(no subject)
I have chosen to write this in word today; as it looks less conspicuous then what it would writing in LJ.
As most of you know I’ll be finishing up here at M+R next Tuesday; it’s going to be so sad, my lunch has been organised down at the Waterside Hotel and then Tuesday night go with the girls to Barcode for one last night of Karaoke. I know next Tuesday is still several days away, but it’s only really 4 business days away. It’s kind of sad, like I hate the job, I’m bored most of the time - but I love the people I work with, but hate what I have to do, I hate getting things wrong and not being perfect. In my new life I can be my perfect, not someone else’s perfect.
I wrote my “To-Do-List” before which looked something like this.
“Send all my files from this computer to my Hotmail address”
“Call Fitness First in Knox and chat to the Personal Trainer Co-ordinator”
“Talk to Danz”
“See Josh”
“Eat Burger”
“Drink Bourbon”
“Convince Nicole to buy my laptop”.
Yesterday’s to do list was much more interesting.
I wonder if this is how mum became OCD?
I’m getting used to not seeing any emails in my gmail account for people interested in perhaps participating in my business.
“It feels like fate, these are mistakes we are supposed to make”
“Sometimes it takes a lot to see the truth”
I’ve kind of decided I would like to take a month off and concentrate on the business whilst working at Kmart earning that little bit of extra cash. If I can score a job at Lifestyle Fitness or whatever that would be extremely awesome also.
I have my heart, my soul; it feels like my life is supposed to happen this way - I meant to feel failure but I’m also, in the end, supposed to feel success. I tend to believe in what is meant to happen will happen, and after first round offers that came out on Tuesday I now know that I am not supposed to take the Uni path, as much as I know that somewhere in the end I will end up there. But I know, I’ll be somebody, one day to someone, I’ll be a somebody. I’ll make things happen. What I want for myself is something more than average. I want for those people who read this who are from Melbourne and have never met me, but have read what I write; one day read the paper and see my name and go “oh yeah, I know her!”.
Thinking about the name of my business “KT PT” I kinda wish now that I had of stuck with Kamandakayt - or something simular like Kamanda Kayt’s Training. Kamandakayt is such a year 10 thing, when Amanda and I were star gazing we saw two shooting stars - one we named Kamanda and the other Mandate (no not after the male strippers!!) but because it had parts of both of our names. And it’s kinda just stuck. *half a smile* - it’s funny how memory’s never change, they always stay the same.
So anyway, yes I am living in a dream world - where people are always singing, Victoria really isn’t called the “Black State” and we haven’t just had Tuesday the 16th renamed to “Black Tuesday” due to the ridiculous amount of fires and people are always happy, always smiling and living their dreams.
Anyway - Martina is coming to Melbourne in approximately 3 weeks I think it works out to be yayness, haven’t seen her in over a year, so it will be good. I’ve changed a lot since then, and I’m sure she has changed also. =D For one she is 19 now - my god, time flies; she’s legal. She’ll be able to come to all the local places with J and I - the uncool places anyway! Lol See Larina this is why you need to come to Melb (I’m making you come for my 21st - doesn’t matter whats happening - even if I have to drive to Syd and drive you back okie dokie!!!) Not until August I know, but still….
I have said to much and these entries are starting to get too long winded and noone but me reads these.
B&B night tonight, get to see Josh - I think tonight will be a turning point. Who knows.