A piece of Kame for maeda_marika
Title: Back To You
Pairing/Group: Jin/Kame [KAT-TUN]
Rating/Warnings: PG15
Summary: Jin and Kame are bestfriends. When Jin died in a car accident, he was given one chance to rejuvenate. Lending Koki Tanaka's body, Jin must be able to convince Kame in three days, that he is infact alive to be able to revive.
Note: Ideas came from Indonesian Drama, Love is Cinta.
When the school bell rang, echoing through the still-silent hallway, there were loud shouts and screams greeting it as if it was god. The sun wasn’t shining. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, looming ahead like a heavy curtain as rain pelted hard against the window panes. Nothing though dampened the mood enveloping the graduated third years that were crowding the fourth floor of the school building.
Jin stood alone, eyes crinkling as the rest of his classmates popped open a bottle of wine and set it spraying all over their heads. Jin looked sick - as if forlorn and dispirited. His hair was disarray and his skin, pale. His eyes searched the crowds, heart swelling as he saw the male he was looking for. The said male had his mouth open, in glorious laughter, lips stretched out into a beautiful smile. The wine he was playing with gave his cheeks a rosy glow; his soft, wet hair covering his eyes as he ran in circles in glee.
Jin’s eyes glistened as he saw the scene. “Kamenashi!” he called out, voice heavy and strained. “Kame!”
Kame turned around at the sound of his name. He peeked through his wet bangs, eyes meeting Jin’s. He tilted his head for a fraction of a second before a wide smile, which was only meant for Jin split across his flawless features. His eyes twinkled as he ran, pushing past the bustling students towards Jin.
Jin allowed a chuckle to escape his lips as he caught Kame when he slipped. “Sorry!” Kame exclaimed; voice sounding soft compared to the loud screams surrounding them. Jin shook his head as a reply, an amused smile adorning his plump lips. “Do you want to go out?” Kame asked, pointing down the stairs.
When Jin didn’t manage to catch what he was saying, he laughed, tugging on the 19 year old’s hand and leading him down the stairs. They were past by a group of giggling girls that tried to touch Jin for some unknown reason (probably a dare) and it wasn’t Kame’s fault that he set her off howling in pain as she grabbed her abused toe.
“Kame…” Jin said in a disapproving tone as Kame continued dragging him down the stairs as if nothing had happened.
Kame brought him down to the sheltered garden, shooing off the first years with a glare. Jin didn’t bother scolding him then. As soon as Kame let his hand go, Jin stared at his fingers for a while, hating the fact that it was cold then. “Are you okay?” a soft voice interrupted him. He looked up. Kame's eyes were wide and concern and he smiled softly.
“Come here,” Kame said, patting the empty space beside him. “Why are you standing?”
Jin hesitated. “Kame,” he repeated for the umpteenth time. Kame stood up, hands itching to touch Jin for some unknown reason.
“You- I…” Jin stammered.
“Spit it out, Jin,” Kame prodded. “I hate being curious.”
“Kame, I’m…”
“You’re…?”
“I’m moving,” Jin whispered. Kame tilted his head out of habit. Jin sighed because he knew Kame doesn’t understand. He just wished that he doesn’t have to explain it. “To America. I told you before, Kame. I’m studying there for five years.”
Kame’s eyes widened impossibly wider. He took a step back as if afraid of Jin. “When?” he murmured, almost inaudibly.
“It’ll only be for f-five years a-and-” Jin tried.
“When?” Kame repeated, more firmly than before.
“I’m moving tomorrow,” Jin finally answered, a little timidly. “Tomorrow is when.”
Kame’s eyes searched the taller male’s, as if waiting for him to tell him that it was a lie. Jin stepped forward, hands stretched, wanting to hold the petite male. “You’re...leaving tomorrow?” Kame choked a little on the last word. “To America?”
“Ye-”
“Great!” Kame shouted with forced happiness, interrupting Jin. “That’s good, no?”
“Kame,” Jin begged, eyes watering. “Don’t be like this.”
“You’re going to study in America!” Kame laughed bitterly. “You can’t forget me okay? When you become big and successful, you have to come back and remember that you had a friend called Kamenashi Kazuya!”
Jin sighed, face falling and stared at his shoe. Kame can be very hard sometimes. “We’ll be seeing less of each other,” he said softly. “Less…”
He heard Kame choked a little for the second time and he looked up. Kame had never been good with good byes and Jin doesn’t understand why he was acting that way. “You’ll miss me, won’t you?” he asked.
Kame stared. But he doesn’t falter. “There’ll be so much things happening. I’ll be going to the university too here. I’ll be too busy to miss you,” Kame said hastily, sounding as if he was convincing himself more rather than Jin himself. “Five years is nothing, right? Plus we can call each other. O-Or there’s webcamming. W-We can do that too.”
Jin nodded. He was at lost for words. With Kame acting as if he going wasn’t a big deal, all those overnight words he practiced to tell the male was stuck at the back of his throat. Jin doesn’t say a word as he stared at Kame, eyes sharp as if trying to etch the image of the flawless male into his mind more. He nodded his head once before turning around and leaving Kame there, speechless as he watched Jin’s back leaving him.
“I won’t be able to make it tomorrow!” he shouted.
Jin spun around. “What?” he asked.
“Tomorrow,” Kame repeated. “I won’t be able to make it to the airport to send you.”
If Jin had tried to be strong before, his already tired face fell at those words; that Kame almost wavered again. “It’s Yamapi’s birthday,” Kame reasoned. “I promised him I’ll be there.”
“You can’t come after you send me?” Jin tried desperately.
“I-no,” Kame resolved. “I can’t. It’ll be too much of a hassle to send you and then drive back to Pi’s house.”
“H-Hassle?” Jin repeated, voice cracking. This time, Kame did falter. But it was too late as Jin nodded his head again and ran off into the rain. Kame was sure he heard a small sniff and a roll of the tears before Jin left and he slapped himself across the face.
That night when Kame went to bed, he cried.
:::
The first day Jin met Kame was 10 years ago. Kame was a new transfer student from Osaka. He was the laughing stock of the school. Even at nine years old, Kame was a cry baby. Jin knocked his head over with a small notebook before he sat down beside Kame who was sulking in the gym hall.
Kame cried harder and Jin laughed. “Stop crying, you dork,” Jin smiled; all gums and teeth. Kame whined as he wrapped an arm around his waist and hauled Kame into his chest. Jin rolled his eyes as Kame grabbed his shirt and cried louder.
But Jin’s steady heartbeat and firm hands around him made Kame stopped. He looked up and sat up straight, not even bothered to apologize that he had left his snot and tears all over Jin. “Who are you?” he had asked.
Jin laughed again because he found Kame utterly adorable. “Jin,” he answered. And when Jin smiled again, Kame knew and Jin himself knew that they would be friends for a very long time.
Neither of them came out of the closet even as years past. However honestly, none of them felt gay. The thought of being with another male, sent shivers down their spines. It was just the thought of being with each other -together forever, in Kame’s dictionary- was perfect.
Most of their friends have asked when they would ever get together -right in their faces. They didn’t even blush. They looked at each other and shrugged. Honestly, they don’t even know the answer.
It was a silent understanding that Jin was the more dominant one despite Kame making most of their decisions -food, movies, etc. Jin was wiser, even from the start. He cared for Kame like no friend ever did. He loved Kame, more than Kame could ever imagine and he doesn’t rush their relationship. Because Kame, who was the more vocal one about his feelings didn’t say a word about it, he too kept his feelings quiet.
Jin’s family was rich - directors of the board, kind of rich. He had always known that he would be sent away to another country one day. Maybe that was why he doesn’t make a move on Kame. Maybe. Maybe it was because he was still doubtful about Kame’s feelings for him. Maybe.
Their relationships were full of maybes. And right then, as Jin waited in the airport, with a backpack slung on one shoulders, his eyes scanned the crowd because maybe, Kame would actually come. His mother looked at him, eyes sad. “I’m sorry,” she said.
Jin gave her a small smile. “Your father is hard headed,” Hyumin said. “It’s just five years. We’ll wait for you here.”
Jin wanted to cry when the announcement rang that he was to board the plane then. He really did. Kame, do I really not mean anything to you?
:::
“You came!” someone shouted.
Kame spun around, giving the man a smile. “Hello, Pi,” he greeted.
“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Yamapi said cheerfully, deciding to wave off how he failed to give Kame a hug as the male flinched away.
“Why wouldn’t I come?” Kame asked; the forced smile still on. If Yamapi had noticed his reddened eyes, he was smart then to not have said anything about it. Kame looked around the penthouse, pushing away his lonesome feeling at the absence of that one male.
Kame spared his watch one glance and sighed. It was 5.34 already -an hour and thirty-four minutes after his flight. “Come on,” Yamapi said, pulling on his arms and ignoring Kame’s obvious reluctance at being there. “Let’s get you a drink!”
Kame took the Breezer that was practically shoved right in his face and hesitated for a millisecond whether it was a good idea to drink alcohol before gulping down the whole bottle in a minute, watched on by the worried Yamapi. “So,” Yamapi said, trying hard to start a conversation. “Where are you planning to go on next?”
“I was planning to go on and take the arts in Sapphire’s,” Kame shrugged. “But I’m not that sure anymore -” since my muse is gone, he finished in his mind.
“Why not?” Yamapi prodded.
“Don’t feel like it anymore,” Kame lied as he shook his head. “But maybe I’ll still do it since I have no other options. I suck at sciences anyway.”
Yamapi smiled sympathetically. “Where are you going anyway?” Kame asked.
“Me?” Yamapi said. “I’m taking on law. That’s what my father wants anyway.”
Kame raised his eyebrows. “Oh,” he said, feeling a little touchy as the word father was brought up. Of course Yamapi noticed. The male was practically a Kame-observer.
“But I was thinking of taking on medicine though,” he tried changing the subject. “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor. You know…to cut people and all.”
Yamapi smiled when he managed to get a chuckle out of Kame. “What if you do badly and ended up being a nurse?” Kame joked.
“Funny,” Yamapi scoffed playfully.
“At least you’ll be ab-”
“Turn on the volume!” someone shouted, interrupting whatever Kame was about to say and both Yamapi and Kame turned their heads.
“What’s with the chaos?” Yamapi asked.
“They say Jin’s on TV. He made it on the breaking news,” a classmate of theirs said. “Something about an accident.”
Kame’s eyes widened. He didn’t even hear or feel as Yamapi tried to prevent him from pushing past the many people and shoving everyone out of the way to get to the television. “Shut up!” he bellowed and the entire penthouse silenced. He turned on the volume of the television, letting it echo throughout the entire room.
