This is why I hate December. They're all like this this time of year.
ME: Good afternoon, Shiny Office, may I help you?
CLIENT: I want to speak to Attorney.
ME: I'm sorry, he's in an appointment right now, would you like to leave him a voicemail?
CLIENT: He was in an appointment the last time I called, too.
ME: Yes, we have a lot of meetings scheduled today, is there someone else I can try that might be able to help you?
CLIENT: No, I want to talk to Attorney.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Ah. It's going to be one of those conversations. *gets comfortable*
ME: I'm sorry, he's not available at the moment, but I can try his assistant if you like, maybe she could could check his schedule for when he'll be available.
CLIENT: I don't want to talk to his assistant, I want to talk to him.
ME: Well, I'm sorry, he's with a client just now.
CLIENT: I'm a client.
ME: Yeeees. But he's still unavailable.
CLIENT: Well I want to talk to him and he's never available when I call.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: I wonder why that could be...
ME: I'm sorry, I know it can be frustrating trying to reach him this time of year. Perhaps if you wouldn't mind speaking to his assistant--
CLIENT: I want to talk to him. What do I have to do to talk to him now.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Be his wife calling him about something involving his daughter and an ambulance.
ME: I'm afraid there is nothing I can do to help you right now, sir, let me try his assistant for you. *hits HOLD button before further protests can be uttered* Wow, I hate our clients.
CLIENT: I want to speak to Attorney.
ME: I'm sorry, he's in an appointment right now, would you like to leave him a voicemail?
CLIENT: He was in an appointment the last time I called, too.
ME: Yes, we have a lot of meetings scheduled today, is there someone else I can try that might be able to help you?
CLIENT: No, I want to talk to Attorney.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Ah. It's going to be one of those conversations. *gets comfortable*
ME: I'm sorry, he's not available at the moment, but I can try his assistant if you like, maybe she could could check his schedule for when he'll be available.
CLIENT: I don't want to talk to his assistant, I want to talk to him.
ME: Well, I'm sorry, he's with a client just now.
CLIENT: I'm a client.
ME: Yeeees. But he's still unavailable.
CLIENT: Well I want to talk to him and he's never available when I call.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: I wonder why that could be...
ME: I'm sorry, I know it can be frustrating trying to reach him this time of year. Perhaps if you wouldn't mind speaking to his assistant--
CLIENT: I want to talk to him. What do I have to do to talk to him now.
MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Be his wife calling him about something involving his daughter and an ambulance.
ME: I'm afraid there is nothing I can do to help you right now, sir, let me try his assistant for you. *hits HOLD button before further protests can be uttered* Wow, I hate our clients.