Grr.
Dear snooty clients:
Please note for future reference that, should you become lost while attempting to reach our office, you may only kvetch about my (allegedly inaccurate) directions if you actually follow them in the first place. By taking the off-ramp before or after the one listed in my (in fact, completely reliable) directions, you forfeit any right you may have had to blame me for the fact that you are lost and/or late for your appointment. Any complaints/abuse/finger-pointing directed at myself after such a departure from the directions will be met with an apology so loaded with irony that you, your attire, and any unlucky potted plants nearby might actually combust.
To avoid combustion, please just stick with the facts and admit that you just can't follow directions.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I remain yours respectfully,
The Receptionist
Please note for future reference that, should you become lost while attempting to reach our office, you may only kvetch about my (allegedly inaccurate) directions if you actually follow them in the first place. By taking the off-ramp before or after the one listed in my (in fact, completely reliable) directions, you forfeit any right you may have had to blame me for the fact that you are lost and/or late for your appointment. Any complaints/abuse/finger-pointing directed at myself after such a departure from the directions will be met with an apology so loaded with irony that you, your attire, and any unlucky potted plants nearby might actually combust.
To avoid combustion, please just stick with the facts and admit that you just can't follow directions.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I remain yours respectfully,
The Receptionist