“-young boy was caught in the flames. A teenager aged 19 had rushed forward as the firemen ushered everyone out of the way. The young boy was saved, however, it was reported that the heroic teenager had died in the flames as the car exploded. His wa-”
Kame didn’t listen till the end. The photo shown on the wide-screen television was enough to get him bolting out of the house, not registering as at least ten voices called out for him. He took out his cell phone, tears running as he pressed Jin’s number again and again. “Out of service? You bloody fucker, you better be on the fucking plane and on the way to America!” Kame shouted, frustrated.
“Hello? Mom?!” he literally shouted as the call connected. He had called Jin’s mother out of desperation. “Mom? This is Kame. Jin’s on the plane right? He’s on the way to America, right?”
A loud sniff greeted his questions and he cried harder. “Please tell me he’s on his way to America,” Kame begged. “PLEASE!”
"K- Kame, we’re at the General Hospital. Please come quick,” was Hyumin’s answer.
Kame’s eyes widened and he, without asking for permission, climbed onto Yamapi's bike that was parked in his garage.
When he reached the hospital, it was only an hour later. He grumbled loudly as he saw reporters there. “There’s nothing interesting with someone dying!” Kame snapped at one petite reporter who was arguing with the nurse that was in charge there. “And if you don’t let me through, I’ll have you losing your job faster than you can say your own name!”
Jin’s body was burnt. Badly. They didn’t allow anyone to see it. But Kame was persistent -more so than Hyumin and Hyukgi themselves. When they brought him in, with a mask and a protective coat on, he dropped onto his knees as they revealed his body.
The last thing Kame did before he blacked out was raining torrents of abuse on the lifeless, burnt Jin, punctuating his sentences with profanities. “You promised to live a day longer. You promised, Jin…you fucking promised.”
:::
Jin stirred, feeling himself incoherent for a moment. “Where am I?” he asked.
“You’re in the questioning room,” a stern voice answered. Jin turned towards the voice. “Uhm…”he trailed off, not yet noticing the halo floating above the said male’s head. It took him an exact minute before he realized and when he did, he fell out of the bed.
"W-Who are you?!” he demanded.
“Why are they always like this…” the angel sighed to himself.
"W-What?” Jin cried.
“My name is Ueda Tatsuya, guardian 3217 of Heaven Adam and Eve sinners 19.7. Layer number 5, gate 43, cloud 1,” the male answered.
"W-What are you talking about?” Jin said. “Are you insane?”
Ueda sighed again. “Look around,” he said. “Tell me you look alive before calling me insane.”
Jin gulped, looking around his surrounding. It was a vast distance of white. Yet even from the floor (where he is still sprawled on), he can see the faint walls in the distant and a few windows up above. It was nothing like earth. Words could never explain the place he was in.
It was just…angelic. "W-Why am I here?” he finally asked.
“You’re dead,” Ueda shrugged.
“I-I’m what?” Jin shrieked. “YOU’RE INSANE.”
Ueda rolled his eyes. “No I am not,” Ueda said calmly. “You are dead. But you’re not supposed to be dead.”
Jin simply stared. “You died on January 26, 2012, 4.47.0689pm, in a flame explosion on Jungmohee Road,” Ueda stated.
Jin’s eyebrows crinkled, wincing as he remembered the event being said. "A-Am I in heaven?” he asked, almost slapping himself by the child-likeness of the question.
“You were rejected by the light. The gates won’t open,” Ueda said casually.
"W-What?” Jin said, almost crying in fear. "A-Am I going to hell?”
“No, you moron,” Ueda scolded.
“You’re an angel! You can’t curse!” Jin accused, his voice going a pitch higher
Ueda rolled his eyes again. “As I’ve said,” he continued. “You weren’t supposed to die. That was why you were rejected.”
"A-And? Am I going back to earth?” Jin asked timidly.
“Your body was burnt badly,” Ueda explained. “So that explains the problem we have now.”
Jin didn’t answer, obviously confused. “If your body was simply…how do I put it...injured,” Ueda said. “We can simply put you back in it. But since it is burnt, there are some problems.”
“Oh no…” Jin shook his head. “No…no…no… I need to see Kame… I can’t die. I-I can’t…”
Ueda huffed. “I suggest you put on some clothes first. We’re going to be waiting for a few more hours, I think.”
Jin squeaked as he realized that he was naked and quickly put on the clothes that appeared out of nowhere. He then sat at the edge of the bed while Ueda continued floating and playing in the air all by himself.
They waited about two hours (not that he really counted There’s no clock or whatsoever. It’s the heavens for goodness sake) before a loud bell rang. “Wait here,” Ueda ordered and Jin rolled his eyes, because well, he couldn’t possibly go anywhere.
Jin let out a squeak again when Ueda suddenly appeared infront of him again. “Maru has come up with a decision,” Ueda said.
“Who’s Maru?”
“That’s what we call him. His name is Nakamaru. He’s guardian 0001 of Heaven Adam and Eve forgivers number 1.0, Layer number 1, gate 1, cloud 1,” Ueda said. “Practically the head of us guardians.”
"O-Okay…”
“So,” Ueda started, staring at his clipboard that appeared so suddenly that it startled Jin. “It seems like leader is in a good mood.”
"W-Why?”
“He gave you two chances,” Ueda shrugged. “Most people get 0.5 chances.”
"W-What?”
“Nevermind,” Ueda shook his head. “Let’s go to the details and what you’re supposed to do.”
“Okay,” Jin answered again.
“You can choose,” Ueda said as he took out a long scroll and passed it over to Jin’s open hands.
“Well,” Ueda interrupted as he snatched back the scroll before Jin had finished reading.
“Let’s not read the rules first, shall we? We don’t want you to die in heaven too.”
"W-What?” Jin stammered; head incoherent as the information on the piece of long scroll registered in his mind. “Wait…K-Kame and I-I are soul mates?”
“Yea, well…” Ueda shrugged. “You can do your happy dance now.”
“A-Are we really going to die in 2058?” Jin asked again, ignoring Ueda’s joke.
“Yes,” Ueda answered bluntly.
“A-Am I supposed to find out about that? Shouldn’t that be a secret?” Jin said.
“As soon as you step out of this room, you’ll forget every bits of extra information you know,” Ueda explained. “So, it’s not that much of a deal. We need you to know everything…well almost everything, so you can make your decision.”
“O-Oh,” Jin nodded.
“You have five minutes to make them,” Ueda informed as another bell rang throughout the room.
“I’m going back to Earth,” Jin said immediately.
“Are you sure? You don’t want to think of it more?” Ueda questioned.
“If I were to stay here, I have to wait for Kame for another 46 years,” Jin shook his head. “I don’t want that. I want to go back. I want to set things right again.”
“Is that your final decision?” Ueda asked. “You won’t be able to change it once I ring the bell.”
Jin didn’t even hesitate as he nodded his head, face serious. Ueda gave him a soft smile before clapping his hands once. A small golden bell, with a red bowtie fell gently into his hands. “Going home!” Ueda shouted, ringing the bell loudly.
:::
“Okay, wake up, you pig,” Ueda growled as he kicked Jin’s legs.
Jin stirred eyes blurry as he forced them open. “W-Where am I?” he asked groggily.
“Earth,” Ueda answered simply. “That’s what you chose, no?”
“I-I’m back?!” Jin cried, almost in happiness.
“Yes, but take a look in the mirror,” Ueda said. He sighed when Jin simply looked confused and didn’t budge. He clicked his fingers and a small mirror appeared. He trusted them into Jin’s hands.
Jin screamed. “W-Who’s that?!”
“That’s you,” Ueda said.
“W-What? This isn’t my body!” Jin protested. “This isn’t m-”
“Koki Tanaka,” Ueda informed him. “You’re lending the body of Koki Tanaka.”
“I a-am w-”
“I told you before, your body was burnt in the flame explosion,” Ueda explained.
“A-And…?”
“And then comes the rules,” Ueda said.
“W-Why didn’t you tell me the rules before?” Jin questioned accusingly.
“Because you humans tend to change your minds after reading the rules,” Ueda said. “I don’t want you to be stopped just because of these rules set by that bloody fucker.”
Jin squeaked. “A-Are you cursing g-god?!” he exclaimed.
“I’m cursing Maru, you moron,” Ueda said. “Now, let me explain the rules. Sit up.”
Jin gulped, trying his best to sit up as Ueda’s eyes pierced his soul. “O-Okay,” he stammered.
Ueda nodded and started softly. “You are lending the body of Koki Tanaka, born on November 5, 1993. Koki died from brain tumour. He is an orphan and had always lived alone all his live. Since your body is burnt, you are given this body instead,” he said. “Koki had already given his permission. So don’t you worry about anything of that sort. Now, here comes the complicated bit.”
“For your soul to be revived again, you are to convince at least one human that you’re you,” Ueda said, pausing to make sure that Jin understood. When Jin nodded, he smiled sympathetically. “That human cannot be related to you by blood. And Maru had already given you the best candidate to persuade. And that, yes, is Kamenashi, your bestfriend.”
Jin scoffed at that last word, ignoring how his heart clenched. He had, of course forgotten whatever information that he knew before about them being soul mates. “That’s not all,” Ueda said. “Once you choose your target, you cannot change the person. You are given 3 days to do this and yes, you’re allowed to tell Kame about everything that you have seen or been through to convince him.”
“Why?” Ueda said, knowing the confusion in Jin’s eyes. “Because once Kame accepts that you’re really Akanishi Jin, your body will be returned and that accident that had happened will be erased. You won’t remember that this had ever happen nor would Kame or anyone else in fact. You’ll be sent back to the airport where you were before, and your life will be restored. You can continue on normally…as if I never made a mistake.”
“H-Huh?”
“I made a mistake. That’s why you’re dead,” Ueda said. “Guardians are supposed to be by their own human every single second to make sure that they live exactly as how it has been written. But I took a minute off and well…you died.”
“W-Why can’t they just u-undo it?” Jin asked.
“Nothing is as simple as that,” Ueda scoffed. “We have to see whether you’re worth going through the trouble for. And that your life won’t be a nuisance to anybody’s once you come back.”
Jin nodded, understanding Ueda’s words with much difficulty. “S-So, what now?” he muttered.
“I’ll release you from this vortex and you’ll be human again…only in a different body,” Ueda answered and only then did Jin realize that he was in a big white shield along with Ueda. There were nurses around them but they couldn’t see them. “And when I do release you, you have exactly 3 days to convince Kame. After the 3 days are up, at 12 noon sharp, you are to bring Kame or if you fail to convince him, you are to come by yourself and wait by the place you were supposed to die before. Nakamaru will make the decision then.”
