Probably You, Hopefully Not [infinite; hoya/sungkyu]
Probably You, Hopefully Not
hoya/sungkyu
pg-13, au, 7881 words
In between Pictionary, dramatic pre-teens, and a healthy amount of snark, Howon makes an unwelcomed realisation. But first he has to thank Bora for the trash she left at his door.
originally posted here for eightninetwo as part of infinitesanta!
So Howon's morning was not off to a great start. His phone had ran out of battery during the night, making him miss his alarm; his favourite lavender body wash ran out; he accidentally knocked his toothbrush off it’s holder and into the sink; and he ended up tripping and ripping his laptop charger as he shuffled out of the bathroom, distinctly not smelling of lavender, and with a bad taste on the back of his tongue.
As such, he can’t really be faulted when the first thing out of his mouth when he sees Sungkyu on his and Dongwoo’s living room couch is: “Get the fuck out.”
Sungkyu turns around, blinks at him a few times, before returning to the Saturday cartoons playing on TV.
Dongwoo shuffles sleepily out of his room a few seconds later, eyes droopy and voice husky as he mumbles him and Sungkyu a “good morning” without a second glance. Howon assesses the scene warily, but when Dongwoo flat out offers Sungkyu a bowl of cereal, he snaps and makes his way to where Dongwoo was padding aimlessly in the kitchen.
"Hyung, can I talk to you for a moment?” Howon asks through clenched teeth. Dongwoo tilts his head and pouts. Howon is very much aware that it’s not the best idea to broach this topic when Dongwoo’s awareness is only at about 65%, but it’s an urgent matter.
“About what?” Dongwoo asks, confused. He picks up a banana from the fruitbowl and throws it at Sungkyu, who misses and ends up whacking himself in the face. Howon contemplates the circumstances as best as he can, decides that he doesn’t waste enough Saturdays, and shuffles back into his room to go to sleep.
Through some intense prayer, defiance of the laws of nature, or whatever you believe in, Sungkyu has a girlfriend. A really hot one at that. Bora was in Sungkyu's Lyricism class during his final year of college and would always frequent the same bar as him afterwards. They were friends first... He thinks? Or at least he's pretty sure. Anyway, one day Sungkyu was complaining to Woohyun about how unsubtle her dress was. She was loudly proclaiming to Hyorin what a fucking douche the red haired kid in her Lyricism class was. Then in the next minute they were making out against the pool table while Howon looked away and Woohyun pretended he wasn't surreptitiously watching from over his drink. Howon doesn't pretend to understand it. He doesn't want to understand it.
Really, considering the first time he met Bora, he'd accidentally asked her if she was dating Sungkyu, and she had laughed and said "He's definitely not the kind of guy I would ever think of dating", he shouldn't be surprised at the turn of events. Four years going "strong" (objectively, he guesses) and moving in together, doesn't change the fact Germaine Greer was basically dating John Lennon. And now here Howon was. Angry, annoyed, and forced to share his seaweed with the douchiest member of The Beatles.
"Can't you just go talk to her? I mean, she can't just kick you out of your own apartment. This whole thing seems kind of unnecessary," Dongwoo says in between slurps of his ramen. "I mean, obviously I don't mind you staying here. it just seems, I don't know, a bit extreme."
"Well..." starts Sungkyu, reaching for another piece of seaweed, "Technically it's her apartment. She owns it, I'm just paying rent."
"Didn't you say something about how a man letting a woman that's not his mother provide for him is a sign of weakness?" Howon says, raising an eyebrow.
Sungkyu has that look of complete disbelief on his face that he usually has when he knows he's about to say something full of shit. "What, no I didn't? That's ridiculous."
Dongwoo freezes, chopstick halfway between the bowl and his mouth. "Yes you did? Remember? At your 23rd Birthday party, when your mum was joking about you moving back in with her? Then you and Bora had that huge fight and the whole drama with the fire hydrant?"
"God, that was so embarrassing," Howon mumbles, stealing some ramen from Dongwoo's bowl.
"Okay, well obviously I don't believe that anymore."
"Sure."
"I wrote a written apology and everything! Bora has them in a folder on her laptop."
Dongwoo splutters. "Bora has a folder full of written apologies by you?"
Howon pinches his nose between his fingers. "Why in the world would my girlfriend kick me out of our apartment?" he says in a great imitation of Sungkyu. If he does say so himself.
"This was literally two years ago, why do you guys even remember these things? Look, I'm sure things will settle down in a little while, alright? Just let me stay here for a few days until I manage to talk things out."
"Of course!" Dongwoo exclaims, patting his chest roughly. "Our home is always open to you, hyung!"
Howon stabs Dongwoo's thighs with his chopsticks. "Yeah, because we haven't fixed the lock on our door yet. Someone's actually going to break in one day, you know?" He pushes himself up from the floor, officially done with this conversation. Officially done with Sungkyu. Officially done with Dongwoo. "Our couch is open to you, when we're both asleep. The bathroom is open to you, when I don't need it. I'm going to bed, have fun."
Sungkyu blows him a kiss. "Stop being so cute all the time Howon, or else I'll never be able to leave."
"I will murder you in your sleep."
Sungkyu takes the last seaweed from the packet. "You're going to have to clean up the blood."
Damnit. Sungkyu knows him too well.
Howon has a really pleasant dream -- the kind of dream that stays with you after you wake up -- and he knows it's going to be a good day. He's pretty efficient in the morning (minus the The Worst Morning Ever -- yesterday), something that inevitably manages to annoy anyone he’s ever had to sleep in a close vicinity of. So while Dongwoo stands in the bathroom for half an hour, staring at his sleepy reflection in the mirror with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, Howon runs on a motor.
He powers through the motions, and as always, has time to spare. He makes himself a bowl of cereal and plops himself down on the lumpy couch. The couch yelps. Howon panics and smashes the cereal bowl against it..
Mornings will never be good for Howon again.
Once Howon and Sungkyu are sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, and Dongwoo is convinced he's managed to somewhat pacify the situation, Dongwoo speaks. "Okay, I thought our natural synergy would be enough for this to work. But obviously we're going to have to establish some house rules."
Dongwoo brings out a sheet of paper from his pocket, but Sungkyu raises his hand to stop him before he can even begin. "Look, I know I'm being an obvious inconvenience, but I don't enjoy being one. I'm not going to promise that I’m going to be easy to live with, but I'll try and keep to myself. All I ask for is Howon not try to give me a concussion."
Dongwoo nods. "That's a fair term. Howon?" he looks at Howon expectantly.
"Can I talk to my lawyer?" Dongwoo stamps his foot on the ground and Howon sighs. "Fine. I'm sorry. It'll just take a few days to... re-orientate myself."
"Good. That's good. This is such a mature discussion! I knew this would work, everyone else was wrong." Dongwoo looks positively gleeful.
Howon beckons towards Dongwoo. "Okay hyung. You can show us your house rules."
"Oh um," Dongwoo smooths out the paper in front of him. "It’s nothing… I can’t even read my handwriting anymore. Something about a communal pictionary game in the living room.”
Sungkyu and Howon's places of work are located right next to each other, one janitor’s closet from each other if you wanted to be specific, and it isn't a coincidence. Fresh out of college, they bonded over the fact they were the only two of their friends to not think pragmatically, and ended up graduating with arts degrees. They then immediately unbonded after they both ended up applying for the exact same spot in a Music Academy. The owner had taken pity on them and ended up making jobs for both of them, and so Howon became the dance instructor at Woollim Academy, while Sungkyu got the originally advertised janitorial position, but eventually got promoted to becoming a singing instructor.
It's a bit strange taking the bus together to work. Usually Howon would just walk the thirty minutes there, as exercise. But due to the incident in the morning he was running late, and from Sungkyu's "Ha! Hahaha. Haha... wait you're kidding right?" when told about Howon's usual routine, he supposes he won't be walking for a while.
The bus isn't heated and it's considerably cold during this time of the year. Howon always brings extra jackets with him despite the fact his abnormally high body temperature means he rarely feels the chill. From beside him however, Sungkyu only has a flimsy cardigan on over his shirt, and is shivering profusely.
Howon sighs and peels off his top layer, a camel jacket given to him by Sungjong for his 21st Birthday, and offers it out to Sungkyu.
Sungkyu shakes his head. "No," he struggles to speak through chattering teeth, "I'm perfectly fine."
Howon snorts. Whatever. He places the jacket carefully in the space between them. Five minutes later Sungkyu pries it out and drapes it over himself.
"Shut up," Sungkyu growls. Howon holds back his smirk.
There's this one girl called Bohyun, nine years old, in Howon's dance class who he's pretty certain has a crush on Sungkyu. Before, she would always be lingering around the classroom where Sungkyu was teaching a bunch of eight year olds how to sing, looking like she was having a revelation. Now, after Sungkyu and Howon had started arriving to work together, and she began to catch on to the fact that they knew each other, she's been staying back during class while Sungkyu waited for Howon to pack up, asking for some "constructive criticism" on her dancing.
If Sungkyu noticed before Howon did, he didn't say anything. Maybe because he knew Howon would bring it up over dinner one day (which he did), and wanted to delay the inevitable teasing as long as possible. Truth be told, Howon thinks it's pretty cute. She's always doing random jigs which Howon is 98% sure he never taught the class, and beaming directly as Sungkyu while asking Howon to evaluate her performance. Okay, it’s not pretty cute, it’s downright adorable. Sungkyu doesn't disagree, no matter how much Dongwoo ribs him about his rebound from Bora being a nine year old in braces. "She's sweet," he says, "I don't know why, but she stirs up fondness in me. Reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it."
Today Bohyun presents Howon with a cartwheel that she probably learnt in her gym class, along with some strange interpretive dance that Howon doesn't think he has the intelligence to understand. She finishes off with a curtsy and smiles right at Sungkyu while Howon claps for her.
"How did I do?" she asks.
Sungkyu gives her a thumbs up. "You did great! Did you make the choreography up yourself?"
