sometimes want to go on Tumblr and search the tag with a character's name and then I stop myself, like: hang on, that's my character, nobody even knows him/her
LOL awwww bb. <33333
Yeah, that's rough. I don't do original, and I can't imagine how isolating that must sometimes feel. I'm trying to let go of wanting/needing feedback, because I am a happier person if I'm not anxious about no one reading my things, and I am currently training for a profession where you don't really know if anyone is reading your DISSERTATION AND BOOK-LENGTH things, and people probably are not because they're, uh. Academic. XP Ugh, though. Ugh! Because part of it is like, you want people to love your things, and part of it is undeniably an ego thing. But you also really want to know if you're doing anything well, if people are interested/invested, if people like what you're doing, and what you can improve on. When you're emptying things out into a vacuum (that isn't really supposed to be a vacuum...) it's so disheartening/terrifying because you don't know if anything you're doing is doing anything for other people. And the point of words and writing words is both personal and communicative. And if you can't gauge if you're improving, or if you're going down some horrible, destructive writing path, or anything. THE WORST. D;
To be honest, I feel guilty for not reading your stuff because I do love your writing, but SPN pisses me off so much at this point that I seriously can't stand it >_< I tried to stop watching at least three times XD There are still episodes in season 9 I haven't seen (and one in season 8, I believe). I hope this sense of irritation passes so I can at least catch up on the fanfics. I've almost completely let go of my need for feedback. I think posting on AO3 partly helps with that because people there seem to be more inclined to leave kudos than a comment (I confess I myself have become too lazy to comment so I mostly leave kudos and fav if I particularly love something). But of course it's nice to receieve feedback, especially if it's positive, and I miss that sometimes. (What I don't miss is messages like "write a sequel!!!!111" in reviews for a story that is 8 years old XDDD) I'm pretty sure that if I started posting my originals (they're faaaar from finished, so it's not an issue anyway) I wouldn't get any feedback either, so that also helps not to angst about it, but sometimes I imagine a fandom for my stuff and think it'd be so cool)) Like, I'd go on Tumblr and even read hate for my novels b/c it'd be fun XD
Argh, I have such a love/hate hate/grudging tolerance of AO3, I must confess. I dislike the kudos system a lot. I was presenting at a conference earlier this year and one of the keynote speakers actually theorized the nature of the Internet and its feedback systems, and it made SO, so much to me. Plus my dad thinks the Internet is destroying culture by driving people to subsist on--okay, that is definitely a topic for another post. But tl;dr I do not like the kudos system at alllll. XD Relatedly, I have a hard time reading kudos as something other than "I approve of the existence of this thing," as opposed to "I actually read this thing and took it into myself." /SO MUCH RANT, LOL THE SEQUEL TO MY TUMBLR SIDE-EYE
Don't mind me. XD
I just wish so, so much that the fandom online writing community was set up to actually create a community of writers open to giving and receiving useful constructive feedback. A DREAM, A DREAM.
I guess my problem is that I'm not a very analytical person so I don't like "reviewing" things per se. You can see me rant about films or TV-shows but it's on my own LJ, it's sort of just word vomit. When it comes to fic comments, I never know what to say, so I just end up highlighting my favourite moments and going all: cool cool cool. XD Besides, I think about published authors who can choose not to read any feedback on their writing and I think: since when do we owe people feedback? I can comment on the story by someone I know but it's hard for me to comment on strangers' fics (much harder than it used to be in the Naruto fandom f.ex. b/c I generally talked to people more then; now I barely talk to anyone, both online and IRL). So for me, the kudos system is a good compromise.
LOL awwww bb. <33333
Yeah, that's rough. I don't do original, and I can't imagine how isolating that must sometimes feel. I'm trying to let go of wanting/needing feedback, because I am a happier person if I'm not anxious about no one reading my things, and I am currently training for a profession where you don't really know if anyone is reading your DISSERTATION AND BOOK-LENGTH things, and people probably are not because they're, uh. Academic. XP Ugh, though. Ugh! Because part of it is like, you want people to love your things, and part of it is undeniably an ego thing. But you also really want to know if you're doing anything well, if people are interested/invested, if people like what you're doing, and what you can improve on. When you're emptying things out into a vacuum (that isn't really supposed to be a vacuum...) it's so disheartening/terrifying because you don't know if anything you're doing is doing anything for other people. And the point of words and writing words is both personal and communicative. And if you can't gauge if you're improving, or if you're going down some horrible, destructive writing path, or anything. THE WORST. D;
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I've almost completely let go of my need for feedback. I think posting on AO3 partly helps with that because people there seem to be more inclined to leave kudos than a comment (I confess I myself have become too lazy to comment so I mostly leave kudos and fav if I particularly love something). But of course it's nice to receieve feedback, especially if it's positive, and I miss that sometimes. (What I don't miss is messages like "write a sequel!!!!111" in reviews for a story that is 8 years old XDDD) I'm pretty sure that if I started posting my originals (they're faaaar from finished, so it's not an issue anyway) I wouldn't get any feedback either, so that also helps not to angst about it, but sometimes I imagine a fandom for my stuff and think it'd be so cool)) Like, I'd go on Tumblr and even read hate for my novels b/c it'd be fun XD
Reply
Argh, I have such a love/hate hate/grudging tolerance of AO3, I must confess. I dislike the kudos system a lot. I was presenting at a conference earlier this year and one of the keynote speakers actually theorized the nature of the Internet and its feedback systems, and it made SO, so much to me. Plus my dad thinks the Internet is destroying culture by driving people to subsist on--okay, that is definitely a topic for another post. But tl;dr I do not like the kudos system at alllll. XD Relatedly, I have a hard time reading kudos as something other than "I approve of the existence of this thing," as opposed to "I actually read this thing and took it into myself." /SO MUCH RANT, LOL THE SEQUEL TO MY TUMBLR SIDE-EYE
Don't mind me. XD
I just wish so, so much that the fandom online writing community was set up to actually create a community of writers open to giving and receiving useful constructive feedback. A DREAM, A DREAM.
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