Particularly for Glitterboy

[kalypso_v]

My mother gave me a slim volume called The Book of Cats for Christmas which, as she said, is better than you think it's going to be. It's an anthology of various poems and prose pieces on cats, illustrated by drawings and (non-fluffy) photos. The cat on the cover is very like both our Thomases (you can't see his feet to check which he's more like). Anyway, the poem which cracked us up is called The Insult, by Paul Gallico, and I thought I'd post it here. It's illustrated by a miffed-looking tabby heading off through the grass.



The Insult

I have been insulted.
My feelings have been hurt
And I am not coming back into the house.
You laughed at me.
Don't think that I was fooled.
You weren't laughing with me
But AT me
When I lost my balance
Washing,
And fell over.
You laughed,
And it wasn't funny.
All my grace, control, and dignity were gone;
You robbed me of my image of myself
And with your braying
All but destroyed my pride.
Don't think I cannot take a joke.
There's nothing lacking with my sense of humour,
I just don't like being made to look ridiculous.
It's no use your standing there calling,
'Kitty, kitty, kitty!'
Or offering me bribes.
Your coarse laughter
Has offended me deeply
And it may take me some time to get over it,
Or never.
If and when I come back at all
It will be
In my own sweet time.

Paul Gallico