It's been a while!
It's Gavins Birthday Happy Birthday Gavin I haven't made an entry in a long time and I know why it's because I have been thinking and Clairissa you know I can't lie to you ever. I miss you kitten so much,more than anything and yet somehow no one seems to understand I care about you so much and I miss you even more. I don't know how to explain this but have you ever had something thats right there the entire time and you want it so bad yet somehow you can't have it you don't know why you just can't well that's you kitten. I don't know if you'll read this Clairissa but a persons Journal is usually built off of their emotions and feelings and the things going on in their life. Gavin said something to me tonight that was very hard for me to understand but after thinking about it, it means something to me. He said to put the year in the back of my head as far as I can and put something before it, but I can't do that I can't just set you aside you're the greatest thing to ever happen to me. That is the one thing that truly is impossible and I have never thought anything to be impossible before I feel as though this is the struggle of my life. People have always told me I'm a good person I never really believed them I'm always trying to protect people maybe now it's time to start protecting myself I wish someone could protect me for me but they can't. I have principles and morales and I always obide by them and I believe that her father has his principles and morales too. I'm sure he obides by his and thats good because thats what makes us who we are we grow into the men we are to be by following these principles. Now I'm rambling "LOL" all I'm saying is I miss you so much but with god as my leader I will be fine and I have you to thank for that. I care about you deeply and I can't wait until this year is over and I hope and pray you feel the same, I have a year to build a foundation to start a life of my own so that maybe I can try a life with you. I don't know if you'll read this and I understand if you're afraid so am I, heck I've been afraid since the first day you looked so deep into my eyes. You once told me that the eyes are the window to the soul well kitten when you looked into mine as deeply as you did what did you see. I know you're afraid to respond to me in any way because that would be contact and we're not supposed to but I just want to know you're there, I need to know just once. I'm not trying to break the promise I made with your father it will be kept and I will keep my word and come to you on September 12th.
I miss you kitten,
Always Ricky
Quote: "The lord Jesus Christ has given me so much, in a way I regret not knowing him before but in a way I don't because had I known him before I never would have met her."
RPG
I miss you kitten,
Always Ricky
Quote: "The lord Jesus Christ has given me so much, in a way I regret not knowing him before but in a way I don't because had I known him before I never would have met her."
RPG