Bohyun nods. "Yeah. I actually got inspiration from one of seonsaengnim’s choreographies."
Howon raises an eyebrow. Some of the movements had looked familiar, but honestly Howon's made up so many dances in the last year or so, he's ashamed to admit he has difficulty recalling some of them.
"Oh! Was it Howon's dance to 'Lights Off'? I really enjoyed that one. But if you're going to perform that masterpiece in the future make sure to credit him. I wouldn't put it past this kid to try and pull a lawsuit on one of his students. He's so desperate, it's disgusting."
The warmth of surprise Howon felt at Sungkyu being able to recall his choreography so quickly, especially considering the resistance he puts up whenever Dongwoo and Sungjong drag him to one of Howon's rehearsals, dissipates. Howon sneers and throws an empty water bottle at Sungkyu, and Bohyun laughs.
Howon has his bag over his shoulder and is about to push Sungkyu out the door so they don't miss their bus when he notices Bohyun taking a seat on the practice room floor.
"Bohyun? What's wrong? Don't you have a ride home?" he asks.
Bohyun looks up in surprise, blinking at Howon with bright eyes. "Oh no! I do. But my mum couldn't come today, so my aunt is picking me up instead. She always runs a little late."
Sungkyu raises an eyebrow at Howon who shrugs back. "Do you want us to stay back with you Bohyun?" Sungkyu asks.
Bohyun's jaw drops, and a red blush broils itself on the apples of her cheek. She slaps her hands over her face. "This is exactly like my dream..." she whispers to herself a little too loudly. Sungkyu blushes and Howon guffaws. After a few seconds Bohyun seems to have regained her cognitive abilities and looks towards Sungkyu and Howon with a face of faux disinterest. "Yeah, sure. If oppas aren't busy, you can help me with my maths homework.."
Thirty minutes later Bohyun's enchantment with Sungkyu has significantly faded, as tends to happen. Howon has to pry her fingers away from her hair when it looks like she's about to tug at it for the hundredth time in ten minutes.
"What are you doing? How can one hundred and twenty three be a multiple of two! It's not even an even number!"
Sungkyu growls and grabs the eraser from Bohyun's pencilcase, rubbing out his work furiously. "I'm sorry! I was never good at Maths!"
Bohyun humphs. "You told me you were first in your class."
"I was!" Sungkyu defends. "But I was always a humanities student. Look, I'm a music teacher. It's pretty much obligatory that at least more than half of us suck at Maths, to make everyone else feel better."
"I feel like you've said the same thing to me everytime you forgot to pay the bills," a familiar voice drawls from behind them.
"Unnie!" Bohyun calls.
Sungkyu looks up and falls backwards. "Fuck! I mean, shit. I mean, Bohyun block your ears."
Bora glares at Sungkyu and Bohyun puts her hands over her ears and hums. "I heard nothing. I saw nothing."
"She learns her coping mechanism from you," Sungkyu mutters. Bora smirks at him, and they end up in a tense staring contest of sorts. Howon fidgets from where he's sitting beside Sungkyu, feeling like a bigger third wheel than when he's out with Myungsoo and Sungyeol.
Bohyun, who finally seems to have caught up with the current events, looks between her aunt and Sungkyu. "You two know each other?" she asks.
Bora breaks her awkward eye contact with Sungkyu. "He was my uh... roommate."
Bohyun's eyes widen like saucers. She beckons Bora forward with her hand, and attempts to whisper in her ear. "Are you still going to be okay coming to our wedding?"
Bora immediately straightens up. "Sungkyu is the music teacher you said you were engaged to?" she asks, sounding comically betrayed.
"Oh my God! He's right here, why would you say that!" Bohyun shrieks. She looks at Sungkyu, eyes watery, and makes a small sound before turning back to Bora. "ARGH!" she yells, bolting out of the practice room.
"Bohyun I'm sorry! It's just you said he looked like Harry Styles, and I was taken by surprise!"
"Thanks..."
Bora seems to finally register that she did just kick Sungkyu out of their apartment two weeks ago, and they possibly have a few things to hash out. She looks like she's about to reach a hand out to help him off the floor but thinks better of it, and extends it to Howon instead. "Hey Howon," she smiles, pulling him up, "I'm sorry about the trash I left on your doorstep."
Howon's always liked Bora. Great gal. "No worries. But um," he looks between Sungkyu and her, "maybe you two might have some things to talk about..."
Bora thins her lips, and Sungkyu looks like he's about to follow in Bohyun’s steps and run crying out the door.
"I don't think there's anything to discuss."
Howon coughs. "I um, respectfully disagree. Sungkyu, I'll be waiting outside."
He makes a beeline out the door and doesn't look back, not wanting to witness Bora and Sungkyu's World War XC. When he leaves the building he finds Bohyun sitting outside on the pavement, sniffling and rubbing her face. Howon sighs and takes a seat next to her.
"Hey Bohyun..."
Bohyun whimpers and moves to hide her face in her arms. "Hi," she murmurs.
"You know, it's not as embarrassing as you think it was. Sungkyu doesn't mind."
Bohyun stays silent for a beat, and then looks up at Howon, a twisted smirk on her face that no nine year old should know how to do. "I know, it's not that. I just... I feel betrayed."
Howon blinks. "Betrayed? Bora didn't mean to say it out loud."
Bohyun shakes her head. "No, she did. I'm not stupid. Unnie tells me she lives with a roommate who's a guy, but I know for a fact they're actually in a De Facto relationship. And that she's frustrated because he seems scared of commitment, but at the same time she's not sure she's ready for commitment either, especially when she doesn't know who she really is without a pretentious cad on her arm who doesn’t even respect her."
Howon isn't dumbstruck often. Never would he have thought he'd be rendered speechless by a nine year old with a crush on Sungkyu of all people. "Uh..."
Bohyun shrugs. "I listen in to her and my mum's phone conversations sometimes."
"Oh, well that's--"
"But I didn't know!" Bohyun yells, throwing her arms up in the air. "I swear I had no idea! I didn't know anything about Unnie’s boyfriend, I swear! I only found out it was Sungkyu oppa today. And I don't get it. She kicked him out right? That means she doesn't like him anymore. So why did she have to humiliate and sabotage me like that. For God's sakes, I'm nine! I love Bora unnie, but is she really that insecure?"
Howon massages his temples with two fingers. He is so not prepared to have this conversation right now. "Bohyun, I think maybe you're overthinking it a little bit? I'm sure Bora didn't mean to sabotage your chances with Sungkyu because she wanted him back. Maybe she really was shocked? After all, they were together for a really long time. She was probably just surprised."
Bohyun pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. Howon pats her back consolingly. "I know right now, Sungkyu seems really cool, and nice, and like the perfect guy. But I mean, you love your Aunt Bora, right?"
Bohyun nods.
"Then, don't you think there's a reason she broke up with Sungkyu? You trust her judgement, right?"
"I do. Bora unnie has incredible taste." Bohyun sniffs and swipes an arm over her eyes. "Does that mean Sungkyu is going to be forever alone?"
Howon snorts. "I'm sure there's someone who's terrible enough to be perfect for Sungkyu somewhere."
As if summoned, Bora and Sungkyu finally emerge from the building, the former looking exhausted and the latter looking close to traumatised. Bohyun perks up and runs to link her arms with Bora's.
"I forgive you," Bohyun says. "Just don't do anything like that again okay."
Bora laughs and places a kiss on top of Bohyun's head. "Of course not, I'm sorry baby." She turns to Howon and gives him a polite nod. "Well, this was a crazy coincidence. Bohyun talks about how great her dance teacher is all the time. I have to say I agree.”
Howon shakes his head. "I'm sure there's someone else she yabbers on about more."
Bora stiffens, turning towards Sungkyu who hadn't said a word since arriving. "Keep what I said in mind, okay?" It's more of a demand than anything else, but Sungkyu nods, still looking at the floor.
After Bohyun and Bora head off on their way, Howon looks up at Sungkyu from the sidewalk. "What was that about? Did you guys talk it out?"
Sungkyu stares into the distance. "No we just... I don't know. I think I need a moment."
"A moment to?"
"A moment to wait for my balls to unshrivel."
"She didn't say anything at all? Fire Hydrant?"
Sungkyu growls under his breath and grabs the eraser from Dongwoo's knee. "No. I mean, yes, she did. It just wasn't anything useful. No progress made."
Howon furrows his eyebrows. "Cotton ball? Well then talk to her again. Problems aren't solved by you sulking for days and trying to pick up your dignity from the floor. Q-tip?"
"No! No! Can't you see that is obviously a--"
"You can't give verbal clues during the game!"
"She just yelled at me a lot, alright. Which is what happened when she kicked me out the first time." The timer runs out and Sungkyu sits leans back with an exaggerated groan, dusting off his artwork with misplaced pride.
"That's definitely a cotton ball," Dongwoo says. "I will bet Howon's first child on it."
Sungkyu slaps the paper down on the floor. "It's a wolf!"
Howon and Dongwoo both stare at Sungkyu, and then look down at the crude drawing -- almost indistinguishable amongst the pencil marks and eraser remains -- and twist their necks.
"Where's the head?" Dongwoo asks.
"It's there!" Sungkyu declares, taking the pencil and circling a random, vaguely head shaped (looks more like a star to Howon) extremity on the paper.
Dongwoo looks deeply saddened and can’t seem to be able to stay in proximity of the drawing any longer. "I'm going to go get some more snacks," he says, cracking his back as he stands up. Both him and Howon have started adopting Sungkyu's sedentary lifestyle as their own after he moved in with them. Yesterday on his morning run, Howon started wheezing after jogging around two blocks, and he's been hearing Dongwoo complaining about his back whenever he lies down on the couch for too long.
"I used to be so fit..." Howon mourns, watching as Dongwoo makes his way towards the kitchen while rubbing his back.
"How do you not see it? It's completely a wolf," Sungkyu complains, hitting the paper like it would morph the blob that currently decorated it.
"You've improved from the first time," Howon says. "Remember that first night, you had to draw a torpedo and it looked like--"
"I know."
