So answer me this?
Why does God continue to torture me? why can't he let me move on and make it as though she never existed in my life? Probably because without her I wouldn't have God at all so if she doesn't exist in my life then he doesn't. How could that be true though, I mean she calls me all the time she still calls me sweety, babe and all those other names that used to have meaning to me but now their without pleasure they just roll off her tounge and mean nothing. Why do I answer her phone calls if I just want to forget and move on, because I still love her or I feel obligated to brighten her day, most likely a lot of both that's all I really am to anyone "Happy old Loving Richard" you know don't worry about me I don't have any feelings to be hurt. Well I'm sick of it it's like a hot poker in my eye I mean WTF am I supposed to do I care and then I don't it's a constant cycle, a battle in the back of my mind that knowone can see but me and I'm the only one that can fight it but the real question is can I win it? Why the fucking battle can't we just skip strait to the war and get it done with I mean if I'm going to lose why not just make it quick, get it over with I mean death is inevitable you know. Why do I always have to get fucked in the ass by the person I love who is supposed to love me in return, maybe love doesn't even exist maybe it's just a part of our imagination something that we think exists but actually doesn't. I don't know all I can say is I'm done with that shit I'm going to worry about one thing now and that's my carrer more than anything thats what I will put my focus into, anyways that's it for now.
RPG
RPG