"T-three days only?” Jin choked. "T-That’s too short!”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about it,” Ueda shrugged. Jin sighed, huffing out in annoyance.
“Is that all?” Jin finally asked, feeling lightheaded suddenly.
“No,” Ueda shook his head. “You cannot tell anyone else that is not of your blood relation about this. Only Kame. Everyone else will know you as Koki Tanaka.”
“What if I run into people who know Koki?” Jin asked.
“No, you won’t,” Ueda shook his head. When Jin wanted to protest again, Ueda growled. “Trust me, you won’t.”
Jin gulped. “F-Fine.”
“There’s three dots on your palm,” Ueda informed and true to his words, Jin saw exactly three black dots on his palms. “Each dot will disappear as each day past.”
Jin gulped. He nodded because he couldn’t possibly trust his voice then.
“I’ll release you once it’s twelve noon sharp,” Ueda said, nodding towards the digital clock on the wall behind them. “In 3…2…1…Good luck!”
:::
Jin walked down the streets, pulling on his clothes uncomfortably. Ueda had dressed him in a pair of tight black jeans and a white loose V-neck. The body he was using then was smaller than his and somehow he felt a little suffocated using it.
Because it was Ueda’s fault that he had died, Ueda had promised to dress and feed him while he was on earth for his mission. Jin stared as he reached his destination. It was Kame’s work place.
Kame works in a small book store a little further up the central district of Seoul. As Jin entered the store, the bell chimes by the door rang loudly. “Good afternoon,” a weak voice welcomed him. Jin froze as he met Kame’s eyes. He had lost weight rapidly, his cheekbones showing unhealthily. His hair was greasy and matted along the sides of his oily face.
Despite all of that, Jin’s breath hitched with the amount of love he felt for the male. “I’m gone for barely a day and you’re a mess,” Jin said. Kame’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“I’m sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?” Kame asked bluntly.
“Jin,” Jin corrected and saw Kame flinched visibly. “He’s gone for barely a day and you’re a mess.”
“I don’t know who you are, but you better stop,” Kame warned. “And he’s been gone for four months!”
Jin froze. “F-Four months?” he repeated.
“Yes, four months! Are you deaf?” Kame spat. “And who the hell are you?”
Jin stared. “I’ll come back again,” he said. “And my name is Koki Tanaka!” he shouted over his shoulders, shaking his head as he bolted out of the door.
“Ueda!” Jin shouted, voice piercing the air. He ignored the stares he received. What? Ueda replied.
“How the hell did it become four months?!” Jin demanded. “It was barely a day since I died!”
Do you think heaven’s time and your time are the same?
“You didn’t warn me though!” Jin hissed accusingly.
You didn’t ask.
“God, I feel like killing you,” Jin cursed. “And this is your entire fault that I have to go through this!”
I’m sorry.
Jin sighed. “Fine, but just…warn me next time. I don’t know what to expect anymore,” he said.
:::
“Kame, do you want a soda?” Yamapi asked.
“What?” Kame answered, sounding very much distracted. He kept thinking about the male he had met yesterday. Somehow the male felt familiar -too familiar. There was the warmth that followed him as soon as he entered the store and Kame had felt it -the ever so familiar warmth that used to belong only to him.
“A soda,” Yamapi said. “Do you want one?”
“Yes, you’re right,” Kame answered without listening to the question.
“Are you alright, Kame?” Yamapi asked; voice laced with worry.
“I’m fine,” Kame shook his head. “It’s just that…”
“Just that…?”
“There’s this man who came into the store yesterday,” Kame said. “He thou- nevermind.”
Yamapi raised his eyebrows. “What is it?” he prodded. “You can tell me, you know.”
“I know,” Kame sighed. “But I just don’t know how to put it in words.”
“Try?”
“I felt Jin’s presence when he was around,” Kame admitted, lifting his face up to meet Yamapi’s shocked eyes.
“I thought we talk about this already, Kame,” Yamapi muttered. “He won’t come back. Y-”
“I know,” Kame interrupted sharply. “That was why I didn’t want to tell you. You just won’t understand.”
“What am I supposed to understand, Kame?” Yamapi questioned. “That you think he’s going to come back? You were the one who saw his body, Kame. No one else did. You know he’s never coming back.”
“But these dreams are so vivid, Yamapi!” Kame cried out in exasperation. “I can feel him. Sometimes I can just feel him. And that man yesterday… it was as if Jin was there with me.”
“Kame, look at yourself,” Yamapi sighed. “All I can see is bones. Your cheeks are sucked in. I can break your hands in two easily. Your eye-bags are getting worse. You’ve got to stop this, Kame. You’re getting sick.”
“You don’t understand,” Kame repeated. “You just don’t.”
Yamapi shook his head, defeated. “I’ll fix us some food, okay?” he finally said.
“No, I have to go,” Kame said. He stood up, sighing for the umpteenth time before letting himself out of Yamapi’s penthouse.
Kame walked back to his store, his mind blank and swept out of all memories. “Kame!” a voice shouted and he looked up, feeling his heart skipped a beat as he saw the male that he had met yesterday.
Kame cocked his eyebrows. “How do you know my name?” he asked.
The male smiled. “Can we talk?” he asked. “Please?” he added when Kame looked reluctant.
“In the park,” Kame finally said, turning around on his heels again and leading the way. He sat down on a bench, eyes boring into the other male, waiting for him to start talking.
The male gave him a knowing look as though he was used to Kame’s behavior before settling down beside Kame.
“Kame,” the male started.
Kame flinched back. “Don’t touch me,” he warned. “I don’t know you.”
“Do you believe in miracles?” the male asked.
“What?” Kame said incredulously.
“Miracles, you said you believe in them before,” the male said.
Kame stood up. “You’re freaking me out,” he said. “I’m going.”
“Jin once told you that you’re the missing puzzle that god had wanted him to find,” the male called out towards Kame.
Kame’s eyes widened as he spun around. “Who told you that?”
“He said that if one day god wants grant him one wish, it’ll be to make you the happiest person on earth,” the male continued, revealing more and more of Kame’s and Jin’s secret to each other.
“He told you that you’re like a piece of hay in a sack of glass shreds - so painful to reach out for yet so precious and delicate. When you told him that you were lucky to have him, he told you that he was lucky to have you too, because you made the lifeless him, lively,” the male muttered; eyes hard as it stayed on Kame’s. “To him that was caged by layers and layers of steel expectations, you made him feel as though he was worth it and as though he has a reason to live. And that reason was you.”
“Shut up,” Kame hissed. “Shut up! STOP!”
“He loved you,” the male ended.
“Who are you?!” Kame demanded, stomping up to the male and glaring down at the seating him.
“Jin,” the male said softly.
“Are you insane?!” Kame shrieked.
“You said nothing is impossible, Kame,” the male said. “You told me that every time I wanted to give up. I died a day ago and I was given the chance to live again because it wasn’t my time yet.”
Kame stared. The male was insane -fucking insane. “A few hours up there are equivalent to a few months down here,” the male explained. “I didn’t know t-”
Kame stopped the male with a punch in the face.
“I promised to die one day after you!” the male shouted as Kame walked away. It stopped Kame in his tracks again. “You’re too precious for me. I don’t want you to live alone. I promised to die a day after you. Wasn’t that what I said? I’m sorry I didn’t keep it.”
Kame walked away.
:::
“Stop!” Hyumin cried as Hyukgi brought down the bat down onto Jin’s fragile body. “Stop hurting the boy!”
Hyukgi’s breath was ragged. “He’s trying to steal Jin’s belongings!” he shouted.
“I’m Jin!” Jin screamed for the umpteenth time that day. He had come down to his house the day after. He forced his way in when like Kame, neither of his parents believed him.
“You are bloody insane!” Hyukgi retorted. “How dare you-”
“Where’s my box?!” Jin shouted, cutting across Hyukgi’s words and Hyukgi raised the bat again to beat him.
“No, wait!” Hyumin said. “W-What box?”
“You can’t possibly-”
“The box I kept all my memories in!” Jin answered, again interrupting Hyukgi. “The one that held all my photos with Kame! The toys, keychains and presents Kame gave me! Where is it? It’s always at the bottom of the drawers…”
Hyumin gasped. Nobody knew the box existed except for Jin himself. She only found out about it after his death. “Did you throw it away?” Jin demanded. “Did you?!”
Hyukgi brought down the bat onto his shoulders again and he howled in pain. “W-Wait!” Jin cried. He ran out into the living room again. Hyukgi ran out after him, hands raised. Jin dodged as he bended down and opened a drawer. He took out a small box and jumped a step back as Hyukgi tried to hit him again.
“W-Wait,” he repeated as he struggled to open up the box that neither parents had seen before. He took out a cloth from it.
Inside the cloth was pieces of broken baseball bat, just like the one Hyukgi was holding. He held it up and successfully froze both his parents. “You beat me with this when I was ten,” Jin said in between harsh pants. “When I was third in class, you were so mad that you beat me up. You told me that I was a shame to the family and that I had no rights to be your son. I cried so hard. I begged you to stop but you didn’t,” he continued, tears welling up at the memory. “Mom tried stopping you but you pushed her aside. She got a bruise to her forehead and you didn’t bother apologizing. You beat me up till I bled. My left shoulder cracked and that was when you stopped. I kept this… I kept the bat that you used. I kept this to scare myself to always be the best. I kept this so that I won’t fail. When I was lazy or tired, I take this out. The memory of it scared me so much that my eyes can’t sleep and I’ll study through the night. You wanted a perfect son…this was how you got one. It hurts when you used it on me. Even now, it hurts…”
Hyukgi’s breath caught in his throat. “And mom,” Jin called out, eyes tearing as he stared at his mother. “Remember the diary you asked me to throw away?”
Hyumin nodded her head vigorously as Hyukgi stared at them both. “Because you were being so overly jealous that her old diary had pictures of her friends in it…the diary she kept since she was a teenager, you wanted to burn it,” Jin said as he watched Hyukgi with sharp eyes. “She cried to me and asked me to throw it away because she couldn’t bear to do it herself. It held all of her precious memories in it…”
Jin shook his head as he ran into the kitchen to take a chair. He brought it out towards the living room and placed it in the corner of the room. He stared at his parents as he climbed up. “I didn’t throw it away,” he said. Hyumi gasped as he reached out and opened a secret door on the small of the top wall right in the corner of the room. The diary fell down with a soft plop.