"I still have it in my wallet--"
"I know." Sungkyu narrows his eyes.
Sungkyu shuffles the cards in the deck and it's probably not an appropriate time to bring it up, but whatever. Sungkyu being here isn't really appropriate in itself. "Did she really not say anything?” Howon blurts out, causing Sungkyu to drop the cards and scowl. “Because you came out of there looking like she just told you that you two were siblings."
"Unnecessary," Sungkyu bites back, reshuffling the cards. "Why don't we talk about you for a change Howon. How's your love life?"
"I have to see my ex-boyfriend every time the seven of us get together. Ex-girlfriend is now engaged to one of my best friends. So non-existent." Howon deadpans.
"You know, I still find it astounding than someone who went out with Sungyeol in the past, sees fit to comment on everything I do," Sungkyu argues.
"If anything, it makes me even more qualified to pass judgement. I know a lost cause when I see one."
Sungkyu laughs, full and loudly. "That was a terrible match. You were way too distanced, and he was way too insecure but wouldn't say anything."
Howon almost whines but stops himself. However, Sungkyu catches on and smiles sharply, all teeth. "I was not distanced," Howon protests weakly.
"It's not a bad thing... necessarily," Sungkyu adds sheepishly at Howon's disbelieving look. "You just need someone who's less... self-conscious? Someone who doesn't need constant validation. Someone with tough skin, but who can also tell you what an annoyance you are."
"Maybe you two should just date each other," Dongwoo interrupts, throwing down a mountain of snacks on top of the board game.
Howon is pretty sure this is the first time him and Sungkyu have ever been so united in a cause. The identical grimaces on both of their faces are almost beautiful, in a way.
It's been three weeks since Sungkyu has moved in with them, and as far as Dongwoo is concerned, it feels like he's been their roommate for years!
Howon doesn't agree.
But he'll concede (at gunpoint) that Sungkyu is fun to have around. He's always doing judgeable things, saying judgeable things, and existing, providing perfect fodder for Howon to tease him. It's not really his best material, but it still makes Dongwoo laugh, so his self-esteem benefits nonetheless. Plus, Sungkyu is fairly easy to talk to. Dongwoo is like the second coming of Mother Teresa, so Howon always has to dilute his words around him or else he starts pouting and looking at Howon with this look of intense disapproval. He's allowed to joke about Woohyun having the personality of a slug, but apparently he's not allowed to mean it.
Sungkyu is a pretty horrible person, and Howon's a good person (he is!) but on his own terms, so self-censorship isn't much of an issue for either them. Because of this though, some of their conversations start edging dangerously close to UNCOMFORTABLY INTIMATE, and it gets weird. Thankfully, Sungkyu usually says something stupid that Howon can't let slide, and then they're back to square one again, so it’s never really crossed that line.
Until now.
"Have you talked to Bora yet?" Howon asks, staring at the TV screen neither of them are watching.
Truthfully, Howon doesn't really care anymore, because Sungkyu has pretty much zero problem being a terrible liar about it, but he makes himself ask daily just to remind Sungkyu that he can't stay nested here forever. Just because the couch was beginning to smell like him, it didn't mean he had any any valid claim on it.
Usually Sungkyu replies with some variation of "I'm getting around to it." "Yeah, just called her office today and couldn't get through." "She wouldn't answer the doorbell." Sometimes he gets tired of bullshitting and just goes straight up "Shut up, Howon." This time, Sungkyu tenses. He opens and closes his mouth, trying to get words out, before sighing resignedly and slumping back into the couch.
"Yes."
Howon is about to throw a pillow at him as protocol, until he actually processes what Sungkyu is saying. "What?"
"Yes," Sungkyu repeats. "I talked to her. It didn't go well. I'm unhappy."
Howon shakes his head. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
Sungkyu makes a sound of frustration. "I'm not." He slides his fingers through his hair and screams. "It's just, I thought it would be easier than this. Things haven't been peachy or anything, but it's not like we were singing love songs to each other at any point of our relationship. I mean, I know I'm plenty of things, but I have never been oblivious."
Howon squints at him. "I have literally no idea what you're saying." He really doesn't. It's not that he's even trying to be mean, he wants to know what Sungkyu is saying (especially if the information gained can help Sungkyu move out of the apartment once and for all), but he's pretty lost. Brain is functioning at 1/4 normal efficiency after being exposed to dangerous levels of genuine human emotion by Sungkyu.
"I just mean, I take good care of you guys, right? I'm usually attentive. I notice when things are wrong? Like I'm always the first one to notice when Sungyeol's had too much to drink and all that."
"Yeah, but only after he's already thrown up on you. Otherwise, sure. What's your point?"
"It's just that I always thought I was zoned in on things. I had no idea what was actually happening between me and Bora, and that she thinks I'm a jerk."
Howon coughs. "Well, you are a jerk." At Sungkyu's glare he amends, "But, to be fair, Bora did know what she was getting into. You've always been dense when it came to her."
Sungkyu actually has the audacity to look genuinely surprised. "What? No I haven't."
"Yes, you definitely have,” Howon says slowly. “When you guys were friends you guys spent half the time fighting. Just because you're attentive towards some people, doesn't mean you're attentive towards others."
"That day at Woollim," Sungkyu begins, "we were talking, and I asked if I could just move back in again, and she looked like she was going to say something but then... I made her cry, Howon. I didn't even say anything, but the thought of us getting back together made her cry."
Howon wants to say something scathing and sarcastic, but Sungkyu looks unusually vulnerable, and Howon understands. For all of his shortcomings, and for however much Sungkyu and Bora would fight, he did love her in some capacity. Sungkyu has never been the kind of person who enjoys hurting other people, that's why Howon was able to take his initially prickly and perpetually grumpy personality in stride. If Howon had to take a guess, he'd say the reason Sungkyu and Bora lasted for so long was because Bora knew who Sungkyu was, and knew that ultimately he cared. There's a point though, that caring stops being enough, and you need full bodied love and support -- Howon knows this well, Eunji told him those exact words when they finally split up.
"I think you should talk to her," Howon says. "Properly. Ask her what you did wrong, try and fix it. I don't need to tell you that sometimes one party is more at fault than the other in a break up."
Sungkyu breathes out through his nose and slumps back into the couch. "Where do I even start?"
"Sorry is a good place," Howon says. A silence lapses over the two of them and Howon shifts uncomfortably before looking back towards the television where a girl was getting yelled at by her boyfriend's rich mother.
"Howon?" Sungkyu says.
Howon doesn't look away from the screen. "Yeah?"
"Sorry."
Howon blinks and steals a glance at Sungkyu who's smiling at him. Howon's helpless but to smile back. He grabs a pillow and chucks it at Sungkyu's face.
"Jerk."
Howon doesn't even see it coming. He's noticed that Sungkyu's been out more often, but he didn't question the sudden blessing life had decided to bestow upon him. They still play pictionary every night, Sungkyu still hogs the couch, everything is going relatively normally until one day Sungkyu happens to come home while Howon was feeling inquisitive instead of apathetic.
"Where have you been disappearing to the last two weeks?" he asks, scrounging through the cupboards for a clean bowl.
Sungkyu shrugs off his coat, throwing it on the couch and flopping down after it. "I've been with Bora," he cracks his neck, "geez, she's really making up for the last four years."
This it it. The turning point of Howon's life. His lowest moment. It feels like the kitchen floor just opened up underneath him, that a storm just started raging in his stomach. Howon is a self-aware guy, okay? He isn't oblivious, and he doesn't waste time with denial. Sungkyu basically told him he'd been having hot make up sex with Bora for the last week or so, and how had Howon's emotions responded?
With jealousy.
Howon was jealous.
After spending a month in his company, walking to work with together, playing pictionary every night, Howon is now experiencing Sungkyu stockholm syndrome. He doesn't want Bora and Sungkyu back together again. He doesn't want to have to go to Birthday dinners and watch them bicker, then make out, and then bicker again. He doesn't want to go to another one of their anniversary parties, and wish them all the best. He doesn't want Sungkyu to roll around in the sheets with Bora. He doesn't want the rare sincere emotion Sungkyu shows to be showered on Bora and not him.
Howon wants Sungkyu all to himself, and the thought is making him kind of sick.
Sungkyu seems to have noticed something was wrong in Howon's extended silence, and he pokes his head over the edge of the couch. "Hey, Howon. Are you okay?"
Howon staggers before eventually falling onto one of the kitchen stools. "I think I'm going to be vomit."
Sungkyu looks alarmed and scrambles of the couch. He makes his way towards where Howon was leaning with his elbows on the kitchen counter, face clutched between suddenly clammy hands, and rubs between Howon's shoulder blades slowly.
"Get some sleep," Sungkyu says softly, "even dancing machines need their gears oiled once in a while." He chuckles at his own joke, sounding smarmy and self-satisfied, and Howon loves it.
"That jokes terrible," Howon mumbles, "you're terrible."
"Then we're the terrible two," Sungkyu declares. Man, wouldn't Howon love that?
So it looks like Sungkyu and Bora are "on" again. Sungkyu hasn't moved back into his old apartment yet, but he's been spending less time with Howon and Dongwoo, and more time running around with Bora instead. Howon's also had the unfortunate luck of running into them hugging outside the apartment once on a particularly cold evening. Mood already dampened from having to deal with a parent who threatened to sue Howon for his child breaking an ankle from attempting to artlessly recreate one of Howon's dance moves at home, he'd maybe acted more curtly and obviously towards the two love birds than he'd meant to. Howon is always being randomly rude to Sungkyu for no particular reason, so he doesn't think the latter particularly cares. But he feels terrible about Bora and makes her some take-away coffee the next time she's there to pick Sungkyu up.
Unfortunately, Bora also took the act of apology as a sign to extend an invitation towards Howon, Sungkyu, Dongwoo, and the rest of their gang to have dinner together with her friends. Just like old times. Old times Howon used to spend with Soyu, betting on how long it'd take before either Sungkyu or Bora stormed up from the table angrily.
