Fuck you, Boston
Ok, that was a bit rough.
The train ride back from the airport to the apartment was difficult at best. After spending nearly five weeks back at home, enjoying the company of family and friends, it was easy to forget that I had an entire life back in Boston. Being back home was weird in it of itself. Aside from being with my girlfriend, which I'll get to in a bit, I basically found my old life was more or less set on pause. I got home, picked up my old job, started doing the same things with my old and much missed friends--and with my old routine reestablished, it was so easy to forget my entire first semester in Boston.
My first semester in Boston was, I admit, rough. All at once, I had to literally survive in a city completely new to me, master a new school that is exponentially more "elite" (whether that's actually true or they just give the snobby impression is still up for debate in my mind), actually LEARN complex theories for the first time in years (I probably learned nothing new at Carthage within the last two years there), and do all of this on my own. Now alot of people, including myself when I contemplated the transition to Boston, would argue that it can't be that hard. I assure you it was, at best, a pain in the ass. I really can't describe the many lonely weeks of solitude where I wouldn't really talk to anyone outside of the classroom or at work. Even within the classroom, everything was so new and difficult to comprehend, I often left class completely confused and angry at myself for not understanding the readings at all.
Combine all that with the fact that I probably drank only four times last semester which left me virtually no outlet for venting. And who could I vent to? Friends back home? I did that on occasion, but I didn't want to turn into that person who constantly leans on his friends and forces them to shoulder his everyday problems. Another option is to vent to Chris, but she is probably the last person who wants to hear me complain about being in a place I chose to be which also coincides with the fact that it is 500 miles away from her. No, I'd rather not.
Needless to say, I was ready to go home at the end of last semester. The nice thing was that I was greeted well by all my friends, family, and especially by my girlfriend. Though I didn't spend enough time with everyone, I don't regret the times I did. I really feel that I made the most out of my break. I worked about four to five days a week, and then used that money to either take Chris out or spend it at the bars. I think I did all my typical vices that I neglected while in Boston: drank (alot, though not enough), smoked cigars, smoked hookah, stayed up at late hours, swore, acted like an idiot at times (ok, sometimes I can't prevent that). Even so, I had the opportunity to meet up with almost everyone I cared about, and it was nice to see that not much had changed while I was gone in Boson.
I think that the lack of change is what scared me. Don't get me wrong, it was only three months, so I'm not criticizing my friends or anything like that, it's just that I didn't realize simply how much information I had learned in that short period of time. I think that's the one thing that I actually did look forward to as the days drew nearer to my flight back to Boston: the fact that I have an opportunity to continue to learn something at the age where so many of my friends are either transitioning into adulthood or have settled into a life that will remain unchanged in the next ten years or so. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that transition into adulthood. In fact, I find a lot of respect in that. I just feel that I'm not ready for the 9 to 5 life. Maybe I'm scared of it in a way. Heh, that's why so many people go to grad school in the first place...
Oh, but Chris. Chris I miss you! Saying goodbye to her this time was so much harder for me than when we said goodbye in August. I didn't know what to expect when I first left for Boston, so I was hoping that I would find something to kind of help me avoid or forget how much I missed her. But this time around, I knew exactly what I was coming to, and I knew that there isn't anything out here that will help me forget in the least. She really is something else, and I love her. More importantly, however, is the fact that my family treats her as one of the family. I can't count the times my grandma has spoken Greek to Chris assuming that she understands what my grandma is saying. Chris just smiles and nods. And now I'm back in Boston, far from Chris. Fuck.
I guess I'm being too negative to things out here. It was nice going back to Boston College and seeing old (ok, not that old) friends and catching up with everyone. It's also nice to find that my classes and professors seem to be much more laid back than the previous semester. On top of all that, I'm sitting on two potential jobs, one of which would double my income from the previous semester. If I get that job, maybe I'll learn to start saving my money, though most likely I'll learn new ways to spend it. Yeah, things are looking a bit brighter. I'm just missing that big part of my life back at home.