Hyukgi cried as he hugged Jin.
:::
Kame turned as the bell chimes of the door rang. “Good morn-” Kame froze. “What do you want?” he spat, a complete opposite to his initial greeting.
“It’s my last day today,” Jin answered, hands held out, showing the last sole black dot on his palm.
Kame stared. “Don’t give me that shit again,” he said.
“It’s my last day, Kame,” Jin begged, eyes watering. “I need to go at noon today. That’s four more hours. Please.”
“What do you want me to do?” Kame snapped suddenly, turning his chair around so fast that the whiplash made him wince a little. “Oh hey, I died in a flame. But now I got transferred into another body to tell you I love you.”
Jin whimpered softly as Kame mocked him. “If someone comes to you saying that, what will you do? Believe them?” Kame demanded. “If you do, you’re bloody stupid.”
“I didn’t put it that way,” Jin defended. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s all the same, Tanaka!” Kame shouted.
“I am not Koki!” Jin retorted, just as angrily. He stomped his feet and the next moment, Kame gasped as Jin stood tall in between his legs, hands holding his chins hard. Jin forced Kame to meet his eyes.
“Look at me. Do I look like I’m lying?” Jin demanded. “Look in my eyes, Kamenashi!”
“Don-”
“I don’t get anything out of it if I lie,” Jin cried. “Even if I am really Koki Tanaka, why, Kame, bloody why tell me, would I lie to tell you that I love you and disappear after today? I get nothing out of lying.”
"H-How do I know you’ll disappear after this?” Kame crocked, feeling the pain of Jin’s grip crept into his every vein.
Jin’s face contorted in anger. “I give up!” he screamed and released Kame’s chin angrily. He walked towards the door, stopping just as he reached the knob. He turned around.
“This was why I died!” he lashed out harshly, pointing to Kame accusingly. “If you allowed me to tell you that I love you -if only you told me you loved me before I left, I would have stayed, Kame. I was waiting for you to fight for me. But no, Yamapi’s more important, right?”
Kame flinched, the realization that the male knew a little too much about him enveloped his mind tightly. Yet, he still refused to believe that the male was Jin. Jin was dead. Kame saw the body.
“You never want to listen!” Jin shouted, voice charged with heavy exasperation. “This was why I had to made my own decision and run of out of the airport to be killed. This was bloody why you were bullied in third grade! This was why your father fucking died too!”
“I helped you when you fell down the stairs back in ninth grade. I fed you, I became your legs. I helped you when your mother abandoned you. You were so fallen and crushed. I was the only one there. When your father died, I told you it wasn’t your fault. I told you that it wasn’t your fault that he wanted to save you; that he chose to be the one hit by the lorry. But it was your fault!” Jin cried. “If you had listened to him and waited for him till he got out of the washroom instead of being a fucking baby, he’ll be alive, Kame! It was you who caused all of these! I hate you. I hate that I love you. I hate that everyone have to make the decisions for you.”
Kame’s heart skipped a beat. His tears fell as Jin refused to take back his word. “I’m going. You’re suspicious that I won’t disappear? Well, let’s see,” Jin continued mercilessly. “By noon today, I’ll no longer be here. Don’t cry yourself to sleep when you realize I’m not lying. You’re not worth my tears anymore, Kame. I fight and I fight for you, but you never see it. I’ll be gone. At noon sharp, they’ll take my soul away. At the place I was supposed to die…they’ll take it away. This time Kame, nobody can make the decision for you.”
Kame couldn’t do or say anything as Jin stared at him, giving him one last chance to fight for the male. But like always, Kame simply watched as Jin left the shop, tears still running at the mercilessness of Jin’s words.
:::
“Pi, I need you to check something for me,” Kame said urgently as he burst into Yamapi’s penthouse.
“Oh hello, Kame,” Yamapi greeted as though it was perfectly normal for Kame to barge into his house unnoticed.
“I need you to check for me something,” Kame repeated. “It’s really urgent.”
Yamapi spun around in his spinning chair and gave Kame a long look. Kame was looking at his watch. It was 9:39am and if that person was really Jin, Kame couldn’t afford to lose him for the umpteenth time. But Kame doesn’t want to be fooled. He needs evidences.
“You can check on someone’s background, no?” Kame asked. “Like how you checked on Yuki’s boyfriend.”
“Shhh! She’s inside! Do you want my sister to kill me?” Yamapi said; eyes wide as he pointed to the room on the left.
“Whatever, I need you to check on someone for me,” Kame said. “Please.”
“Alright, alright, come here,” Yamapi said, as he pulled on Kame’s arms into his room. “Do you mind telling me what this hastiness is about?”
“No time,” Kame shook his head.
Yamapi sighed. “Okay,” he said as he sat down and turned on his computer devices. “I need his name -full name if possible.”
“Koki Tanaka,” Kame said immediately.
Yamapi nodded, typing the name in. A thousand of links popped up. “Shit,” Kame cursed. “How do I find him now?”
“What do you want to know so badly anyway?” Yamapi asked.
“I want to know whether he’s dead or not,” Kame said, ignoring the widening of Yamapi’s eyes. “Please.”
“Okay, come here and sit down,” Yamapi beckoned, pulling a chair out from under the desk.
“They have pictures and biographies stored,” Yamapi explained and Kame didn’t even bother to ask how Yamapi have excess to it all.
An hour past and Kame grew impatient. “Shit, can’t you filter through them or something?” Despair was creeping into his voice as his face loses all of its colour.
“You have no information on him! How do I even filter through them?” Yamapi defended mildly.
“I’m sorry…” Kame sighed; face falling as he saw the time. “I just need the information by noon…”
“Why noon?” Yamapi asked. “Did something happen, Kame? Are you alright?”
Kame kept quiet. His face contorted and he furrowed his eyebrows as he racked his brain for a solution. After what seemed like an eternity, Kame jumped up from his statue-like position. “I know!” he shouted. “Jin died in the General Hospital!”
"K-Kame?” Yamapi called out, suddenly worried.
“If Koki’s really Jin, that body must have also died in the General Hospital,” Kame said aloud, thinking to himself while Yamapi looked scandalized.
“W-What are you talking about, Kame?” Yamapi asked.
“Thanks, Yamapi! And keep searching! If you find him, call me!” Kame exclaimed as he bolted out of the door, leaving behind a confused Yamapi.
Like the last time, Kame stole Yamapi’s motorcycle again and sped off to the General Hospital, only this time, with the mindset to save Jin. He pushed past all the unnecessary people and stood panting by the information counter.
“I need to find someone,” Kame panted hard. He spared the clock a glance and gulped when he saw that it was twenty six minutes to noon. “My brother,” he lied. “Koki Tanaka. Please look for him.”
If Koki’s record wasn’t in, Kame was left with no other choice. There was no way he’ll make it to Yamapi’s house again and back to the accident place.
“Koki Tanaka?” the nurse repeated and Kame nodded vigorously.
“I’m sorry, we’re no-” the nurse’s words were suddenly cut off as a loud magical cling was heard. “I mean, I’ll be glad to search him up for you,” she said.
Kame furrowed his eyebrows again. He was confused. Of course he didn’t realize that it was Ueda’s doing. He had changed the nurse’s mind with a wave of his hand. There was no way Ueda would let his human fail his mission. He must clear his name once again.
“I’m sorry,” the nurse said. “Tanaka-san has died of Brain tumor ten days ago.”
:::
“Jin!” Kame shouted. “No! I’m here! Jin! I’m here. Don’t go!”
Jin turned around, eyes wide as he saw Kame running towards him, stumbling a step away from him as usual. He caught Kame by the arm, eyes hard as he stared. “I’m here. You can’t go,” Kame begged. “Tell whoever’s in charge, you can’t go. I’m here, please.”
Jin doesn’t say a word because he was struck speechless. He could see the light already. It was a minute to noon. Kame staggered back a step when Jin’s eyes shone bright white. “N-No,” he begged.
Jin gasped softly when Kame fell onto his knees. “Please, I’m sorry that I was such a baby before,” Kame begged desperately. “I’m sorry that I didn’t send you to the airport. I’m sorry that I made you feed me before. I’m sorry that I made you walk with me. I’m sorry that I killed my father. I’m sorry that I never listened to you,” he continued. “But please don’t be sorry that you love me -because I love you too, Jin. I love you more than I could ever put it in words. I didn’t want to say it because I’m afraid that when I do, you’ll disappear just like how all of those people I love do. I didn’t want to tell you because you were always too good to be true.”
“I love it when you knocked my head and tell me that I’m a dork. I love it when you shove food down my throat when I’m sulking. I love that you never got tired of me no matter how much of a jerk I was,” Kame muttered. “Because I was too afraid, I pushed you away. But I love you. I really, really love you that I can die without you by my side. When you died, it was as if my heart died along with you. I was afraid. I was a coward. I didn’t want to believe you because it was impossible. You coming back for me seemed impossible…”
“I love you,” Jin whispered. “I live for you. I breathe for you. You never saw it.”
“I’m sorry,” Kame begged, still on his knees. “I’m really sorry.”
Pull him up. Jin looked around, a little startled as Ueda's voice rang loudly around him. It was then that he realized that time was frozen. The cars around them weren’t moving. The birds in the air were still.
Jin kneeled down and tilted Kame’s chin up. Well, that will do too. Jin ignored Ueda’s sarcastic voice. “H-Jin,” Kame whimpered; eyes wide. “Y-You’re Jin!”
Jin tilted his head, only then realizing that he was in his body again. “They returned it to me,” Jin muttered. His eyes glistened. Kame jumped onto him, pulling him in an impossibly tight embrace.
“I love you,” Kame whispered, lips moving against his bare neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Jin cried. He cradled Kame as though he was the most precious living thing on earth, because to Jin, he really was. He pulled back, gazing deeply into Kame’s eyes. “I’m sorry I said all those things to you,” he murmured. “I was wrong. Forgive me?”
Kame managed to smile between his tears. “What you said was true,” he whispered. “There’s nothing to be forgiven.”
Jin sighed, contented as he kissed Kame’s temple tenderly. He pulled Kame back into his arms as he looked up.
“Ueda?” he called out.
“I’m here,” Ueda said, appearing beside Jin, starling Kame who buried himself deeper into Jin’s chest immediately.
“What’s going to happen now?” Jin asked.
“You’re going back,” Ueda said, smiling softly at the duo.
“Back to four months ago?”
“Yes,” Ueda nodded.
“A-Are you going to l-live now?” Kame muttered.
Jin nodded. “I’m going back,” he repeated. “They’re sending me back. They’re sending me back to you.”