Dongwoo, ever so perceptive when Howon doesn't need him to be, takes note of Howon's embarrassing predicament on the first day it makes itself known. When Howon retired to bed and Sungkyu regaled the story of how it was because he seemingly caught a stomach bug out of nowhere, Dongwoo had stood there against the doorframe, giddy and excited, while Howon was wallowing in self-pity under the blankets.
"This is amazing. It started as a joke, but now it's something real and tangible that could actually change the world."
Of course Dongwoo had changed his tune quickly after he had found out Bora and Sungkyu were working out the kinks in their relationship, and apologised profusely to Howon. Not until after he had excitedly told Woohyun and Sungjong though which just-- great. Fantastic. Great.
Howon has forgiven Dongwoo for his transgression, knowing that he probably wanted some kind of chick flick outcome with everyone conspiring to get Howon and Sungkyu together. However, he has not forgotten, which is why he's spent the last fifteen minutes of this dinner kicking him under the table.
The dinner is actually calm for once and it's awful. Bora and Sungkyu are laughing like they're on the honeymoon period that they never had, and even Hyorin -- who had always been Sungkyu's #1 anti-fan while Bora was dating him -- is waxing poetic about how nice it is to see them together.
Howon takes a long swig of his beer.
"...Howon hasn't grown out of his frat boy stage from college," Sungkyu tacks on to whatever he was saying before. He smiles at Howon who doesn't smile back.
Sungkyu’s mouth falters, and Howon would feel bad but Woohyun is sitting right opposite him and giving him a look of such pity that Howon would rather feel bad for himself.
"Anyway, so what were you saying about the guy at your work?" Sungjong asks, breaking the tense silence that was threatening to come to fruition. He pats Howon's knee consolingly under the table.
"Right. Basically, he bought his kid to work, let him play minecraft on my computer, and now all the financial reports of the last year are gone from my hard drive."
Dongwoo flinches. "Tough luck, you have some late nights ahead of you."
Bora nods solemnly but shrugs. "He's just a kid, they do dumb things. Kanghyung couldn't have known. Plus, I can get it done in half the time compared to before. Now that I don't have this pest hovering around me all the time." She moves to elbow Sungkyu in the stomach, who catches her arm pretends to twist it playfully. Howon's glass is empty. Why is Howon's glass empty?
"Wait!" Hyorin pipes up. "Didn't Soojung bring her kid to work last year and get put on probation when he accidentally ended up breaking the photocopier? That's so unfair!"
Sungkyu clears his throat. He lifts his glass up in the air and hits his plastic fork against it. "That," he starts, "is male privilege. Not having a child act out becoming a reflection on your capability to multitask as a parent and as a professional."
The table breaks out into a round of applause, and even Howon has to admit he's pretty proud of Sungkyu's new leaf. Don't get him wrong, Sungkyu may be the love of his life (urgh) but he's still obnoxious as fuck as a roommate. But at least now he's nicer towards women.
"I can't believe my eyes," Dongwoo says. "Bora, you've done the impossible. He's a new man."
Bora gazes at Sungkyu fondly. "Nah, just a bettered one."
Howon gets up from the table abruptly and almost knocks over the jug of water. So much for his plan to silently sneak away. He looks at the eight pair of cautious eyes aimed towards him and coughs. "I uh, need the use the bathroom. To freshen up."
He doesn't wait for permission as he strides towards the men's room. Once inside, he heads towards the sink, turns on the faucet, and splashes his face -- and the entire front of his shirt -- with freezing cold water.
"Get a hold of yourself Howon," he chants. "Get a hold of yourself. You're not this person."
The bathroom door opens behind him and Howon exhales loudly. "I'm fine Sungjong. Tell them I'm not feeling well. The faux stomach flu makes its grand return."
"I never bought that excuse, but I was so deadbeat and I couldn't be bothered to take you to a hospital to see if anything was actually wrong."
Howon groans. Just his luck. Sungkyu is standing behind him, while Howon is literally the human embodiment of a wet dog.
Sungkyu steps forward, and Howon takes an instinctive step back, but his back hits the edge of the sink. Sungkyu notices and frowns.
"What's the matter?" he says. "Why have you been acting so off this entire week?"
"I... I haven't. I've just been feeling ill." Howon reaches behind him for the soap dispenser and grips it tightly. He's not beyond knocking Sungkyu out if it means one less awkward situation he'd have to live through.
"Really?" Sungkyu asks scathingly. "Because from the way you've been avoiding me like I'm the plague, it seems like you're mostly just angry at me."
"I haven't!" Howon insists, and it sounds weak even to his own ears. "Seriously. I just, knew you were trying to patch things up with Bora, and I knew how much emotional distress the break up was causing you. So I wanted to avoid your moodiness and sulking." There. That sounds like something a normal, level-headed, non love-sick Howon would say.
Sungkyu snorts. "Come on, you sound like a ghost of yourself." He takes another step forward and Howon inadvertently flinches, holding on to the soap dispenser tighter. Sungkyu stops in his tracks, and the confident demeanour that he'd carried to the bathroom slips off, his shoulder slump, and frankly, Sungkyu looks almost as weary as Howon now that he's looking closely.
"Look, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable or whatever Howon. If I made you of all people feel terrible, then I know I've fucked up." Sungkyu runs a hand through his hair. "Guess Bora's intensive workshops were for naught."
Sungkyu looks completely defeated, and Howon feels like shit. "No! Look, they haven't been. Bora is a resolute person, she wouldn't have agreed to get back together with you if you hadn't become a better person. I was just avoiding you because... I don't know, I'm trying to get used to eventually not having you around the house."
Sungkyu looks at Howon, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about? Me and Bora are not getting back together."
"I-- what?"
Sungkyu shakes his head. "Bora and I aren't trying to get back together. We talked it out, we benefited each other a lot more as friends. That initial, I don't know, spark we had with our friendship disappeared after we started dating. We're trying to work towards how we were before, back when she could yell at me for saying something stupid and it wouldn't end up with one of us sleeping on the couch."
"You. You were always the one sleeping on the couch." Howon says absently. Still trying to process this new piece of information. But not trying to process it completely because he knows that way lies immense amounts of retroactive embarrassment for his behaviour in the last week or so.
"Yeah..." Sungkyu looks at Howon, like he's searching for something. "So?"
"So? So." Howon straightens up, no longer leaning against the sink. "So, we've been here a while. Let's go back to the table."
He moves to make his way past Sungkyu, but is jerked back by his elbow at the last second.
"Hey!"
"They left," Sungkyu says.
"What?" Howon exclaims. "They left because we were taking too long in the bathroom. God why are our friends all such douchebags."
"No, they were meant to leave before the two of us. We were meant to be the last ones left while the rest ran off."
"...Why?"
Sungkyu's face turns beet red, and he swipes a hand across his fringe like he always does when he's said/done/thought something incredibly stupid. "Because, I don't know. Bora watches too many movies, and apparently being left in a distressing situation brings two people closer."
Howon swallows. "Is you living with me for the last month or so not a distressing enough situation?" He should probably roll his eyes somewhere here, but Sungkyu is looking at him the way he used to look at Bora right before they teetered off the edge of dysfunctional friendship to unhealthy lovers.
Sungkyu thins his lips into a mean smile, slow and sensual. "Howon."
That's all it takes. Howon pulls Sungkyu closer by the collar of his shirt and then they're making out against the bathroom door. It's awful. Terrible. Sungkyu pulls Howon closer by the waist. It's like one of those fanfics Woohyun used to write about the two of them to try and make them feel uncomfortable. Lee. Howon. Is. Making. Out. With. Kim. Sungkyu. R&R. NC-17. Summary sucks, but the story feels like Howon's heart finally fits right in his chest.
Howon wants to say they pull apart to catch their breaths. But if Sungkyu is anything like him -- which he is, because they're a match made in a petty, sarcastic heaven -- then it was really because the full implication of what they were doing started to settle in and it was getting weird.
Sungkyu speaks first. "So."
Howon clears his throat. "So."
Sungkyu holds Howon's hand between his own, and it's only 30% strange. "I've been wanting to do that from a week after I moved in."
Howon's head snaps up. "What? Really?"
Sungkyu nods. "Yeah. Wait, how about you?"
Howon thinks back. The way these things work, it was probably simmering under the surface or building up for a while, but Howon can honestly say he didn't feel like he felt anything romantic towards Sungkyu until recently. "Um, a week and a half ago?"
Sungkyu steps back completely. "What? Bullshit."
"Uh, I think I know how I felt. Can we leave now? We need to talk about this but I don't want to do it in this tiny bathroom." Howon says.
"What about that time we were playing pictionary and I put your pencil in my mouth and you stared at me for like, five minutes until Dongwoo came."
Howon grimaces. "That was disgusting. I got that pencil from Vietnam, and you just-- urgh. Can we not bring it up? I feel annoyed thinking about it."
"How about--"
Howon really wants to leave this Godforsaken bathroom. "Does it really matter? I'm in love with you. So much so I actually do think at one point I gave myself a legitimate stomach bug thinking about it."
He expects Sungkyu to make a quip back, but instead he grabs Howon's face and plants a kiss on him. "Shut up," he murmurs against Howon's lips. Howon leans forward into Sungkyu, momentarily distracted by the feeling of Sungkyu's tongue against his own.
"You still have to move out. You're a terrible roommate."
Sungkyu moves back and throws an arm around Howon's shoulders, leading them out of the bathroom finally.
"We can talk about that later," Sungkyu says, fiddling with Howon's fingers, "when we get home."
"We can talk about it, but it's gonna be the same answer. I want you to move out."
"Yeah, we'll see."
"No, I mean it. I'm sick of you invading me and Dongwoo's bro-space."
"Aren't we sort of dating now? Each other's significant others? "In a relationship" on Facebook?"
"Even more reason why I don't want you in the bro-space."
"Alright, can I have a month to--"
"A week."
"Three weeks!"
