93 - Infinite Form
Finally posting one of my 93 fics. It's all safe and G to read. I can't get no smut working for 'em at the moment. This one was written for the30_kisses comm. Prompt # 6: The space between dream and reality. Hope you all enjoy. I'm as nervous as hell. @_@
Title: Infinite Form
Author: kambeiadaro [
ditch_gospel - beta]
Pairing: 93
Ratings: G, work safe.
Disclaimer: Saiyuki & it's characters belong to Kazuya Minekura.
Summary: Sanzo cheers up Goku with an unexpected treat.
Three days had yielded a limited pattern of events. There was no end to dreadful weather, youkai crawling out of thin air, humans who thought they were either saviors or the catalysts that would end time, and the endless bickering between them.
Before things could heat up once more, the four young men staggered into an inn in complete silence. No bickering, no youkai; nothing was going to prevent them from getting a room. They didn't care how odd it may have seemed to others as they mercilessly slaughtered youkai while booking a room.
“A room with 4 beds and a kitchen.” Hakkai had made that point clear as the trembling inn keeper complied.
“Yyes. On the the house!”
In the suite, they operated without words. They knew the routine. Goku knew they were all lost in thought about one thing or another. Their willpower was drained and they were getting sloppy. They needed this quiet time to build up the energy to face the coming endless days west.
In the hush around him, Goku's mind wandered off to where he lived constantly - the cave. Whenever his thoughts went there he got hungry and distracted himself with food. At times like this, not even food could do much. He just let himself be sucked into the darkness of that void. It's where familiar faces smiled at him with their all too knowing eyes. It was as if they towered over him as gods. It never comforted him, as many times the visions were skewed in blood or some other form of torment.
In the fog, created by the cave, the days and nights melded into one, becoming centuries on centuries without him knowing. Trees were worshiped by the time they got to be his age. Unknown to Goku, life existed so close, and yet those people regarded him as a monster. Never seeing him, never knowing he truly existed, they thought this.
Atop the mountain, everything went by fast - seasons, birds, any and all signs of life. Just as when he was in Jeep,before he could noticed the scenery it was gone and replaced by endless humdrum of sand or dirt roads. It was as if he was back in the cave, only here he had the option of getting out. But where to?
A cold chill ran up Goku's back. He realized he was flipping channels on the television without really knowing what was on. It didn't really matter. He placed the remote down. Looking around,he could smell the food Hakkai was preparing. The jade eyed man could lose himself in cooking. It was his escape, one thing he could control in every aspect. Gojyo was near by Goku running one hand through his hair as he flicked the lighter on and off in his other. The red-heads face was blank as he glared at the television as blindly as Goku had. He glided the remote to him.
“Why don't you see what's on?”
“Ughn.” Was Gojyo's response. He wasn't paying attention at all.
Goku got up to see where his blond ambrosia had hidden himself. He heard the shower running and saw the sleeping form of Jeep as he entered the bedroom. Their belongings were scattered about everywhere. He was surprised they managed to dump their things in here and not by the door as they came into the suite.
Sitting down on Sanzo's bed, Goku began to feel silly. The blond truly was more of a security blanket than ambrosia, maybe even both. The two were things that could make him stronger. As much as he fought for himself, it was all for Sanzo too. Goku needed to tell himself that, otherwise he would eventually reach a threshold in which he wouldn't need the support of the cranky monk. Sanzo was not something he could afford to lose.
Sanzo peeked at him from behind the bathroom door, his toothbrush still in his mouth. Upon seeing Goku, Sanzo's faced almost seemed as if he had an answer to a question. It made Goku think back to Sanzo being able to hear his voice. How was it that when his soul cried out, the mind of the purple eyed man picked up? Sanzo's master felt the same voice that was not a voice when it came to the blond. Maybe I'll hear it some day? Yeah, sure... Goku snickered and picked up Sanzo's clothes. He felt the shirt may be too light and looked for a heavier one.
Goku walked into the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet as he placed its cover down. After rinsing his mouth, Sanzo accepted the navy blue turtle neck Goku picked out with a “Hmph.” Putting on the sweater, he reached for his underwear and attempted to slip them on under his towel.
The towel had fallen, giving Goku a glimpse of Sanzo's naked crotch. That quick peak wasn't even enough to excite him as he would other times. Sanzo was rather private, so he would usually giggle whenever such a slip occurred. Sanzo would flush and smack him with the fan; he'd claim to be starving and everything was good. Goku didn't think such a situation could take place with their mood, so he remained silent.
“Goku.”
Sanzo found a candy in his pockets. Goku did become excited over this; it was unexpected. He heard Sanzo murmur about not having any more as he already indulged. Goku twirled the wrapper in his hands, feeling guilty his friend could not have any.
The food Hakkai was preparing was not exciting enough, yet this tiny candy from Sanzo was enough to brighten his day. I don't get it. Goku couldn't ponder why it was. Sanzo gave it up without a thought and he went and sucked it up in greed. The lights in the bathroom turned off, prompting him to look towards the door. Sanzo looked back at him.
“Did you need the light?”
“No.” He said it without thinking.
Sanzo retreated to the bedroom as Goku sat where he was. How long would it be until he didn't need Sanzo? They were both young adults who could act independently of each other.
Goku pushed the thought out of his head as he went into the bedroom himself. Sanzo took a cigarette out of his mouth and placed it back into its pack. With a groan, Sanzo lay on his bed, draping an arm over his eyes. There wasn't much light in the room. None of it hit Sanzo, though it did touch Goku's lap as he sat next to the blond.
Sanzo had his master's scripture taken from him just as that man's life was. Goku wished he knew Koumyou, Sanzo's light. Even if they ever got the Seiten scripture back, it would never return the father figure Sanzo lost. Goku knew what Sanzo did was for his master, but now retrieving the sutra was at stake with all of humanity. They were not out to be heroes; something private became public by intertwining the lives of millions.
Goku looked around the room. “Such a mess.” In more ways than one. Goku looked down at the candy wrapper still in his hands. Kiss. He looked at Sanzo and smiled. The flavor of the candy was orange, though it left a bland and sour taste in his mouth. It was the mood they were all sharing. Goku hoped the relationship he shared with the monk would never become the same.
He curved his body down to lay his torso on Sanzo's chest. His ambrosia twitched. Sanzo had been startled from sleep. Once again Goku's greed neglected him in knowing Sanzo's need. Goku fought for himself, but wanted to be strong for Sanzo. What for? He thought while sighing.
As Sanzo yawned, he stretched under Goku and lay his hand on the shorter man's hair. Goku smiled. He wanted more candy from Sanzo, and he knew that he would eventually get some from the man. It was something to look forward to in between the infinite spatiality that awaited them.