Pairing/Group: Jin/Kame [KAT-TUN]
Rating/Warnings: PG15
Summary: Jin and Kame are bestfriends. When Jin died in a car accident, he was given one chance to rejuvenate. Lending Koki Tanaka's body, Jin must be able to convince Kame in three days, that he is infact alive to be able to revive.
Note: Ideas came from Indonesian Drama, Love is Cinta.
When the school bell rang, echoing through the still-silent hallway, there were loud shouts and screams greeting it as if it was god. The sun wasn’t shining. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, looming ahead like a heavy curtain as rain pelted hard against the window panes. Nothing though dampened the mood enveloping the graduated third years that were crowding the fourth floor of the school building.
Jin stood alone, eyes crinkling as the rest of his classmates popped open a bottle of wine and set it spraying all over their heads. Jin looked sick - as if forlorn and dispirited. His hair was disarray and his skin, pale. His eyes searched the crowds, heart swelling as he saw the male he was looking for. The said male had his mouth open, in glorious laughter, lips stretched out into a beautiful smile. The wine he was playing with gave his cheeks a rosy glow; his soft, wet hair covering his eyes as he ran in circles in glee.
Jin’s eyes glistened as he saw the scene. “Kamenashi!” he called out, voice heavy and strained. “Kame!”
Kame turned around at the sound of his name. He peeked through his wet bangs, eyes meeting Jin’s. He tilted his head for a fraction of a second before a wide smile, which was only meant for Jin split across his flawless features. His eyes twinkled as he ran, pushing past the bustling students towards Jin.
Jin allowed a chuckle to escape his lips as he caught Kame when he slipped. “Sorry!” Kame exclaimed; voice sounding soft compared to the loud screams surrounding them. Jin shook his head as a reply, an amused smile adorning his plump lips. “Do you want to go out?” Kame asked, pointing down the stairs.
When Jin didn’t manage to catch what he was saying, he laughed, tugging on the 19 year old’s hand and leading him down the stairs. They were past by a group of giggling girls that tried to touch Jin for some unknown reason (probably a dare) and it wasn’t Kame’s fault that he set her off howling in pain as she grabbed her abused toe.
“Kame…” Jin said in a disapproving tone as Kame continued dragging him down the stairs as if nothing had happened.
Kame brought him down to the sheltered garden, shooing off the first years with a glare. Jin didn’t bother scolding him then. As soon as Kame let his hand go, Jin stared at his fingers for a while, hating the fact that it was cold then. “Are you okay?” a soft voice interrupted him. He looked up. Kame's eyes were wide and concern and he smiled softly.
“Come here,” Kame said, patting the empty space beside him. “Why are you standing?”
Jin hesitated. “Kame,” he repeated for the umpteenth time. Kame stood up, hands itching to touch Jin for some unknown reason.
“You- I…” Jin stammered.
“Spit it out, Jin,” Kame prodded. “I hate being curious.”
“Kame, I’m…”
“You’re…?”
“I’m moving,” Jin whispered. Kame tilted his head out of habit. Jin sighed because he knew Kame doesn’t understand. He just wished that he doesn’t have to explain it. “To America. I told you before, Kame. I’m studying there for five years.”
Kame’s eyes widened impossibly wider. He took a step back as if afraid of Jin. “When?” he murmured, almost inaudibly.
“It’ll only be for f-five years a-and-” Jin tried.
“When?” Kame repeated, more firmly than before.
“I’m moving tomorrow,” Jin finally answered, a little timidly. “Tomorrow is when.”
Kame’s eyes searched the taller male’s, as if waiting for him to tell him that it was a lie. Jin stepped forward, hands stretched, wanting to hold the petite male. “You’re...leaving tomorrow?” Kame choked a little on the last word. “To America?”
“Ye-”
“Great!” Kame shouted with forced happiness, interrupting Jin. “That’s good, no?”
“Kame,” Jin begged, eyes watering. “Don’t be like this.”
“You’re going to study in America!” Kame laughed bitterly. “You can’t forget me okay? When you become big and successful, you have to come back and remember that you had a friend called Kamenashi Kazuya!”
Jin sighed, face falling and stared at his shoe. Kame can be very hard sometimes. “We’ll be seeing less of each other,” he said softly. “Less…”
He heard Kame choked a little for the second time and he looked up. Kame had never been good with good byes and Jin doesn’t understand why he was acting that way. “You’ll miss me, won’t you?” he asked.
Kame stared. But he doesn’t falter. “There’ll be so much things happening. I’ll be going to the university too here. I’ll be too busy to miss you,” Kame said hastily, sounding as if he was convincing himself more rather than Jin himself. “Five years is nothing, right? Plus we can call each other. O-Or there’s webcamming. W-We can do that too.”
Jin nodded. He was at lost for words. With Kame acting as if he going wasn’t a big deal, all those overnight words he practiced to tell the male was stuck at the back of his throat. Jin doesn’t say a word as he stared at Kame, eyes sharp as if trying to etch the image of the flawless male into his mind more. He nodded his head once before turning around and leaving Kame there, speechless as he watched Jin’s back leaving him.
“I won’t be able to make it tomorrow!” he shouted.
Jin spun around. “What?” he asked.
“Tomorrow,” Kame repeated. “I won’t be able to make it to the airport to send you.”
If Jin had tried to be strong before, his already tired face fell at those words; that Kame almost wavered again. “It’s Yamapi’s birthday,” Kame reasoned. “I promised him I’ll be there.”
“You can’t come after you send me?” Jin tried desperately.
“I-no,” Kame resolved. “I can’t. It’ll be too much of a hassle to send you and then drive back to Pi’s house.”
“H-Hassle?” Jin repeated, voice cracking. This time, Kame did falter. But it was too late as Jin nodded his head again and ran off into the rain. Kame was sure he heard a small sniff and a roll of the tears before Jin left and he slapped himself across the face.
That night when Kame went to bed, he cried.
:::
The first day Jin met Kame was 10 years ago. Kame was a new transfer student from Osaka. He was the laughing stock of the school. Even at nine years old, Kame was a cry baby. Jin knocked his head over with a small notebook before he sat down beside Kame who was sulking in the gym hall.
Kame cried harder and Jin laughed. “Stop crying, you dork,” Jin smiled; all gums and teeth. Kame whined as he wrapped an arm around his waist and hauled Kame into his chest. Jin rolled his eyes as Kame grabbed his shirt and cried louder.
But Jin’s steady heartbeat and firm hands around him made Kame stopped. He looked up and sat up straight, not even bothered to apologize that he had left his snot and tears all over Jin. “Who are you?” he had asked.
Jin laughed again because he found Kame utterly adorable. “Jin,” he answered. And when Jin smiled again, Kame knew and Jin himself knew that they would be friends for a very long time.
Neither of them came out of the closet even as years past. However honestly, none of them felt gay. The thought of being with another male, sent shivers down their spines. It was just the thought of being with each other -together forever, in Kame’s dictionary- was perfect.
Most of their friends have asked when they would ever get together -right in their faces. They didn’t even blush. They looked at each other and shrugged. Honestly, they don’t even know the answer.
It was a silent understanding that Jin was the more dominant one despite Kame making most of their decisions -food, movies, etc. Jin was wiser, even from the start. He cared for Kame like no friend ever did. He loved Kame, more than Kame could ever imagine and he doesn’t rush their relationship. Because Kame, who was the more vocal one about his feelings didn’t say a word about it, he too kept his feelings quiet.
Jin’s family was rich - directors of the board, kind of rich. He had always known that he would be sent away to another country one day. Maybe that was why he doesn’t make a move on Kame. Maybe. Maybe it was because he was still doubtful about Kame’s feelings for him. Maybe.
Their relationships were full of maybes. And right then, as Jin waited in the airport, with a backpack slung on one shoulders, his eyes scanned the crowd because maybe, Kame would actually come. His mother looked at him, eyes sad. “I’m sorry,” she said.
Jin gave her a small smile. “Your father is hard headed,” Hyumin said. “It’s just five years. We’ll wait for you here.”
Jin wanted to cry when the announcement rang that he was to board the plane then. He really did. Kame, do I really not mean anything to you?
:::
“You came!” someone shouted.
Kame spun around, giving the man a smile. “Hello, Pi,” he greeted.
“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Yamapi said cheerfully, deciding to wave off how he failed to give Kame a hug as the male flinched away.
“Why wouldn’t I come?” Kame asked; the forced smile still on. If Yamapi had noticed his reddened eyes, he was smart then to not have said anything about it. Kame looked around the penthouse, pushing away his lonesome feeling at the absence of that one male.
Kame spared his watch one glance and sighed. It was 5.34 already -an hour and thirty-four minutes after his flight. “Come on,” Yamapi said, pulling on his arms and ignoring Kame’s obvious reluctance at being there. “Let’s get you a drink!”
Kame took the Breezer that was practically shoved right in his face and hesitated for a millisecond whether it was a good idea to drink alcohol before gulping down the whole bottle in a minute, watched on by the worried Yamapi. “So,” Yamapi said, trying hard to start a conversation. “Where are you planning to go on next?”
“I was planning to go on and take the arts in Sapphire’s,” Kame shrugged. “But I’m not that sure anymore -” since my muse is gone, he finished in his mind.
“Why not?” Yamapi prodded.
“Don’t feel like it anymore,” Kame lied as he shook his head. “But maybe I’ll still do it since I have no other options. I suck at sciences anyway.”
Yamapi smiled sympathetically. “Where are you going anyway?” Kame asked.
“Me?” Yamapi said. “I’m taking on law. That’s what my father wants anyway.”
Kame raised his eyebrows. “Oh,” he said, feeling a little touchy as the word father was brought up. Of course Yamapi noticed. The male was practically a Kame-observer.
“But I was thinking of taking on medicine though,” he tried changing the subject. “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor. You know…to cut people and all.”
Yamapi smiled when he managed to get a chuckle out of Kame. “What if you do badly and ended up being a nurse?” Kame joked.
“Funny,” Yamapi scoffed playfully.
“At least you’ll be ab-”
“Turn on the volume!” someone shouted, interrupting whatever Kame was about to say and both Yamapi and Kame turned their heads.
“What’s with the chaos?” Yamapi asked.
“They say Jin’s on TV. He made it on the breaking news,” a classmate of theirs said. “Something about an accident.”
Kame’s eyes widened. He didn’t even hear or feel as Yamapi tried to prevent him from pushing past the many people and shoving everyone out of the way to get to the television. “Shut up!” he bellowed and the entire penthouse silenced. He turned on the volume of the television, letting it echo throughout the entire room.
