A few years and two beautiful children later...
So who are we? What are we in this world? The point of our existence is yet to be proven, if not by someone else then by ourselves. Life is a parallel to all of us most of the time, some of us stay in one place and others keep running and running only to never find exactly what they're looking for. And then there's myself going over everything I have ever written here in my Journal I have realized that I have had some disturbing moments in my life, hard times and even confusing times. Then I go over them again and see who was there for em and who wasn't, why was I so troubled perhaps it was just built into my system? Not exactly sure but there were times when i just wanted to throw in the towel and give up. At those points in my life I could have and almost did a couple times, but now I don't have such a luxary. Now life is no longer about me and my feelings, now it's about them and my feelings about them. I have been given a gift and I have looked away from it, keep not that I will never say this again but Gavin was right he said "Ricky hang in there your time will come." I didn't listen then but I hear you now bro, my time is here and now, who wants to bitch and moan about everything when you can take action. I have two beautiful children and the drive and ambition to make their lives flourish, what right to I have to mope about my own? So this is it the time to shine, not for me but for them. I have always said I'm going to do something and then not gotten it done, well not this time. This time I'm following through with it all through thick and thin, so lets get a new place and get settled in and then make a FUCKING MOVIE! Damn right I got the short, I got the resources a little bit of time on my end and not goofing off and I can get it done. I love my children more than I love anything in this world and I will not let them live like I had too, nor will I let them have to struggle. We are here to build the future for our children even if we have to throw away some dreams temporarily. So let's do this!