"Two weeks. And uh... try and choose somewhere close to our apartment. Just for convenience’s’ sake."
hoya/sungkyu
pg-13, au, 7881 words
In between Pictionary, dramatic pre-teens, and a healthy amount of snark, Howon makes an unwelcomed realisation. But first he has to thank Bora for the trash she left at his door.
originally posted here for eightninetwo as part of infinitesanta!
So Howon's morning was not off to a great start. His phone had ran out of battery during the night, making him miss his alarm; his favourite lavender body wash ran out; he accidentally knocked his toothbrush off it’s holder and into the sink; and he ended up tripping and ripping his laptop charger as he shuffled out of the bathroom, distinctly not smelling of lavender, and with a bad taste on the back of his tongue.
As such, he can’t really be faulted when the first thing out of his mouth when he sees Sungkyu on his and Dongwoo’s living room couch is: “Get the fuck out.”
Sungkyu turns around, blinks at him a few times, before returning to the Saturday cartoons playing on TV.
Dongwoo shuffles sleepily out of his room a few seconds later, eyes droopy and voice husky as he mumbles him and Sungkyu a “good morning” without a second glance. Howon assesses the scene warily, but when Dongwoo flat out offers Sungkyu a bowl of cereal, he snaps and makes his way to where Dongwoo was padding aimlessly in the kitchen.
"Hyung, can I talk to you for a moment?” Howon asks through clenched teeth. Dongwoo tilts his head and pouts. Howon is very much aware that it’s not the best idea to broach this topic when Dongwoo’s awareness is only at about 65%, but it’s an urgent matter.
“About what?” Dongwoo asks, confused. He picks up a banana from the fruitbowl and throws it at Sungkyu, who misses and ends up whacking himself in the face. Howon contemplates the circumstances as best as he can, decides that he doesn’t waste enough Saturdays, and shuffles back into his room to go to sleep.
Through some intense prayer, defiance of the laws of nature, or whatever you believe in, Sungkyu has a girlfriend. A really hot one at that. Bora was in Sungkyu's Lyricism class during his final year of college and would always frequent the same bar as him afterwards. They were friends first... He thinks? Or at least he's pretty sure. Anyway, one day Sungkyu was complaining to Woohyun about how unsubtle her dress was. She was loudly proclaiming to Hyorin what a fucking douche the red haired kid in her Lyricism class was. Then in the next minute they were making out against the pool table while Howon looked away and Woohyun pretended he wasn't surreptitiously watching from over his drink. Howon doesn't pretend to understand it. He doesn't want to understand it.
Really, considering the first time he met Bora, he'd accidentally asked her if she was dating Sungkyu, and she had laughed and said "He's definitely not the kind of guy I would ever think of dating", he shouldn't be surprised at the turn of events. Four years going "strong" (objectively, he guesses) and moving in together, doesn't change the fact Germaine Greer was basically dating John Lennon. And now here Howon was. Angry, annoyed, and forced to share his seaweed with the douchiest member of The Beatles.
"Can't you just go talk to her? I mean, she can't just kick you out of your own apartment. This whole thing seems kind of unnecessary," Dongwoo says in between slurps of his ramen. "I mean, obviously I don't mind you staying here. it just seems, I don't know, a bit extreme."
"Well..." starts Sungkyu, reaching for another piece of seaweed, "Technically it's her apartment. She owns it, I'm just paying rent."
"Didn't you say something about how a man letting a woman that's not his mother provide for him is a sign of weakness?" Howon says, raising an eyebrow.
Sungkyu has that look of complete disbelief on his face that he usually has when he knows he's about to say something full of shit. "What, no I didn't? That's ridiculous."
Dongwoo freezes, chopstick halfway between the bowl and his mouth. "Yes you did? Remember? At your 23rd Birthday party, when your mum was joking about you moving back in with her? Then you and Bora had that huge fight and the whole drama with the fire hydrant?"
"God, that was so embarrassing," Howon mumbles, stealing some ramen from Dongwoo's bowl.
"Okay, well obviously I don't believe that anymore."
"Sure."
"I wrote a written apology and everything! Bora has them in a folder on her laptop."
Dongwoo splutters. "Bora has a folder full of written apologies by you?"
Howon pinches his nose between his fingers. "Why in the world would my girlfriend kick me out of our apartment?" he says in a great imitation of Sungkyu. If he does say so himself.
"This was literally two years ago, why do you guys even remember these things? Look, I'm sure things will settle down in a little while, alright? Just let me stay here for a few days until I manage to talk things out."
"Of course!" Dongwoo exclaims, patting his chest roughly. "Our home is always open to you, hyung!"
Howon stabs Dongwoo's thighs with his chopsticks. "Yeah, because we haven't fixed the lock on our door yet. Someone's actually going to break in one day, you know?" He pushes himself up from the floor, officially done with this conversation. Officially done with Sungkyu. Officially done with Dongwoo. "Our couch is open to you, when we're both asleep. The bathroom is open to you, when I don't need it. I'm going to bed, have fun."
Sungkyu blows him a kiss. "Stop being so cute all the time Howon, or else I'll never be able to leave."
"I will murder you in your sleep."
Sungkyu takes the last seaweed from the packet. "You're going to have to clean up the blood."
Damnit. Sungkyu knows him too well.
Howon has a really pleasant dream -- the kind of dream that stays with you after you wake up -- and he knows it's going to be a good day. He's pretty efficient in the morning (minus the The Worst Morning Ever -- yesterday), something that inevitably manages to annoy anyone he’s ever had to sleep in a close vicinity of. So while Dongwoo stands in the bathroom for half an hour, staring at his sleepy reflection in the mirror with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, Howon runs on a motor.
He powers through the motions, and as always, has time to spare. He makes himself a bowl of cereal and plops himself down on the lumpy couch. The couch yelps. Howon panics and smashes the cereal bowl against it..
Mornings will never be good for Howon again.
Once Howon and Sungkyu are sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, and Dongwoo is convinced he's managed to somewhat pacify the situation, Dongwoo speaks. "Okay, I thought our natural synergy would be enough for this to work. But obviously we're going to have to establish some house rules."
Dongwoo brings out a sheet of paper from his pocket, but Sungkyu raises his hand to stop him before he can even begin. "Look, I know I'm being an obvious inconvenience, but I don't enjoy being one. I'm not going to promise that I’m going to be easy to live with, but I'll try and keep to myself. All I ask for is Howon not try to give me a concussion."
Dongwoo nods. "That's a fair term. Howon?" he looks at Howon expectantly.
"Can I talk to my lawyer?" Dongwoo stamps his foot on the ground and Howon sighs. "Fine. I'm sorry. It'll just take a few days to... re-orientate myself."
"Good. That's good. This is such a mature discussion! I knew this would work, everyone else was wrong." Dongwoo looks positively gleeful.
Howon beckons towards Dongwoo. "Okay hyung. You can show us your house rules."
"Oh um," Dongwoo smooths out the paper in front of him. "It’s nothing… I can’t even read my handwriting anymore. Something about a communal pictionary game in the living room.”
Sungkyu and Howon's places of work are located right next to each other, one janitor’s closet from each other if you wanted to be specific, and it isn't a coincidence. Fresh out of college, they bonded over the fact they were the only two of their friends to not think pragmatically, and ended up graduating with arts degrees. They then immediately unbonded after they both ended up applying for the exact same spot in a Music Academy. The owner had taken pity on them and ended up making jobs for both of them, and so Howon became the dance instructor at Woollim Academy, while Sungkyu got the originally advertised janitorial position, but eventually got promoted to becoming a singing instructor.
It's a bit strange taking the bus together to work. Usually Howon would just walk the thirty minutes there, as exercise. But due to the incident in the morning he was running late, and from Sungkyu's "Ha! Hahaha. Haha... wait you're kidding right?" when told about Howon's usual routine, he supposes he won't be walking for a while.
The bus isn't heated and it's considerably cold during this time of the year. Howon always brings extra jackets with him despite the fact his abnormally high body temperature means he rarely feels the chill. From beside him however, Sungkyu only has a flimsy cardigan on over his shirt, and is shivering profusely.
Howon sighs and peels off his top layer, a camel jacket given to him by Sungjong for his 21st Birthday, and offers it out to Sungkyu.
Sungkyu shakes his head. "No," he struggles to speak through chattering teeth, "I'm perfectly fine."
Howon snorts. Whatever. He places the jacket carefully in the space between them. Five minutes later Sungkyu pries it out and drapes it over himself.
"Shut up," Sungkyu growls. Howon holds back his smirk.
There's this one girl called Bohyun, nine years old, in Howon's dance class who he's pretty certain has a crush on Sungkyu. Before, she would always be lingering around the classroom where Sungkyu was teaching a bunch of eight year olds how to sing, looking like she was having a revelation. Now, after Sungkyu and Howon had started arriving to work together, and she began to catch on to the fact that they knew each other, she's been staying back during class while Sungkyu waited for Howon to pack up, asking for some "constructive criticism" on her dancing.
If Sungkyu noticed before Howon did, he didn't say anything. Maybe because he knew Howon would bring it up over dinner one day (which he did), and wanted to delay the inevitable teasing as long as possible. Truth be told, Howon thinks it's pretty cute. She's always doing random jigs which Howon is 98% sure he never taught the class, and beaming directly as Sungkyu while asking Howon to evaluate her performance. Okay, it’s not pretty cute, it’s downright adorable. Sungkyu doesn't disagree, no matter how much Dongwoo ribs him about his rebound from Bora being a nine year old in braces. "She's sweet," he says, "I don't know why, but she stirs up fondness in me. Reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it."
Today Bohyun presents Howon with a cartwheel that she probably learnt in her gym class, along with some strange interpretive dance that Howon doesn't think he has the intelligence to understand. She finishes off with a curtsy and smiles right at Sungkyu while Howon claps for her.
"How did I do?" she asks.
Sungkyu gives her a thumbs up. "You did great! Did you make the choreography up yourself?"
Bohyun nods. "Yeah. I actually got inspiration from one of seonsaengnim’s choreographies."