“-young boy was caught in the flames. A teenager aged 19 had rushed forward as the firemen ushered everyone out of the way. The young boy was saved, however, it was reported that the heroic teenager had died in the flames as the car exploded. His wa-”
Kame didn’t listen till the end. The photo shown on the wide-screen television was enough to get him bolting out of the house, not registering as at least ten voices called out for him. He took out his cell phone, tears running as he pressed Jin’s number again and again. “Out of service? You bloody fucker, you better be on the fucking plane and on the way to America!” Kame shouted, frustrated.
“Hello? Mom?!” he literally shouted as the call connected. He had called Jin’s mother out of desperation. “Mom? This is Kame. Jin’s on the plane right? He’s on the way to America, right?”
A loud sniff greeted his questions and he cried harder. “Please tell me he’s on his way to America,” Kame begged. “PLEASE!”
"K- Kame, we’re at the General Hospital. Please come quick,” was Hyumin’s answer.
Kame’s eyes widened and he, without asking for permission, climbed onto Yamapi's bike that was parked in his garage.
When he reached the hospital, it was only an hour later. He grumbled loudly as he saw reporters there. “There’s nothing interesting with someone dying!” Kame snapped at one petite reporter who was arguing with the nurse that was in charge there. “And if you don’t let me through, I’ll have you losing your job faster than you can say your own name!”
Jin’s body was burnt. Badly. They didn’t allow anyone to see it. But Kame was persistent -more so than Hyumin and Hyukgi themselves. When they brought him in, with a mask and a protective coat on, he dropped onto his knees as they revealed his body.
The last thing Kame did before he blacked out was raining torrents of abuse on the lifeless, burnt Jin, punctuating his sentences with profanities. “You promised to live a day longer. You promised, Jin…you fucking promised.”
:::
Jin stirred, feeling himself incoherent for a moment. “Where am I?” he asked.
“You’re in the questioning room,” a stern voice answered. Jin turned towards the voice. “Uhm…”he trailed off, not yet noticing the halo floating above the said male’s head. It took him an exact minute before he realized and when he did, he fell out of the bed.
"W-Who are you?!” he demanded.
“Why are they always like this…” the angel sighed to himself.
"W-What?” Jin cried.
“My name is Ueda Tatsuya, guardian 3217 of Heaven Adam and Eve sinners 19.7. Layer number 5, gate 43, cloud 1,” the male answered.
"W-What are you talking about?” Jin said. “Are you insane?”
Ueda sighed again. “Look around,” he said. “Tell me you look alive before calling me insane.”
Jin gulped, looking around his surrounding. It was a vast distance of white. Yet even from the floor (where he is still sprawled on), he can see the faint walls in the distant and a few windows up above. It was nothing like earth. Words could never explain the place he was in.
It was just…angelic. "W-Why am I here?” he finally asked.
“You’re dead,” Ueda shrugged.
“I-I’m what?” Jin shrieked. “YOU’RE INSANE.”
Ueda rolled his eyes. “No I am not,” Ueda said calmly. “You are dead. But you’re not supposed to be dead.”
Jin simply stared. “You died on January 26, 2012, 4.47.0689pm, in a flame explosion on Jungmohee Road,” Ueda stated.
Jin’s eyebrows crinkled, wincing as he remembered the event being said. "A-Am I in heaven?” he asked, almost slapping himself by the child-likeness of the question.
“You were rejected by the light. The gates won’t open,” Ueda said casually.
"W-What?” Jin said, almost crying in fear. "A-Am I going to hell?”
“No, you moron,” Ueda scolded.
“You’re an angel! You can’t curse!” Jin accused, his voice going a pitch higher
Ueda rolled his eyes again. “As I’ve said,” he continued. “You weren’t supposed to die. That was why you were rejected.”
"A-And? Am I going back to earth?” Jin asked timidly.
“Your body was burnt badly,” Ueda explained. “So that explains the problem we have now.”
Jin didn’t answer, obviously confused. “If your body was simply…how do I put it...injured,” Ueda said. “We can simply put you back in it. But since it is burnt, there are some problems.”
“Oh no…” Jin shook his head. “No…no…no… I need to see Kame… I can’t die. I-I can’t…”
Ueda huffed. “I suggest you put on some clothes first. We’re going to be waiting for a few more hours, I think.”
Jin squeaked as he realized that he was naked and quickly put on the clothes that appeared out of nowhere. He then sat at the edge of the bed while Ueda continued floating and playing in the air all by himself.
They waited about two hours (not that he really counted There’s no clock or whatsoever. It’s the heavens for goodness sake) before a loud bell rang. “Wait here,” Ueda ordered and Jin rolled his eyes, because well, he couldn’t possibly go anywhere.
Jin let out a squeak again when Ueda suddenly appeared infront of him again. “Maru has come up with a decision,” Ueda said.
“Who’s Maru?”
“That’s what we call him. His name is Nakamaru. He’s guardian 0001 of Heaven Adam and Eve forgivers number 1.0, Layer number 1, gate 1, cloud 1,” Ueda said. “Practically the head of us guardians.”
"O-Okay…”
“So,” Ueda started, staring at his clipboard that appeared so suddenly that it startled Jin. “It seems like leader is in a good mood.”
"W-Why?”
“He gave you two chances,” Ueda shrugged. “Most people get 0.5 chances.”
"W-What?”
“Nevermind,” Ueda shook his head. “Let’s go to the details and what you’re supposed to do.”
“Okay,” Jin answered again.
“You can choose,” Ueda said as he took out a long scroll and passed it over to Jin’s open hands.
“Well,” Ueda interrupted as he snatched back the scroll before Jin had finished reading.
“Let’s not read the rules first, shall we? We don’t want you to die in heaven too.”
"W-What?” Jin stammered; head incoherent as the information on the piece of long scroll registered in his mind. “Wait…K-Kame and I-I are soul mates?”
“Yea, well…” Ueda shrugged. “You can do your happy dance now.”
“A-Are we really going to die in 2058?” Jin asked again, ignoring Ueda’s joke.
“Yes,” Ueda answered bluntly.
“A-Am I supposed to find out about that? Shouldn’t that be a secret?” Jin said.
“As soon as you step out of this room, you’ll forget every bits of extra information you know,” Ueda explained. “So, it’s not that much of a deal. We need you to know everything…well almost everything, so you can make your decision.”
“O-Oh,” Jin nodded.
“You have five minutes to make them,” Ueda informed as another bell rang throughout the room.
“I’m going back to Earth,” Jin said immediately.
“Are you sure? You don’t want to think of it more?” Ueda questioned.
“If I were to stay here, I have to wait for Kame for another 46 years,” Jin shook his head. “I don’t want that. I want to go back. I want to set things right again.”
“Is that your final decision?” Ueda asked. “You won’t be able to change it once I ring the bell.”
Jin didn’t even hesitate as he nodded his head, face serious. Ueda gave him a soft smile before clapping his hands once. A small golden bell, with a red bowtie fell gently into his hands. “Going home!” Ueda shouted, ringing the bell loudly.
:::
“Okay, wake up, you pig,” Ueda growled as he kicked Jin’s legs.
Jin stirred eyes blurry as he forced them open. “W-Where am I?” he asked groggily.
“Earth,” Ueda answered simply. “That’s what you chose, no?”
“I-I’m back?!” Jin cried, almost in happiness.
“Yes, but take a look in the mirror,” Ueda said. He sighed when Jin simply looked confused and didn’t budge. He clicked his fingers and a small mirror appeared. He trusted them into Jin’s hands.
Jin screamed. “W-Who’s that?!”
“That’s you,” Ueda said.
“W-What? This isn’t my body!” Jin protested. “This isn’t m-”
“Koki Tanaka,” Ueda informed him. “You’re lending the body of Koki Tanaka.”
“I a-am w-”
“I told you before, your body was burnt in the flame explosion,” Ueda explained.
“A-And…?”
“And then comes the rules,” Ueda said.
“W-Why didn’t you tell me the rules before?” Jin questioned accusingly.
“Because you humans tend to change your minds after reading the rules,” Ueda said. “I don’t want you to be stopped just because of these rules set by that bloody fucker.”
Jin squeaked. “A-Are you cursing g-god?!” he exclaimed.
“I’m cursing Maru, you moron,” Ueda said. “Now, let me explain the rules. Sit up.”
Jin gulped, trying his best to sit up as Ueda’s eyes pierced his soul. “O-Okay,” he stammered.
Ueda nodded and started softly. “You are lending the body of Koki Tanaka, born on November 5, 1993. Koki died from brain tumour. He is an orphan and had always lived alone all his live. Since your body is burnt, you are given this body instead,” he said. “Koki had already given his permission. So don’t you worry about anything of that sort. Now, here comes the complicated bit.”
“For your soul to be revived again, you are to convince at least one human that you’re you,” Ueda said, pausing to make sure that Jin understood. When Jin nodded, he smiled sympathetically. “That human cannot be related to you by blood. And Maru had already given you the best candidate to persuade. And that, yes, is Kamenashi, your bestfriend.”
Jin scoffed at that last word, ignoring how his heart clenched. He had, of course forgotten whatever information that he knew before about them being soul mates. “That’s not all,” Ueda said. “Once you choose your target, you cannot change the person. You are given 3 days to do this and yes, you’re allowed to tell Kame about everything that you have seen or been through to convince him.”
“Why?” Ueda said, knowing the confusion in Jin’s eyes. “Because once Kame accepts that you’re really Akanishi Jin, your body will be returned and that accident that had happened will be erased. You won’t remember that this had ever happen nor would Kame or anyone else in fact. You’ll be sent back to the airport where you were before, and your life will be restored. You can continue on normally…as if I never made a mistake.”
“H-Huh?”
“I made a mistake. That’s why you’re dead,” Ueda said. “Guardians are supposed to be by their own human every single second to make sure that they live exactly as how it has been written. But I took a minute off and well…you died.”
“W-Why can’t they just u-undo it?” Jin asked.
“Nothing is as simple as that,” Ueda scoffed. “We have to see whether you’re worth going through the trouble for. And that your life won’t be a nuisance to anybody’s once you come back.”
Jin nodded, understanding Ueda’s words with much difficulty. “S-So, what now?” he muttered.
“I’ll release you from this vortex and you’ll be human again…only in a different body,” Ueda answered and only then did Jin realize that he was in a big white shield along with Ueda. There were nurses around them but they couldn’t see them. “And when I do release you, you have exactly 3 days to convince Kame. After the 3 days are up, at 12 noon sharp, you are to bring Kame or if you fail to convince him, you are to come by yourself and wait by the place you were supposed to die before. Nakamaru will make the decision then.”
