wow, work, is this being keystroke logged? who tf knows
I used to do this all the time at my old job. Now I am 36.
Work has honestly murdered my entire psyche. Like, jump off the 183/Duval overpass murder.
I've been here by myself doing 2 jobs that i thought i could do but lol no, they decided to dump everything on me.
Then we got audited.
I'm so pissed, disappointed, and not getting paid enough for this.
I am currently malding over buying a skirt that doesn't fit despite being the same as 5 others I have right now. I paid 11 dollars for this fucker. I can't return it because I took the tag off.
I used to not give a fuck over that stuff but here I am losing my shit over it.
meanwhile dan is spending hundreds of dollars on gun shit and protein powder.
he is turning into something gross and/or scary, or at least I am scared that he is.
I don't know why he thinks he needs to bulk up. it isn't attractive. He says he isn't doing it for anyone else but it sure did come out of nowhere. if anything it makes him smell fucking terrible when he sweats. like nauseating. i can't tell him that though because he gets butthurt about it so i just try to deal with it, even though i have a sensitive sense of smell.
i've been working out myself because of nutritionist helping me with blood pressure for about a year. I have a very tiny bit to show for it. No weight loss. Still pretty flabby despite weight training. Still get tired doing cardio. Probably dying of some kind of disease.
oh, and also! this is not really a new development but ...... have ya heard of graysexuality? it's on the ace spectrum, or so I think. I am very new to looking into all of this. You know. But i wonder if it's just my lack of drive or the meds I take but I just... don't want to do anything. Romantic, cuddling, skinship as the kids call it yes but once it turns sexual I am fuckin out of there mentally and revulsed.
and I think of this with anyone I would be attracted to, it's not just a dan thing.
This isn't a conversation I want to have with him because I know it will be handwaved and all this. I used to be a very sexually charged person but the last like year it's just gone. Like, there is no appeal to me. And I can tell that dan wants to start stuff like all the time and I nope out of there. when we sleep I go into a cross-leg pose automatically, it seems like.
ANYWAY thats depressing lets talk about uhhhhhhhhhhh animu since i'm watching stuff again. I watched all of vinland saga that is out now and i really like it, sad i have to wait for an s3 but maybe i will take up the manga.
same for oshi no ko which i watched entirely at work on a sketch website lmao. i think i found where i can read that manga easily. memcho best because she embodies my age issues
oshi no ko got me back into listening to idol music like i used to in the late 00s. as such i am listening to stuff from that era, i need to find out what the cool current shit is. i don't think that was the point of the show, but oops.
started watching zombie land saga also, it's cute so far. Saki is my favorite.
it's getting busier here and i should probably stop neglecting my work but i am so burnt out this is my one small thing for today.
bleh.
no one reads this anyways this is mostly for my own benefit and word vomit.
also i hate austin and want to leave lol xd
<3 Kamaka
coping and seething since 2003
Work has honestly murdered my entire psyche. Like, jump off the 183/Duval overpass murder.
I've been here by myself doing 2 jobs that i thought i could do but lol no, they decided to dump everything on me.
Then we got audited.
I'm so pissed, disappointed, and not getting paid enough for this.
I am currently malding over buying a skirt that doesn't fit despite being the same as 5 others I have right now. I paid 11 dollars for this fucker. I can't return it because I took the tag off.
I used to not give a fuck over that stuff but here I am losing my shit over it.
meanwhile dan is spending hundreds of dollars on gun shit and protein powder.
he is turning into something gross and/or scary, or at least I am scared that he is.
I don't know why he thinks he needs to bulk up. it isn't attractive. He says he isn't doing it for anyone else but it sure did come out of nowhere. if anything it makes him smell fucking terrible when he sweats. like nauseating. i can't tell him that though because he gets butthurt about it so i just try to deal with it, even though i have a sensitive sense of smell.
i've been working out myself because of nutritionist helping me with blood pressure for about a year. I have a very tiny bit to show for it. No weight loss. Still pretty flabby despite weight training. Still get tired doing cardio. Probably dying of some kind of disease.
oh, and also! this is not really a new development but ...... have ya heard of graysexuality? it's on the ace spectrum, or so I think. I am very new to looking into all of this. You know. But i wonder if it's just my lack of drive or the meds I take but I just... don't want to do anything. Romantic, cuddling, skinship as the kids call it yes but once it turns sexual I am fuckin out of there mentally and revulsed.
and I think of this with anyone I would be attracted to, it's not just a dan thing.
This isn't a conversation I want to have with him because I know it will be handwaved and all this. I used to be a very sexually charged person but the last like year it's just gone. Like, there is no appeal to me. And I can tell that dan wants to start stuff like all the time and I nope out of there. when we sleep I go into a cross-leg pose automatically, it seems like.
ANYWAY thats depressing lets talk about uhhhhhhhhhhh animu since i'm watching stuff again. I watched all of vinland saga that is out now and i really like it, sad i have to wait for an s3 but maybe i will take up the manga.
same for oshi no ko which i watched entirely at work on a sketch website lmao. i think i found where i can read that manga easily. memcho best because she embodies my age issues
oshi no ko got me back into listening to idol music like i used to in the late 00s. as such i am listening to stuff from that era, i need to find out what the cool current shit is. i don't think that was the point of the show, but oops.
started watching zombie land saga also, it's cute so far. Saki is my favorite.
it's getting busier here and i should probably stop neglecting my work but i am so burnt out this is my one small thing for today.
bleh.
no one reads this anyways this is mostly for my own benefit and word vomit.
also i hate austin and want to leave lol xd
<3 Kamaka
coping and seething since 2003