Howon raises an eyebrow. Some of the movements had looked familiar, but honestly Howon's made up so many dances in the last year or so, he's ashamed to admit he has difficulty recalling some of them.
"Oh! Was it Howon's dance to 'Lights Off'? I really enjoyed that one. But if you're going to perform that masterpiece in the future make sure to credit him. I wouldn't put it past this kid to try and pull a lawsuit on one of his students. He's so desperate, it's disgusting."
The warmth of surprise Howon felt at Sungkyu being able to recall his choreography so quickly, especially considering the resistance he puts up whenever Dongwoo and Sungjong drag him to one of Howon's rehearsals, dissipates. Howon sneers and throws an empty water bottle at Sungkyu, and Bohyun laughs.
Howon has his bag over his shoulder and is about to push Sungkyu out the door so they don't miss their bus when he notices Bohyun taking a seat on the practice room floor.
"Bohyun? What's wrong? Don't you have a ride home?" he asks.
Bohyun looks up in surprise, blinking at Howon with bright eyes. "Oh no! I do. But my mum couldn't come today, so my aunt is picking me up instead. She always runs a little late."
Sungkyu raises an eyebrow at Howon who shrugs back. "Do you want us to stay back with you Bohyun?" Sungkyu asks.
Bohyun's jaw drops, and a red blush broils itself on the apples of her cheek. She slaps her hands over her face. "This is exactly like my dream..." she whispers to herself a little too loudly. Sungkyu blushes and Howon guffaws. After a few seconds Bohyun seems to have regained her cognitive abilities and looks towards Sungkyu and Howon with a face of faux disinterest. "Yeah, sure. If oppas aren't busy, you can help me with my maths homework.."
Thirty minutes later Bohyun's enchantment with Sungkyu has significantly faded, as tends to happen. Howon has to pry her fingers away from her hair when it looks like she's about to tug at it for the hundredth time in ten minutes.
"What are you doing? How can one hundred and twenty three be a multiple of two! It's not even an even number!"
Sungkyu growls and grabs the eraser from Bohyun's pencilcase, rubbing out his work furiously. "I'm sorry! I was never good at Maths!"
Bohyun humphs. "You told me you were first in your class."
"I was!" Sungkyu defends. "But I was always a humanities student. Look, I'm a music teacher. It's pretty much obligatory that at least more than half of us suck at Maths, to make everyone else feel better."
"I feel like you've said the same thing to me everytime you forgot to pay the bills," a familiar voice drawls from behind them.
"Unnie!" Bohyun calls.
Sungkyu looks up and falls backwards. "Fuck! I mean, shit. I mean, Bohyun block your ears."
Bora glares at Sungkyu and Bohyun puts her hands over her ears and hums. "I heard nothing. I saw nothing."
"She learns her coping mechanism from you," Sungkyu mutters. Bora smirks at him, and they end up in a tense staring contest of sorts. Howon fidgets from where he's sitting beside Sungkyu, feeling like a bigger third wheel than when he's out with Myungsoo and Sungyeol.
Bohyun, who finally seems to have caught up with the current events, looks between her aunt and Sungkyu. "You two know each other?" she asks.
Bora breaks her awkward eye contact with Sungkyu. "He was my uh... roommate."
Bohyun's eyes widen like saucers. She beckons Bora forward with her hand, and attempts to whisper in her ear. "Are you still going to be okay coming to our wedding?"
Bora immediately straightens up. "Sungkyu is the music teacher you said you were engaged to?" she asks, sounding comically betrayed.
"Oh my God! He's right here, why would you say that!" Bohyun shrieks. She looks at Sungkyu, eyes watery, and makes a small sound before turning back to Bora. "ARGH!" she yells, bolting out of the practice room.
"Bohyun I'm sorry! It's just you said he looked like Harry Styles, and I was taken by surprise!"
"Thanks..."
Bora seems to finally register that she did just kick Sungkyu out of their apartment two weeks ago, and they possibly have a few things to hash out. She looks like she's about to reach a hand out to help him off the floor but thinks better of it, and extends it to Howon instead. "Hey Howon," she smiles, pulling him up, "I'm sorry about the trash I left on your doorstep."
Howon's always liked Bora. Great gal. "No worries. But um," he looks between Sungkyu and her, "maybe you two might have some things to talk about..."
Bora thins her lips, and Sungkyu looks like he's about to follow in Bohyun’s steps and run crying out the door.
"I don't think there's anything to discuss."
Howon coughs. "I um, respectfully disagree. Sungkyu, I'll be waiting outside."
He makes a beeline out the door and doesn't look back, not wanting to witness Bora and Sungkyu's World War XC. When he leaves the building he finds Bohyun sitting outside on the pavement, sniffling and rubbing her face. Howon sighs and takes a seat next to her.
"Hey Bohyun..."
Bohyun whimpers and moves to hide her face in her arms. "Hi," she murmurs.
"You know, it's not as embarrassing as you think it was. Sungkyu doesn't mind."
Bohyun stays silent for a beat, and then looks up at Howon, a twisted smirk on her face that no nine year old should know how to do. "I know, it's not that. I just... I feel betrayed."
Howon blinks. "Betrayed? Bora didn't mean to say it out loud."
Bohyun shakes her head. "No, she did. I'm not stupid. Unnie tells me she lives with a roommate who's a guy, but I know for a fact they're actually in a De Facto relationship. And that she's frustrated because he seems scared of commitment, but at the same time she's not sure she's ready for commitment either, especially when she doesn't know who she really is without a pretentious cad on her arm who doesn’t even respect her."
Howon isn't dumbstruck often. Never would he have thought he'd be rendered speechless by a nine year old with a crush on Sungkyu of all people. "Uh..."
Bohyun shrugs. "I listen in to her and my mum's phone conversations sometimes."
"Oh, well that's--"
"But I didn't know!" Bohyun yells, throwing her arms up in the air. "I swear I had no idea! I didn't know anything about Unnie’s boyfriend, I swear! I only found out it was Sungkyu oppa today. And I don't get it. She kicked him out right? That means she doesn't like him anymore. So why did she have to humiliate and sabotage me like that. For God's sakes, I'm nine! I love Bora unnie, but is she really that insecure?"
Howon massages his temples with two fingers. He is so not prepared to have this conversation right now. "Bohyun, I think maybe you're overthinking it a little bit? I'm sure Bora didn't mean to sabotage your chances with Sungkyu because she wanted him back. Maybe she really was shocked? After all, they were together for a really long time. She was probably just surprised."
Bohyun pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. Howon pats her back consolingly. "I know right now, Sungkyu seems really cool, and nice, and like the perfect guy. But I mean, you love your Aunt Bora, right?"
Bohyun nods.
"Then, don't you think there's a reason she broke up with Sungkyu? You trust her judgement, right?"
"I do. Bora unnie has incredible taste." Bohyun sniffs and swipes an arm over her eyes. "Does that mean Sungkyu is going to be forever alone?"
Howon snorts. "I'm sure there's someone who's terrible enough to be perfect for Sungkyu somewhere."
As if summoned, Bora and Sungkyu finally emerge from the building, the former looking exhausted and the latter looking close to traumatised. Bohyun perks up and runs to link her arms with Bora's.
"I forgive you," Bohyun says. "Just don't do anything like that again okay."
Bora laughs and places a kiss on top of Bohyun's head. "Of course not, I'm sorry baby." She turns to Howon and gives him a polite nod. "Well, this was a crazy coincidence. Bohyun talks about how great her dance teacher is all the time. I have to say I agree.”
Howon shakes his head. "I'm sure there's someone else she yabbers on about more."
Bora stiffens, turning towards Sungkyu who hadn't said a word since arriving. "Keep what I said in mind, okay?" It's more of a demand than anything else, but Sungkyu nods, still looking at the floor.
After Bohyun and Bora head off on their way, Howon looks up at Sungkyu from the sidewalk. "What was that about? Did you guys talk it out?"
Sungkyu stares into the distance. "No we just... I don't know. I think I need a moment."
"A moment to?"
"A moment to wait for my balls to unshrivel."
"She didn't say anything at all? Fire Hydrant?"
Sungkyu growls under his breath and grabs the eraser from Dongwoo's knee. "No. I mean, yes, she did. It just wasn't anything useful. No progress made."
Howon furrows his eyebrows. "Cotton ball? Well then talk to her again. Problems aren't solved by you sulking for days and trying to pick up your dignity from the floor. Q-tip?"
"No! No! Can't you see that is obviously a--"
"You can't give verbal clues during the game!"
"She just yelled at me a lot, alright. Which is what happened when she kicked me out the first time." The timer runs out and Sungkyu sits leans back with an exaggerated groan, dusting off his artwork with misplaced pride.
"That's definitely a cotton ball," Dongwoo says. "I will bet Howon's first child on it."
Sungkyu slaps the paper down on the floor. "It's a wolf!"
Howon and Dongwoo both stare at Sungkyu, and then look down at the crude drawing -- almost indistinguishable amongst the pencil marks and eraser remains -- and twist their necks.
"Where's the head?" Dongwoo asks.
"It's there!" Sungkyu declares, taking the pencil and circling a random, vaguely head shaped (looks more like a star to Howon) extremity on the paper.
Dongwoo looks deeply saddened and can’t seem to be able to stay in proximity of the drawing any longer. "I'm going to go get some more snacks," he says, cracking his back as he stands up. Both him and Howon have started adopting Sungkyu's sedentary lifestyle as their own after he moved in with them. Yesterday on his morning run, Howon started wheezing after jogging around two blocks, and he's been hearing Dongwoo complaining about his back whenever he lies down on the couch for too long.
"I used to be so fit..." Howon mourns, watching as Dongwoo makes his way towards the kitchen while rubbing his back.
"How do you not see it? It's completely a wolf," Sungkyu complains, hitting the paper like it would morph the blob that currently decorated it.
"You've improved from the first time," Howon says. "Remember that first night, you had to draw a torpedo and it looked like--"
"I know."