"T-three days only?” Jin choked. "T-That’s too short!”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about it,” Ueda shrugged. Jin sighed, huffing out in annoyance.
“Is that all?” Jin finally asked, feeling lightheaded suddenly.
“No,” Ueda shook his head. “You cannot tell anyone else that is not of your blood relation about this. Only Kame. Everyone else will know you as Koki Tanaka.”
“What if I run into people who know Koki?” Jin asked.
“No, you won’t,” Ueda shook his head. When Jin wanted to protest again, Ueda growled. “Trust me, you won’t.”
Jin gulped. “F-Fine.”
“There’s three dots on your palm,” Ueda informed and true to his words, Jin saw exactly three black dots on his palms. “Each dot will disappear as each day past.”
Jin gulped. He nodded because he couldn’t possibly trust his voice then.
“I’ll release you once it’s twelve noon sharp,” Ueda said, nodding towards the digital clock on the wall behind them. “In 3…2…1…Good luck!”
:::
Jin walked down the streets, pulling on his clothes uncomfortably. Ueda had dressed him in a pair of tight black jeans and a white loose V-neck. The body he was using then was smaller than his and somehow he felt a little suffocated using it.
Because it was Ueda’s fault that he had died, Ueda had promised to dress and feed him while he was on earth for his mission. Jin stared as he reached his destination. It was Kame’s work place.
Kame works in a small book store a little further up the central district of Seoul. As Jin entered the store, the bell chimes by the door rang loudly. “Good afternoon,” a weak voice welcomed him. Jin froze as he met Kame’s eyes. He had lost weight rapidly, his cheekbones showing unhealthily. His hair was greasy and matted along the sides of his oily face.
Despite all of that, Jin’s breath hitched with the amount of love he felt for the male. “I’m gone for barely a day and you’re a mess,” Jin said. Kame’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“I’m sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?” Kame asked bluntly.
“Jin,” Jin corrected and saw Kame flinched visibly. “He’s gone for barely a day and you’re a mess.”
“I don’t know who you are, but you better stop,” Kame warned. “And he’s been gone for four months!”
Jin froze. “F-Four months?” he repeated.
“Yes, four months! Are you deaf?” Kame spat. “And who the hell are you?”
Jin stared. “I’ll come back again,” he said. “And my name is Koki Tanaka!” he shouted over his shoulders, shaking his head as he bolted out of the door.
“Ueda!” Jin shouted, voice piercing the air. He ignored the stares he received. What? Ueda replied.
“How the hell did it become four months?!” Jin demanded. “It was barely a day since I died!”
Do you think heaven’s time and your time are the same?
“You didn’t warn me though!” Jin hissed accusingly.
You didn’t ask.
“God, I feel like killing you,” Jin cursed. “And this is your entire fault that I have to go through this!”
I’m sorry.
Jin sighed. “Fine, but just…warn me next time. I don’t know what to expect anymore,” he said.
:::
“Kame, do you want a soda?” Yamapi asked.
“What?” Kame answered, sounding very much distracted. He kept thinking about the male he had met yesterday. Somehow the male felt familiar -too familiar. There was the warmth that followed him as soon as he entered the store and Kame had felt it -the ever so familiar warmth that used to belong only to him.
“A soda,” Yamapi said. “Do you want one?”
“Yes, you’re right,” Kame answered without listening to the question.
“Are you alright, Kame?” Yamapi asked; voice laced with worry.
“I’m fine,” Kame shook his head. “It’s just that…”
“Just that…?”
“There’s this man who came into the store yesterday,” Kame said. “He thou- nevermind.”
Yamapi raised his eyebrows. “What is it?” he prodded. “You can tell me, you know.”
“I know,” Kame sighed. “But I just don’t know how to put it in words.”
“Try?”
“I felt Jin’s presence when he was around,” Kame admitted, lifting his face up to meet Yamapi’s shocked eyes.
“I thought we talk about this already, Kame,” Yamapi muttered. “He won’t come back. Y-”
“I know,” Kame interrupted sharply. “That was why I didn’t want to tell you. You just won’t understand.”
“What am I supposed to understand, Kame?” Yamapi questioned. “That you think he’s going to come back? You were the one who saw his body, Kame. No one else did. You know he’s never coming back.”
“But these dreams are so vivid, Yamapi!” Kame cried out in exasperation. “I can feel him. Sometimes I can just feel him. And that man yesterday… it was as if Jin was there with me.”
“Kame, look at yourself,” Yamapi sighed. “All I can see is bones. Your cheeks are sucked in. I can break your hands in two easily. Your eye-bags are getting worse. You’ve got to stop this, Kame. You’re getting sick.”
“You don’t understand,” Kame repeated. “You just don’t.”
Yamapi shook his head, defeated. “I’ll fix us some food, okay?” he finally said.
“No, I have to go,” Kame said. He stood up, sighing for the umpteenth time before letting himself out of Yamapi’s penthouse.
Kame walked back to his store, his mind blank and swept out of all memories. “Kame!” a voice shouted and he looked up, feeling his heart skipped a beat as he saw the male that he had met yesterday.
Kame cocked his eyebrows. “How do you know my name?” he asked.
The male smiled. “Can we talk?” he asked. “Please?” he added when Kame looked reluctant.
“In the park,” Kame finally said, turning around on his heels again and leading the way. He sat down on a bench, eyes boring into the other male, waiting for him to start talking.
The male gave him a knowing look as though he was used to Kame’s behavior before settling down beside Kame.
“Kame,” the male started.
Kame flinched back. “Don’t touch me,” he warned. “I don’t know you.”
“Do you believe in miracles?” the male asked.
“What?” Kame said incredulously.
“Miracles, you said you believe in them before,” the male said.
Kame stood up. “You’re freaking me out,” he said. “I’m going.”
“Jin once told you that you’re the missing puzzle that god had wanted him to find,” the male called out towards Kame.
Kame’s eyes widened as he spun around. “Who told you that?”
“He said that if one day god wants grant him one wish, it’ll be to make you the happiest person on earth,” the male continued, revealing more and more of Kame’s and Jin’s secret to each other.
“He told you that you’re like a piece of hay in a sack of glass shreds - so painful to reach out for yet so precious and delicate. When you told him that you were lucky to have him, he told you that he was lucky to have you too, because you made the lifeless him, lively,” the male muttered; eyes hard as it stayed on Kame’s. “To him that was caged by layers and layers of steel expectations, you made him feel as though he was worth it and as though he has a reason to live. And that reason was you.”
“Shut up,” Kame hissed. “Shut up! STOP!”
“He loved you,” the male ended.
“Who are you?!” Kame demanded, stomping up to the male and glaring down at the seating him.
“Jin,” the male said softly.
“Are you insane?!” Kame shrieked.
“You said nothing is impossible, Kame,” the male said. “You told me that every time I wanted to give up. I died a day ago and I was given the chance to live again because it wasn’t my time yet.”
Kame stared. The male was insane -fucking insane. “A few hours up there are equivalent to a few months down here,” the male explained. “I didn’t know t-”
Kame stopped the male with a punch in the face.
“I promised to die one day after you!” the male shouted as Kame walked away. It stopped Kame in his tracks again. “You’re too precious for me. I don’t want you to live alone. I promised to die a day after you. Wasn’t that what I said? I’m sorry I didn’t keep it.”
Kame walked away.
:::
“Stop!” Hyumin cried as Hyukgi brought down the bat down onto Jin’s fragile body. “Stop hurting the boy!”
Hyukgi’s breath was ragged. “He’s trying to steal Jin’s belongings!” he shouted.
“I’m Jin!” Jin screamed for the umpteenth time that day. He had come down to his house the day after. He forced his way in when like Kame, neither of his parents believed him.
“You are bloody insane!” Hyukgi retorted. “How dare you-”
“Where’s my box?!” Jin shouted, cutting across Hyukgi’s words and Hyukgi raised the bat again to beat him.
“No, wait!” Hyumin said. “W-What box?”
“You can’t possibly-”
“The box I kept all my memories in!” Jin answered, again interrupting Hyukgi. “The one that held all my photos with Kame! The toys, keychains and presents Kame gave me! Where is it? It’s always at the bottom of the drawers…”
Hyumin gasped. Nobody knew the box existed except for Jin himself. She only found out about it after his death. “Did you throw it away?” Jin demanded. “Did you?!”
Hyukgi brought down the bat onto his shoulders again and he howled in pain. “W-Wait!” Jin cried. He ran out into the living room again. Hyukgi ran out after him, hands raised. Jin dodged as he bended down and opened a drawer. He took out a small box and jumped a step back as Hyukgi tried to hit him again.
“W-Wait,” he repeated as he struggled to open up the box that neither parents had seen before. He took out a cloth from it.
Inside the cloth was pieces of broken baseball bat, just like the one Hyukgi was holding. He held it up and successfully froze both his parents. “You beat me with this when I was ten,” Jin said in between harsh pants. “When I was third in class, you were so mad that you beat me up. You told me that I was a shame to the family and that I had no rights to be your son. I cried so hard. I begged you to stop but you didn’t,” he continued, tears welling up at the memory. “Mom tried stopping you but you pushed her aside. She got a bruise to her forehead and you didn’t bother apologizing. You beat me up till I bled. My left shoulder cracked and that was when you stopped. I kept this… I kept the bat that you used. I kept this to scare myself to always be the best. I kept this so that I won’t fail. When I was lazy or tired, I take this out. The memory of it scared me so much that my eyes can’t sleep and I’ll study through the night. You wanted a perfect son…this was how you got one. It hurts when you used it on me. Even now, it hurts…”
Hyukgi’s breath caught in his throat. “And mom,” Jin called out, eyes tearing as he stared at his mother. “Remember the diary you asked me to throw away?”
Hyumin nodded her head vigorously as Hyukgi stared at them both. “Because you were being so overly jealous that her old diary had pictures of her friends in it…the diary she kept since she was a teenager, you wanted to burn it,” Jin said as he watched Hyukgi with sharp eyes. “She cried to me and asked me to throw it away because she couldn’t bear to do it herself. It held all of her precious memories in it…”
Jin shook his head as he ran into the kitchen to take a chair. He brought it out towards the living room and placed it in the corner of the room. He stared at his parents as he climbed up. “I didn’t throw it away,” he said. Hyumi gasped as he reached out and opened a secret door on the small of the top wall right in the corner of the room. The diary fell down with a soft plop.