The train ride back from the airport to the apartment was difficult at best. After spending nearly five weeks back at home, enjoying the company of family and friends, it was easy to forget that I had an entire life back in Boston. Being back home was weird in it of itself. Aside from being with my girlfriend, which I'll get to in a bit, I basically found my old life was more or less set on pause. I got home, picked up my old job, started doing the same things with my old and much missed friends--and with my old routine reestablished, it was so easy to forget my entire first semester in Boston.
My first semester in Boston was, I admit, rough. All at once, I had to literally survive in a city completely new to me, master a new school that is exponentially more "elite" (whether that's actually true or they just give the snobby impression is still up for debate in my mind), actually LEARN complex theories for the first time in years (I probably learned nothing new at Carthage within the last two years there), and do all of this on my own. Now alot of people, including myself when I contemplated the transition to Boston, would argue that it can't be that hard. I assure you it was, at best, a pain in the ass. I really can't describe the many lonely weeks of solitude where I wouldn't really talk to anyone outside of the classroom or at work. Even within the classroom, everything was so new and difficult to comprehend, I often left class completely confused and angry at myself for not understanding the readings at all.
Combine all that with the fact that I probably drank only four times last semester which left me virtually no outlet for venting. And who could I vent to? Friends back home? I did that on occasion, but I didn't want to turn into that person who constantly leans on his friends and forces them to shoulder his everyday problems. Another option is to vent to Chris, but she is probably the last person who wants to hear me complain about being in a place I chose to be which also coincides with the fact that it is 500 miles away from her. No, I'd rather not.
Needless to say, I was ready to go home at the end of last semester. The nice thing was that I was greeted well by all my friends, family, and especially by my girlfriend. Though I didn't spend enough time with everyone, I don't regret the times I did. I really feel that I made the most out of my break. I worked about four to five days a week, and then used that money to either take Chris out or spend it at the bars. I think I did all my typical vices that I neglected while in Boston: drank (alot, though not enough), smoked cigars, smoked hookah, stayed up at late hours, swore, acted like an idiot at times (ok, sometimes I can't prevent that). Even so, I had the opportunity to meet up with almost everyone I cared about, and it was nice to see that not much had changed while I was gone in Boson.
I think that the lack of change is what scared me. Don't get me wrong, it was only three months, so I'm not criticizing my friends or anything like that, it's just that I didn't realize simply how much information I had learned in that short period of time. I think that's the one thing that I actually did look forward to as the days drew nearer to my flight back to Boston: the fact that I have an opportunity to continue to learn something at the age where so many of my friends are either transitioning into adulthood or have settled into a life that will remain unchanged in the next ten years or so. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that transition into adulthood. In fact, I find a lot of respect in that. I just feel that I'm not ready for the 9 to 5 life. Maybe I'm scared of it in a way. Heh, that's why so many people go to grad school in the first place...
Oh, but Chris. Chris I miss you! Saying goodbye to her this time was so much harder for me than when we said goodbye in August. I didn't know what to expect when I first left for Boston, so I was hoping that I would find something to kind of help me avoid or forget how much I missed her. But this time around, I knew exactly what I was coming to, and I knew that there isn't anything out here that will help me forget in the least. She really is something else, and I love her. More importantly, however, is the fact that my family treats her as one of the family. I can't count the times my grandma has spoken Greek to Chris assuming that she understands what my grandma is saying. Chris just smiles and nods. And now I'm back in Boston, far from Chris. Fuck.
I guess I'm being too negative to things out here. It was nice going back to Boston College and seeing old (ok, not that old) friends and catching up with everyone. It's also nice to find that my classes and professors seem to be much more laid back than the previous semester. On top of all that, I'm sitting on two potential jobs, one of which would double my income from the previous semester. If I get that job, maybe I'll learn to start saving my money, though most likely I'll learn new ways to spend it. Yeah, things are looking a bit brighter. I'm just missing that big part of my life back at home.