"I still have it in my wallet--"
"I know." Sungkyu narrows his eyes.
Sungkyu shuffles the cards in the deck and it's probably not an appropriate time to bring it up, but whatever. Sungkyu being here isn't really appropriate in itself. "Did she really not say anything?” Howon blurts out, causing Sungkyu to drop the cards and scowl. “Because you came out of there looking like she just told you that you two were siblings."
"Unnecessary," Sungkyu bites back, reshuffling the cards. "Why don't we talk about you for a change Howon. How's your love life?"
"I have to see my ex-boyfriend every time the seven of us get together. Ex-girlfriend is now engaged to one of my best friends. So non-existent." Howon deadpans.
"You know, I still find it astounding than someone who went out with Sungyeol in the past, sees fit to comment on everything I do," Sungkyu argues.
"If anything, it makes me even more qualified to pass judgement. I know a lost cause when I see one."
Sungkyu laughs, full and loudly. "That was a terrible match. You were way too distanced, and he was way too insecure but wouldn't say anything."
Howon almost whines but stops himself. However, Sungkyu catches on and smiles sharply, all teeth. "I was not distanced," Howon protests weakly.
"It's not a bad thing... necessarily," Sungkyu adds sheepishly at Howon's disbelieving look. "You just need someone who's less... self-conscious? Someone who doesn't need constant validation. Someone with tough skin, but who can also tell you what an annoyance you are."
"Maybe you two should just date each other," Dongwoo interrupts, throwing down a mountain of snacks on top of the board game.
Howon is pretty sure this is the first time him and Sungkyu have ever been so united in a cause. The identical grimaces on both of their faces are almost beautiful, in a way.
It's been three weeks since Sungkyu has moved in with them, and as far as Dongwoo is concerned, it feels like he's been their roommate for years!
Howon doesn't agree.
But he'll concede (at gunpoint) that Sungkyu is fun to have around. He's always doing judgeable things, saying judgeable things, and existing, providing perfect fodder for Howon to tease him. It's not really his best material, but it still makes Dongwoo laugh, so his self-esteem benefits nonetheless. Plus, Sungkyu is fairly easy to talk to. Dongwoo is like the second coming of Mother Teresa, so Howon always has to dilute his words around him or else he starts pouting and looking at Howon with this look of intense disapproval. He's allowed to joke about Woohyun having the personality of a slug, but apparently he's not allowed to mean it.
Sungkyu is a pretty horrible person, and Howon's a good person (he is!) but on his own terms, so self-censorship isn't much of an issue for either them. Because of this though, some of their conversations start edging dangerously close to UNCOMFORTABLY INTIMATE, and it gets weird. Thankfully, Sungkyu usually says something stupid that Howon can't let slide, and then they're back to square one again, so it’s never really crossed that line.
Until now.
"Have you talked to Bora yet?" Howon asks, staring at the TV screen neither of them are watching.
Truthfully, Howon doesn't really care anymore, because Sungkyu has pretty much zero problem being a terrible liar about it, but he makes himself ask daily just to remind Sungkyu that he can't stay nested here forever. Just because the couch was beginning to smell like him, it didn't mean he had any any valid claim on it.
Usually Sungkyu replies with some variation of "I'm getting around to it." "Yeah, just called her office today and couldn't get through." "She wouldn't answer the doorbell." Sometimes he gets tired of bullshitting and just goes straight up "Shut up, Howon." This time, Sungkyu tenses. He opens and closes his mouth, trying to get words out, before sighing resignedly and slumping back into the couch.
"Yes."
Howon is about to throw a pillow at him as protocol, until he actually processes what Sungkyu is saying. "What?"
"Yes," Sungkyu repeats. "I talked to her. It didn't go well. I'm unhappy."
Howon shakes his head. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
Sungkyu makes a sound of frustration. "I'm not." He slides his fingers through his hair and screams. "It's just, I thought it would be easier than this. Things haven't been peachy or anything, but it's not like we were singing love songs to each other at any point of our relationship. I mean, I know I'm plenty of things, but I have never been oblivious."
Howon squints at him. "I have literally no idea what you're saying." He really doesn't. It's not that he's even trying to be mean, he wants to know what Sungkyu is saying (especially if the information gained can help Sungkyu move out of the apartment once and for all), but he's pretty lost. Brain is functioning at 1/4 normal efficiency after being exposed to dangerous levels of genuine human emotion by Sungkyu.
"I just mean, I take good care of you guys, right? I'm usually attentive. I notice when things are wrong? Like I'm always the first one to notice when Sungyeol's had too much to drink and all that."
"Yeah, but only after he's already thrown up on you. Otherwise, sure. What's your point?"
"It's just that I always thought I was zoned in on things. I had no idea what was actually happening between me and Bora, and that she thinks I'm a jerk."
Howon coughs. "Well, you are a jerk." At Sungkyu's glare he amends, "But, to be fair, Bora did know what she was getting into. You've always been dense when it came to her."
Sungkyu actually has the audacity to look genuinely surprised. "What? No I haven't."
"Yes, you definitely have,” Howon says slowly. “When you guys were friends you guys spent half the time fighting. Just because you're attentive towards some people, doesn't mean you're attentive towards others."
"That day at Woollim," Sungkyu begins, "we were talking, and I asked if I could just move back in again, and she looked like she was going to say something but then... I made her cry, Howon. I didn't even say anything, but the thought of us getting back together made her cry."
Howon wants to say something scathing and sarcastic, but Sungkyu looks unusually vulnerable, and Howon understands. For all of his shortcomings, and for however much Sungkyu and Bora would fight, he did love her in some capacity. Sungkyu has never been the kind of person who enjoys hurting other people, that's why Howon was able to take his initially prickly and perpetually grumpy personality in stride. If Howon had to take a guess, he'd say the reason Sungkyu and Bora lasted for so long was because Bora knew who Sungkyu was, and knew that ultimately he cared. There's a point though, that caring stops being enough, and you need full bodied love and support -- Howon knows this well, Eunji told him those exact words when they finally split up.
"I think you should talk to her," Howon says. "Properly. Ask her what you did wrong, try and fix it. I don't need to tell you that sometimes one party is more at fault than the other in a break up."
Sungkyu breathes out through his nose and slumps back into the couch. "Where do I even start?"
"Sorry is a good place," Howon says. A silence lapses over the two of them and Howon shifts uncomfortably before looking back towards the television where a girl was getting yelled at by her boyfriend's rich mother.
"Howon?" Sungkyu says.
Howon doesn't look away from the screen. "Yeah?"
"Sorry."
Howon blinks and steals a glance at Sungkyu who's smiling at him. Howon's helpless but to smile back. He grabs a pillow and chucks it at Sungkyu's face.
"Jerk."
Howon doesn't even see it coming. He's noticed that Sungkyu's been out more often, but he didn't question the sudden blessing life had decided to bestow upon him. They still play pictionary every night, Sungkyu still hogs the couch, everything is going relatively normally until one day Sungkyu happens to come home while Howon was feeling inquisitive instead of apathetic.
"Where have you been disappearing to the last two weeks?" he asks, scrounging through the cupboards for a clean bowl.
Sungkyu shrugs off his coat, throwing it on the couch and flopping down after it. "I've been with Bora," he cracks his neck, "geez, she's really making up for the last four years."
This it it. The turning point of Howon's life. His lowest moment. It feels like the kitchen floor just opened up underneath him, that a storm just started raging in his stomach. Howon is a self-aware guy, okay? He isn't oblivious, and he doesn't waste time with denial. Sungkyu basically told him he'd been having hot make up sex with Bora for the last week or so, and how had Howon's emotions responded?
With jealousy.
Howon was jealous.
After spending a month in his company, walking to work with together, playing pictionary every night, Howon is now experiencing Sungkyu stockholm syndrome. He doesn't want Bora and Sungkyu back together again. He doesn't want to have to go to Birthday dinners and watch them bicker, then make out, and then bicker again. He doesn't want to go to another one of their anniversary parties, and wish them all the best. He doesn't want Sungkyu to roll around in the sheets with Bora. He doesn't want the rare sincere emotion Sungkyu shows to be showered on Bora and not him.
Howon wants Sungkyu all to himself, and the thought is making him kind of sick.
Sungkyu seems to have noticed something was wrong in Howon's extended silence, and he pokes his head over the edge of the couch. "Hey, Howon. Are you okay?"
Howon staggers before eventually falling onto one of the kitchen stools. "I think I'm going to be vomit."
Sungkyu looks alarmed and scrambles of the couch. He makes his way towards where Howon was leaning with his elbows on the kitchen counter, face clutched between suddenly clammy hands, and rubs between Howon's shoulder blades slowly.
"Get some sleep," Sungkyu says softly, "even dancing machines need their gears oiled once in a while." He chuckles at his own joke, sounding smarmy and self-satisfied, and Howon loves it.
"That jokes terrible," Howon mumbles, "you're terrible."
"Then we're the terrible two," Sungkyu declares. Man, wouldn't Howon love that?
So it looks like Sungkyu and Bora are "on" again. Sungkyu hasn't moved back into his old apartment yet, but he's been spending less time with Howon and Dongwoo, and more time running around with Bora instead. Howon's also had the unfortunate luck of running into them hugging outside the apartment once on a particularly cold evening. Mood already dampened from having to deal with a parent who threatened to sue Howon for his child breaking an ankle from attempting to artlessly recreate one of Howon's dance moves at home, he'd maybe acted more curtly and obviously towards the two love birds than he'd meant to. Howon is always being randomly rude to Sungkyu for no particular reason, so he doesn't think the latter particularly cares. But he feels terrible about Bora and makes her some take-away coffee the next time she's there to pick Sungkyu up.
Unfortunately, Bora also took the act of apology as a sign to extend an invitation towards Howon, Sungkyu, Dongwoo, and the rest of their gang to have dinner together with her friends. Just like old times. Old times Howon used to spend with Soyu, betting on how long it'd take before either Sungkyu or Bora stormed up from the table angrily.