Hyukgi cried as he hugged Jin.
:::
Kame turned as the bell chimes of the door rang. “Good morn-” Kame froze. “What do you want?” he spat, a complete opposite to his initial greeting.
“It’s my last day today,” Jin answered, hands held out, showing the last sole black dot on his palm.
Kame stared. “Don’t give me that shit again,” he said.
“It’s my last day, Kame,” Jin begged, eyes watering. “I need to go at noon today. That’s four more hours. Please.”
“What do you want me to do?” Kame snapped suddenly, turning his chair around so fast that the whiplash made him wince a little. “Oh hey, I died in a flame. But now I got transferred into another body to tell you I love you.”
Jin whimpered softly as Kame mocked him. “If someone comes to you saying that, what will you do? Believe them?” Kame demanded. “If you do, you’re bloody stupid.”
“I didn’t put it that way,” Jin defended. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s all the same, Tanaka!” Kame shouted.
“I am not Koki!” Jin retorted, just as angrily. He stomped his feet and the next moment, Kame gasped as Jin stood tall in between his legs, hands holding his chins hard. Jin forced Kame to meet his eyes.
“Look at me. Do I look like I’m lying?” Jin demanded. “Look in my eyes, Kamenashi!”
“Don-”
“I don’t get anything out of it if I lie,” Jin cried. “Even if I am really Koki Tanaka, why, Kame, bloody why tell me, would I lie to tell you that I love you and disappear after today? I get nothing out of lying.”
"H-How do I know you’ll disappear after this?” Kame crocked, feeling the pain of Jin’s grip crept into his every vein.
Jin’s face contorted in anger. “I give up!” he screamed and released Kame’s chin angrily. He walked towards the door, stopping just as he reached the knob. He turned around.
“This was why I died!” he lashed out harshly, pointing to Kame accusingly. “If you allowed me to tell you that I love you -if only you told me you loved me before I left, I would have stayed, Kame. I was waiting for you to fight for me. But no, Yamapi’s more important, right?”
Kame flinched, the realization that the male knew a little too much about him enveloped his mind tightly. Yet, he still refused to believe that the male was Jin. Jin was dead. Kame saw the body.
“You never want to listen!” Jin shouted, voice charged with heavy exasperation. “This was why I had to made my own decision and run of out of the airport to be killed. This was bloody why you were bullied in third grade! This was why your father fucking died too!”
“I helped you when you fell down the stairs back in ninth grade. I fed you, I became your legs. I helped you when your mother abandoned you. You were so fallen and crushed. I was the only one there. When your father died, I told you it wasn’t your fault. I told you that it wasn’t your fault that he wanted to save you; that he chose to be the one hit by the lorry. But it was your fault!” Jin cried. “If you had listened to him and waited for him till he got out of the washroom instead of being a fucking baby, he’ll be alive, Kame! It was you who caused all of these! I hate you. I hate that I love you. I hate that everyone have to make the decisions for you.”
Kame’s heart skipped a beat. His tears fell as Jin refused to take back his word. “I’m going. You’re suspicious that I won’t disappear? Well, let’s see,” Jin continued mercilessly. “By noon today, I’ll no longer be here. Don’t cry yourself to sleep when you realize I’m not lying. You’re not worth my tears anymore, Kame. I fight and I fight for you, but you never see it. I’ll be gone. At noon sharp, they’ll take my soul away. At the place I was supposed to die…they’ll take it away. This time Kame, nobody can make the decision for you.”
Kame couldn’t do or say anything as Jin stared at him, giving him one last chance to fight for the male. But like always, Kame simply watched as Jin left the shop, tears still running at the mercilessness of Jin’s words.
:::
“Pi, I need you to check something for me,” Kame said urgently as he burst into Yamapi’s penthouse.
“Oh hello, Kame,” Yamapi greeted as though it was perfectly normal for Kame to barge into his house unnoticed.
“I need you to check for me something,” Kame repeated. “It’s really urgent.”
Yamapi spun around in his spinning chair and gave Kame a long look. Kame was looking at his watch. It was 9:39am and if that person was really Jin, Kame couldn’t afford to lose him for the umpteenth time. But Kame doesn’t want to be fooled. He needs evidences.
“You can check on someone’s background, no?” Kame asked. “Like how you checked on Yuki’s boyfriend.”
“Shhh! She’s inside! Do you want my sister to kill me?” Yamapi said; eyes wide as he pointed to the room on the left.
“Whatever, I need you to check on someone for me,” Kame said. “Please.”
“Alright, alright, come here,” Yamapi said, as he pulled on Kame’s arms into his room. “Do you mind telling me what this hastiness is about?”
“No time,” Kame shook his head.
Yamapi sighed. “Okay,” he said as he sat down and turned on his computer devices. “I need his name -full name if possible.”
“Koki Tanaka,” Kame said immediately.
Yamapi nodded, typing the name in. A thousand of links popped up. “Shit,” Kame cursed. “How do I find him now?”
“What do you want to know so badly anyway?” Yamapi asked.
“I want to know whether he’s dead or not,” Kame said, ignoring the widening of Yamapi’s eyes. “Please.”
“Okay, come here and sit down,” Yamapi beckoned, pulling a chair out from under the desk.
“They have pictures and biographies stored,” Yamapi explained and Kame didn’t even bother to ask how Yamapi have excess to it all.
An hour past and Kame grew impatient. “Shit, can’t you filter through them or something?” Despair was creeping into his voice as his face loses all of its colour.
“You have no information on him! How do I even filter through them?” Yamapi defended mildly.
“I’m sorry…” Kame sighed; face falling as he saw the time. “I just need the information by noon…”
“Why noon?” Yamapi asked. “Did something happen, Kame? Are you alright?”
Kame kept quiet. His face contorted and he furrowed his eyebrows as he racked his brain for a solution. After what seemed like an eternity, Kame jumped up from his statue-like position. “I know!” he shouted. “Jin died in the General Hospital!”
"K-Kame?” Yamapi called out, suddenly worried.
“If Koki’s really Jin, that body must have also died in the General Hospital,” Kame said aloud, thinking to himself while Yamapi looked scandalized.
“W-What are you talking about, Kame?” Yamapi asked.
“Thanks, Yamapi! And keep searching! If you find him, call me!” Kame exclaimed as he bolted out of the door, leaving behind a confused Yamapi.
Like the last time, Kame stole Yamapi’s motorcycle again and sped off to the General Hospital, only this time, with the mindset to save Jin. He pushed past all the unnecessary people and stood panting by the information counter.
“I need to find someone,” Kame panted hard. He spared the clock a glance and gulped when he saw that it was twenty six minutes to noon. “My brother,” he lied. “Koki Tanaka. Please look for him.”
If Koki’s record wasn’t in, Kame was left with no other choice. There was no way he’ll make it to Yamapi’s house again and back to the accident place.
“Koki Tanaka?” the nurse repeated and Kame nodded vigorously.
“I’m sorry, we’re no-” the nurse’s words were suddenly cut off as a loud magical cling was heard. “I mean, I’ll be glad to search him up for you,” she said.
Kame furrowed his eyebrows again. He was confused. Of course he didn’t realize that it was Ueda’s doing. He had changed the nurse’s mind with a wave of his hand. There was no way Ueda would let his human fail his mission. He must clear his name once again.
“I’m sorry,” the nurse said. “Tanaka-san has died of Brain tumor ten days ago.”
:::
“Jin!” Kame shouted. “No! I’m here! Jin! I’m here. Don’t go!”
Jin turned around, eyes wide as he saw Kame running towards him, stumbling a step away from him as usual. He caught Kame by the arm, eyes hard as he stared. “I’m here. You can’t go,” Kame begged. “Tell whoever’s in charge, you can’t go. I’m here, please.”
Jin doesn’t say a word because he was struck speechless. He could see the light already. It was a minute to noon. Kame staggered back a step when Jin’s eyes shone bright white. “N-No,” he begged.
Jin gasped softly when Kame fell onto his knees. “Please, I’m sorry that I was such a baby before,” Kame begged desperately. “I’m sorry that I didn’t send you to the airport. I’m sorry that I made you feed me before. I’m sorry that I made you walk with me. I’m sorry that I killed my father. I’m sorry that I never listened to you,” he continued. “But please don’t be sorry that you love me -because I love you too, Jin. I love you more than I could ever put it in words. I didn’t want to say it because I’m afraid that when I do, you’ll disappear just like how all of those people I love do. I didn’t want to tell you because you were always too good to be true.”
“I love it when you knocked my head and tell me that I’m a dork. I love it when you shove food down my throat when I’m sulking. I love that you never got tired of me no matter how much of a jerk I was,” Kame muttered. “Because I was too afraid, I pushed you away. But I love you. I really, really love you that I can die without you by my side. When you died, it was as if my heart died along with you. I was afraid. I was a coward. I didn’t want to believe you because it was impossible. You coming back for me seemed impossible…”
“I love you,” Jin whispered. “I live for you. I breathe for you. You never saw it.”
“I’m sorry,” Kame begged, still on his knees. “I’m really sorry.”
Pull him up. Jin looked around, a little startled as Ueda's voice rang loudly around him. It was then that he realized that time was frozen. The cars around them weren’t moving. The birds in the air were still.
Jin kneeled down and tilted Kame’s chin up. Well, that will do too. Jin ignored Ueda’s sarcastic voice. “H-Jin,” Kame whimpered; eyes wide. “Y-You’re Jin!”
Jin tilted his head, only then realizing that he was in his body again. “They returned it to me,” Jin muttered. His eyes glistened. Kame jumped onto him, pulling him in an impossibly tight embrace.
“I love you,” Kame whispered, lips moving against his bare neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Jin cried. He cradled Kame as though he was the most precious living thing on earth, because to Jin, he really was. He pulled back, gazing deeply into Kame’s eyes. “I’m sorry I said all those things to you,” he murmured. “I was wrong. Forgive me?”
Kame managed to smile between his tears. “What you said was true,” he whispered. “There’s nothing to be forgiven.”
Jin sighed, contented as he kissed Kame’s temple tenderly. He pulled Kame back into his arms as he looked up.
“Ueda?” he called out.
“I’m here,” Ueda said, appearing beside Jin, starling Kame who buried himself deeper into Jin’s chest immediately.
“What’s going to happen now?” Jin asked.
“You’re going back,” Ueda said, smiling softly at the duo.
“Back to four months ago?”
“Yes,” Ueda nodded.
“A-Are you going to l-live now?” Kame muttered.
Jin nodded. “I’m going back,” he repeated. “They’re sending me back. They’re sending me back to you.”