in the room.
Kame simply shakes his head, knowing too well arguing will be in vain.
Then in a much sober tone, the older guy says to Kame “While we are on it, I have a confession to make.”
“A confession? Now?” he exclaims in amuse, quirking his brows.
“Do you remember during my welcoming party, I mentioned that I was expecting someone older as the Corporate Affair department’s head?”
“How could I forget” Kame rolls his eyes.
“Well, I lied. I already know it was you from the company’s annual report” he explains lightly, adding “I even read the boring article you wrote about the importance of integrity in upholding company’s image.”
“Are you trying to pick up a fight?” Kame asks with a pout.
Matsumoto laughs heartily “Not at all. But there’s more” he squeezes Kame “You know right that my family owned few hotels?”
“Yes” Kame tilts his head slightly, trying to read his boyfriend’s expression, not sure if he’s bragging or there’s really a story behind it.
“It was early last year. I was waiting for my dad in one of the hotel’s lobby when I first saw you. You were wearing that fav wool vest of yours” he chuckles to himself “But what caught my eyes was your gentle smile. It smile was beautiful, but sadly, it did not reach your eyes. I believe the douche-looking guy next to you was the very reason for it.”
Kame did not utter a single word, letting Matsumoto continue.
“Then I found out that you were one of the hotel’s guests, staying in for a conference” Matsumoto gently tugs Kame’s hair behind his ears “I did returned to the hotel the next day, hoping I can see you again, but the event already ended and you’ve left.”
He paused, letting the emotions simmer inside.
“And few months later, on my very first day as the Creative Director, I saw your smiling face again. You have no idea how explicitly happy I was for the second chance” he leans closer, gingerly grazes Kame’s lips.
“It is mine as well” Kame leans in and returned the kiss.
They lean next to each other, letting their fingers entwined.
A soft knock on the door follows by a thud, revealing Erika’s bubbly smiles poking from behind “They are calling for the best man.”
“Ahh, that’s my cue” Matsumoto stands up lazily, straightening his tux “I’ll see you later.” But half way through, he turns around and smiles “Have I told you today that, I love you?”
Not waiting for the answer, he left without further words. Erika rolls her eyes…Kame smiles proudly, cheeks shaded in pink.
Erika and Kame walk side by side, heading to the beautiful garden, decorated in lilac tulips and pink roses.
“You know, I was having a heart attack when he came into the office and gave me the wedding card” she says as they slip in the last row, next to Pi who seems busy chatting up a beautiful lady in red sitting next to him. She sounds French.
“He’s such a kid. A prankster” Kame smiles at the other guests; nods at few familiar faces.
“But you still love him” Erika teases.
Kame’s gaze fell onto the handsome smiling face, standing proudly at the altar next to the bridegroom. His heart flutters as he sheepishly replies to Erika “Yes, I do.”