Dongwoo, ever so perceptive when Howon doesn't need him to be, takes note of Howon's embarrassing predicament on the first day it makes itself known. When Howon retired to bed and Sungkyu regaled the story of how it was because he seemingly caught a stomach bug out of nowhere, Dongwoo had stood there against the doorframe, giddy and excited, while Howon was wallowing in self-pity under the blankets.
"This is amazing. It started as a joke, but now it's something real and tangible that could actually change the world."
Of course Dongwoo had changed his tune quickly after he had found out Bora and Sungkyu were working out the kinks in their relationship, and apologised profusely to Howon. Not until after he had excitedly told Woohyun and Sungjong though which just-- great. Fantastic. Great.
Howon has forgiven Dongwoo for his transgression, knowing that he probably wanted some kind of chick flick outcome with everyone conspiring to get Howon and Sungkyu together. However, he has not forgotten, which is why he's spent the last fifteen minutes of this dinner kicking him under the table.
The dinner is actually calm for once and it's awful. Bora and Sungkyu are laughing like they're on the honeymoon period that they never had, and even Hyorin -- who had always been Sungkyu's #1 anti-fan while Bora was dating him -- is waxing poetic about how nice it is to see them together.
Howon takes a long swig of his beer.
"...Howon hasn't grown out of his frat boy stage from college," Sungkyu tacks on to whatever he was saying before. He smiles at Howon who doesn't smile back.
Sungkyu’s mouth falters, and Howon would feel bad but Woohyun is sitting right opposite him and giving him a look of such pity that Howon would rather feel bad for himself.
"Anyway, so what were you saying about the guy at your work?" Sungjong asks, breaking the tense silence that was threatening to come to fruition. He pats Howon's knee consolingly under the table.
"Right. Basically, he bought his kid to work, let him play minecraft on my computer, and now all the financial reports of the last year are gone from my hard drive."
Dongwoo flinches. "Tough luck, you have some late nights ahead of you."
Bora nods solemnly but shrugs. "He's just a kid, they do dumb things. Kanghyung couldn't have known. Plus, I can get it done in half the time compared to before. Now that I don't have this pest hovering around me all the time." She moves to elbow Sungkyu in the stomach, who catches her arm pretends to twist it playfully. Howon's glass is empty. Why is Howon's glass empty?
"Wait!" Hyorin pipes up. "Didn't Soojung bring her kid to work last year and get put on probation when he accidentally ended up breaking the photocopier? That's so unfair!"
Sungkyu clears his throat. He lifts his glass up in the air and hits his plastic fork against it. "That," he starts, "is male privilege. Not having a child act out becoming a reflection on your capability to multitask as a parent and as a professional."
The table breaks out into a round of applause, and even Howon has to admit he's pretty proud of Sungkyu's new leaf. Don't get him wrong, Sungkyu may be the love of his life (urgh) but he's still obnoxious as fuck as a roommate. But at least now he's nicer towards women.
"I can't believe my eyes," Dongwoo says. "Bora, you've done the impossible. He's a new man."
Bora gazes at Sungkyu fondly. "Nah, just a bettered one."
Howon gets up from the table abruptly and almost knocks over the jug of water. So much for his plan to silently sneak away. He looks at the eight pair of cautious eyes aimed towards him and coughs. "I uh, need the use the bathroom. To freshen up."
He doesn't wait for permission as he strides towards the men's room. Once inside, he heads towards the sink, turns on the faucet, and splashes his face -- and the entire front of his shirt -- with freezing cold water.
"Get a hold of yourself Howon," he chants. "Get a hold of yourself. You're not this person."
The bathroom door opens behind him and Howon exhales loudly. "I'm fine Sungjong. Tell them I'm not feeling well. The faux stomach flu makes its grand return."
"I never bought that excuse, but I was so deadbeat and I couldn't be bothered to take you to a hospital to see if anything was actually wrong."
Howon groans. Just his luck. Sungkyu is standing behind him, while Howon is literally the human embodiment of a wet dog.
Sungkyu steps forward, and Howon takes an instinctive step back, but his back hits the edge of the sink. Sungkyu notices and frowns.
"What's the matter?" he says. "Why have you been acting so off this entire week?"
"I... I haven't. I've just been feeling ill." Howon reaches behind him for the soap dispenser and grips it tightly. He's not beyond knocking Sungkyu out if it means one less awkward situation he'd have to live through.
"Really?" Sungkyu asks scathingly. "Because from the way you've been avoiding me like I'm the plague, it seems like you're mostly just angry at me."
"I haven't!" Howon insists, and it sounds weak even to his own ears. "Seriously. I just, knew you were trying to patch things up with Bora, and I knew how much emotional distress the break up was causing you. So I wanted to avoid your moodiness and sulking." There. That sounds like something a normal, level-headed, non love-sick Howon would say.
Sungkyu snorts. "Come on, you sound like a ghost of yourself." He takes another step forward and Howon inadvertently flinches, holding on to the soap dispenser tighter. Sungkyu stops in his tracks, and the confident demeanour that he'd carried to the bathroom slips off, his shoulder slump, and frankly, Sungkyu looks almost as weary as Howon now that he's looking closely.
"Look, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable or whatever Howon. If I made you of all people feel terrible, then I know I've fucked up." Sungkyu runs a hand through his hair. "Guess Bora's intensive workshops were for naught."
Sungkyu looks completely defeated, and Howon feels like shit. "No! Look, they haven't been. Bora is a resolute person, she wouldn't have agreed to get back together with you if you hadn't become a better person. I was just avoiding you because... I don't know, I'm trying to get used to eventually not having you around the house."
Sungkyu looks at Howon, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about? Me and Bora are not getting back together."
"I-- what?"
Sungkyu shakes his head. "Bora and I aren't trying to get back together. We talked it out, we benefited each other a lot more as friends. That initial, I don't know, spark we had with our friendship disappeared after we started dating. We're trying to work towards how we were before, back when she could yell at me for saying something stupid and it wouldn't end up with one of us sleeping on the couch."
"You. You were always the one sleeping on the couch." Howon says absently. Still trying to process this new piece of information. But not trying to process it completely because he knows that way lies immense amounts of retroactive embarrassment for his behaviour in the last week or so.
"Yeah..." Sungkyu looks at Howon, like he's searching for something. "So?"
"So? So." Howon straightens up, no longer leaning against the sink. "So, we've been here a while. Let's go back to the table."
He moves to make his way past Sungkyu, but is jerked back by his elbow at the last second.
"Hey!"
"They left," Sungkyu says.
"What?" Howon exclaims. "They left because we were taking too long in the bathroom. God why are our friends all such douchebags."
"No, they were meant to leave before the two of us. We were meant to be the last ones left while the rest ran off."
"...Why?"
Sungkyu's face turns beet red, and he swipes a hand across his fringe like he always does when he's said/done/thought something incredibly stupid. "Because, I don't know. Bora watches too many movies, and apparently being left in a distressing situation brings two people closer."
Howon swallows. "Is you living with me for the last month or so not a distressing enough situation?" He should probably roll his eyes somewhere here, but Sungkyu is looking at him the way he used to look at Bora right before they teetered off the edge of dysfunctional friendship to unhealthy lovers.
Sungkyu thins his lips into a mean smile, slow and sensual. "Howon."
That's all it takes. Howon pulls Sungkyu closer by the collar of his shirt and then they're making out against the bathroom door. It's awful. Terrible. Sungkyu pulls Howon closer by the waist. It's like one of those fanfics Woohyun used to write about the two of them to try and make them feel uncomfortable. Lee. Howon. Is. Making. Out. With. Kim. Sungkyu. R&R. NC-17. Summary sucks, but the story feels like Howon's heart finally fits right in his chest.
Howon wants to say they pull apart to catch their breaths. But if Sungkyu is anything like him -- which he is, because they're a match made in a petty, sarcastic heaven -- then it was really because the full implication of what they were doing started to settle in and it was getting weird.
Sungkyu speaks first. "So."
Howon clears his throat. "So."
Sungkyu holds Howon's hand between his own, and it's only 30% strange. "I've been wanting to do that from a week after I moved in."
Howon's head snaps up. "What? Really?"
Sungkyu nods. "Yeah. Wait, how about you?"
Howon thinks back. The way these things work, it was probably simmering under the surface or building up for a while, but Howon can honestly say he didn't feel like he felt anything romantic towards Sungkyu until recently. "Um, a week and a half ago?"
Sungkyu steps back completely. "What? Bullshit."
"Uh, I think I know how I felt. Can we leave now? We need to talk about this but I don't want to do it in this tiny bathroom." Howon says.
"What about that time we were playing pictionary and I put your pencil in my mouth and you stared at me for like, five minutes until Dongwoo came."
Howon grimaces. "That was disgusting. I got that pencil from Vietnam, and you just-- urgh. Can we not bring it up? I feel annoyed thinking about it."
"How about--"
Howon really wants to leave this Godforsaken bathroom. "Does it really matter? I'm in love with you. So much so I actually do think at one point I gave myself a legitimate stomach bug thinking about it."
He expects Sungkyu to make a quip back, but instead he grabs Howon's face and plants a kiss on him. "Shut up," he murmurs against Howon's lips. Howon leans forward into Sungkyu, momentarily distracted by the feeling of Sungkyu's tongue against his own.
"You still have to move out. You're a terrible roommate."
Sungkyu moves back and throws an arm around Howon's shoulders, leading them out of the bathroom finally.
"We can talk about that later," Sungkyu says, fiddling with Howon's fingers, "when we get home."
"We can talk about it, but it's gonna be the same answer. I want you to move out."
"Yeah, we'll see."
"No, I mean it. I'm sick of you invading me and Dongwoo's bro-space."
"Aren't we sort of dating now? Each other's significant others? "In a relationship" on Facebook?"
"Even more reason why I don't want you in the bro-space."
"Alright, can I have a month to--"
"A week."
"Three weeks!"
"Two weeks. And uh... try and choose somewhere close to our apartment. Just for convenience’s’ sake."